tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31057338230519383802024-03-19T14:41:03.265-05:00Power Your OwnPower Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-58427035149019603732020-08-16T22:29:00.002-05:002020-08-16T22:29:18.527-05:002020 The Reset (nothing new for me)<p> My life at the beginning of 2020 was smooth sailing. You see, I had already been through several bumps, twists, and redirects leading up to 2020. I don't think my situation is unique. With that being said, I am a bit frustrated with my current situation of having to find another source of income...some may frame it as a 'career'. </p><p>I graduated high school with a very average everything. Average grades, average ambition, average athletics, and average low/middle class parents.</p><p>I went to college on loans. I graduated with a very general degree in organizational communications with very average (read: low) grades. But I did it. I graduated. I was the first and only member of my immediate family to go to college and graduate. And I had no idea what I was doing. </p><p>After college I struggled a bit to find a "real" job and bounced around a bit...quite lost on what I wanted to do. Eventually landing a position at a non-profit through connections of my then boyfriend, now husband. I had no idea what I was doing. </p><p>At 25, I was pregnant. It was unexpected. I had a good job, good benefits, and was in a steady relationship. We got married in September and had our daughter in January. I had no idea what I was doing. </p><p>My husband worked in the hospitality industry and worked in a very high volume restaurant in our early years of marriage often working 4pm to 2am. </p><p>Taking care of my family has always been my first priority. Before I was married or had children, I always had a deep affliction for those that stayed home and took care of their families. One of the first papers I wrote in college was about this subject and it is something very close to my heart. I had no idea what I was doing.</p><p>When my daughter was under a year old, I decide to leave my job. This was my choice. I decided to work part time as a banquet server because my priority was my family and the pay was just as good. I had no idea what I was doing. </p><p>Long story short....I have entered the educated, mother who works part-time realm of existence. </p><p>From this point in my life I have made a few or a great many different leaps and bounds to earn an income that I define as respectable. I had no idea what I was doing.</p><p>I've worked as a server while hiding it from my employer that I was pregnant and come home and cried everyday about messing something up. </p><p>I've worked for colleges in the catering department and found myself pumping in janitor's closets. </p><p>I've worked for museums part time in development offices with cushy pumping rooms but with little respect from fellow employees. </p><p>I've worked for restaurants as catering directors but chefs and cooks had no idea who I was when I walk into the kitchen. </p><p>I've captained food trucks while guests speak to my male employees as if they are the managers. </p><p>I have worked part-time or something cut from the part-time cloth since I had my daughter. And I don't mind that. I wanted that and I want that. HOWEVER. I have experienced some bullshit.</p><p>I have worked part-time in professional offices. When you take a part time position....there are conditions. From my experience the conditions are as follows: you aren't paid the same as full time employees, you don't actually need your job, you don't actually care about your job, you're just here because you're bored. </p><p>This is cynical. It is also true from my perspective.</p><p>We moved around a bit and I was often in search of a professional part time position. Difficult to come by and difficult to maintain because nobody likes you. </p><p>We moved back to Nashville approximately 5ish years ago. I've worked in a few different positions since we've been here. One day, I got a phone call....</p><p>A catering company got my name from a friend of a friend (re: my husband) and randomly called me up and asked if I would be interested in interviewing for a position. </p><p>I thought to myself...you know, I'm going to go in there and tell them exactly what I want. </p><p>And I did. I told them I wanted to be paid full time, but that I would work from the office part time. I told them I wanted to pick my kids up from school and be there when they needed me. I told them that I would get the job done regardless of how much time I spent in the office. And you know what? They said, YOU'RE HIRED. </p><p>After so many years of doing a bunch of bullshit...after so many years of hiding my priority of my family, after so many years of taking pay cuts so I could raise my children, after so many years of having no respect in the professional environment I had finally, FINALLY, settled into a place that let me be both. </p><p>My boss, my team, my clients, MYSELF....they let me be both a mother and a professional. And they respected both. And now the unfortunate reality is that I have to find that again. And I gotta say....I don't wanna. </p><p>HOWEVER. I will say that perhaps this whole pandemic has opened some doors and some minds to the idea that people can get jobs done (maybe even better and faster?) on their own time. And MAYBE, just maybe we stop exchanging time for money and rather exchange did you get the job done for money. I've been selling that line for far too long. </p><p>I start a new job this week. I feel pathetic. And useless. And like I have nothing to offer. And like...I'm old for Christ's sake. I should not have to be doing this. I HATE YOU COVID-19, I REALLY HATE YOU. </p><p>But...I've been here before. Too many times. The feelings are the same. See above. But damn, this time it hits different because it's not my own doing and not expected. I'll make it through though....I always do. </p><p>Just be nice to each other. We really have no idea what the other person's story is....just love them first. </p><p>THE END. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-30504868786299657482020-01-26T07:55:00.000-06:002020-01-27T14:56:16.643-06:00Making A Difference And Doing The Right Thing<br />
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I haven't written in some time. It's been super busy, super full with so many cool things and successes but, this is not about powerlifting, nor is it about strength
sports or coaching. This is a message/blog that I am compelled to write.
Something that I hope hits home with all of you. Noone loves strength, the
training and competing more than me. It’s what gives me purpose and makes me
feel alive. That said, I have a huge soft spot for the animals of the world,
especially dogs, I mean especially dogs. The past week, mine and Missy’s, and
well our four girls, lives were turned upside down. So, allow me to tell you
about our boy, for a week, Watson. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As per usual, I am going to
Tarantino it a little bit and rewind. Our schedules are well documented, It’s
brutal, sometimes painful and just plain crazy but, here we are, living the
dream. Cory Jean and Missy competed that Saturday. Missy and I left work a bit
early Friday, loaded up and drove to Oak Ridge. They competed, we even managed
to pick up some Atlas Stones for the gym and made the trek back. I was finished
early with programming and looking forward to a real Sunday off and with the
holiday being an off day for my day job Monday, I have a full list of chores
that I could get done. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Man makes plans and God laughs…<o:p></o:p></div>
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This seemingly couldn’t be more
true. Sunday morning, I’m shopping on the internet looking at potential things
for the gym and perhaps my bourbon collection and such, looking at videos and
what not. Melissa wants to go to breakfast which is something we do regularly
on Sunday if we’re home. She suggested a couple of places close to home but,
given the time of the morning, I knew they’d be super crowded so, we headed to
Hermitage the back way from our house instead of going to Mt. Juliet. We get a
few miles from home and in the middle of the street is a young full blooded
Blue Heeler. AN Australian Cattle Dog. I love the breed and knew what it was
immediately. I stopped saying, that is someone’s dog. Pure breds like this are
not strays. This clearly belongs to someone. I thought a lead had been broken
given the size of the lead coming from his collar. I literally stopped in the
middle of the road to put on flashers when Missy opened the door to call him,
he was jumping in the car and was so happy to see us. I figured, no big deal.
We will look at his tags and call the owner and be on our way and be a hero for
the day for saving someone’s dogs…and man, was I really, really, really wrong.
You see, it wasn’t a lead at all, nor was it broken. It was an over sized
collar. SO what to do? We go home and I’m not going to bore you with all the
stuff we did, hoops we jumped through and bullshit to find the owner. The
answer is, yes, we did all the things and this is where the story takes on a
different definition. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This dog was a male, young or
young ish and likely 18 months old, maybe less. His owners were found. We tried
to return him and no one would answer the door and we noticed a bird on the
front porch and the weather is really cold, freezing. I know then, we can’t
return him. He has to find a home. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have experience fostering dogs. I have done it many times. I have had as many
as 10 dogs in my home knowing they’d all find homes, etc. I have paid for
surgeries and seen pups through with a therapeutic time in a loving home before
they went to a forever home. I never had an issue with it as I knew what the
outcome was and what was expected. While I loved them as if they were going to
be with me always, I loved them knowing they’d be moving on and I never worried
with it nor did it bother me. It was the right thing to do, a good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is until Abbi came into my life. Abbi
is my dog. She’s a German Shepherd mix with God only knows what. She was found
by the police roughly 13 years ago. Likely thrown from a car and found yelping
in a hedge row. She was so new born that not only were her eyes closed, her
ears were still laid down. I don’t want to take away from the story but, Abbi
was bottle fed, raised to an adoptable age, adopted by one of my greatest
friends and it didn’t work out with her other dogs and she had to be brought
back. Abbi was going to leave after a break up and after some discussion, it
was agreed Abbi should stay with me. She has been the best pal, the best
comfort and simply the most loving animal I have ever had the privilege of
knowing. I need to write about her some day as now, she is 13 and aging rather
quickly…like me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reason I share this
is Abbi is the first real rescue and foster that I fell for and it changed me
for forever. In that time, I’ve only fostered one other dog and simply can’t do
it anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This makes Watson’s story
that much more difficult to have lived and to write. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When you introduce basically a
juvenile male dog, that is a working breed and super smart, to a home of 4
girls who are at least older and even geriatric, it’s a recipe for a pile of
shit to occur and this was what we faced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Cierra has pulled a few Tupperware type dishes from the counter and
“killed” them. I have the video to prove her guilt. Abbi has counter surfed a
few times in her life and eaten a few lbs of steak to say the least but, I have
never had a dog that was capable of jumping from the ground to the counter and
fishing for something to snack on or jump up on my kitchen table that’s a high
bar table so he could lay down. I think I’m illustrating well what we were
dealing with. <o:p></o:p><br />
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Within hours, Missy has “named”
the pup, Watson. I’m going to assume that it’s because of her love for the
Nashville Predators and Watson is one of her fav players. I never asked for
sure but, I’m betting I’m close and just as well because the name stuck, with
everyone. Meaning all that come to our gym. Watson stayed in the gym during the
day because he’d eat everything in sight and terrorize the girls who didn’t
know what to do with him and he seemed just fine with that. We have people that
visit through out the day and it wasn’t long before you saw videos and
Instagram stories of whoever was training and Watson being part of said
stories. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Each night, Missy and I would get
the girls together, coral them to the bedroom and Watson and I would go to the
living room. The first night he was very restless It was a new place and he
clearly had never slept indoors. We had pulled old ticks off him, Missy bathed
him because he smelled so bad and he was not at ease at all. He settled after a
few hours and slept a bit. That was Sunday night. Each night, he was quicker to
simmer down. Each night, he’d jump on me lay on me for may a minute, 2 minutes
tops and then snuggle a little bit and jump to the other couch, Missy’s couch
and go to sleep. Each night got easier for him. He would be a bundle of energy
when Missy and the girls got up and even learned to use the dog door. He was at
“home” even if it was going to be brief. <o:p></o:p><br />
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I’m going to tie all this up now.
He had his foster Mom come pick him up today. The gym had fallen in love with
him. There were many pictures taken of different folks holding him or him doing
something cute, etc. I knew he couldn’t stay. We have a hard enough time taking
care of our girls. But it was the right thing to do. You see, the eyes never
lie. I would scruff him and pet him each day before I left for work I would
take my thumb and rub the bridge of his nose and forehead and you could see the
comfort and how much he loved it and when I stopped I could see his eyes meet
mine and know he needed a place to be safe and to be loved. He wanted to be
loved so much. I could share so many other things but quite honestly, it’s too
hard and that’s going to have to be for Watson and I and maybe when I tell
stories on down the road about the dog Missy and I rescued. What I will share
is he loved everyone. And it’s a cliched and passing note to all of us that
love can be so simple and easy. That love can help heal and can provide comfort
and a place to be while you find your way home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Missy sent me a message showing
me the board in the leg area where people had petitioned to bring Watson back.
Jenn had been instrumental in helping us find a foster and took a pic when he
was leaving. Missy and I had a moment when she left for work. I knew she wanted
to keep him and was attached and he was attached to her as well. When I got
ready to leave today, knowing he was leaving, I spent about 5 minutes loving on
him and scruff him and rubbing the bridge of his nose and forehead. I’d like to
think Watson knew he was cared for and loved and that we want him to have the
greatest forever home. I’d like to think Missy and I, as well as, the gym
folks, made a difference. Watson is a good boy but needed our help and love and
support. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Watson you touched my heart. I
will miss you and I hope the foster works out and you find your forever home.
Should it not work out, of course we’re here for you. You are such a good and
loving boy and clearly a light. Always be a good boy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-37872750067042155192019-10-23T20:31:00.002-05:002019-10-24T10:28:01.863-05:00Salty but Showing Up: 2019 Raw Nationals RecapEvery good recap starts long before the actual part about the meet itself or maybe I'm a food blogger? I digress. I'm going to start all the way back at 2018 IPF Worlds. I knew that was going to be my last meet at 57. I knew that I would not be making an appearance at Worlds in 2019. I made a very calculated decision to go up to the 63's and take the summer off. The saltiness begins because what I expected to happen and what actually happened didn't align. A recipe for dissatisfaction. Cognitive dissonance has been haunting me ever since my third deadlift at 2018 Raw Nationals hit the ground.<br />
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2018 Raw Nationals ranks quite high in regards to performance and satisfaction. I finally managed to hit lifetime PR's on lifts. On my third deadlift, I was pulling to break a 500kg total. It would have been a hell of a get, but I just couldn't quite lock it out. I ended the meet with an American Record squat (also an unofficial World Record) and a 490.5kg total with 8 made attempts. My first real training cycle as a 63 set the standard HIGH. My expectations for training and numbers afterward followed suit.<br />
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Training was going fairly well up until about January and it just kind of fizzled out. I did The Arnold in March with a bench that left (read: I lost about 7.5kgs off my best), a stagnant squat, and deadlift that had sky rocketed only to slide backwards before the meet. I was pretty devastated and a lot salty. I most certainly did not want to do The Arnold much less The Grand Prix. However....I also do not want to be an ego driven lifter who only shows up when they think they can win or cause an uproar with records and such. For The Arnold our strategy was simply to get all 9 lifts and not chase any particular number or record or placing. I was in no mood to load numbers for the sake of loading of them when they simply weren't there and took it as an opportunity to practice restraint and maturity as a lifter and team. And we did. We went 9 for 9 and totaled 485kgs, 5.5kgs less than my total at Nationals. <br />
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Training after Nationals still didn't pick up much but it at least seemed to be holding steady, except for bench...it was still dragging it's feet. Even though training wasn't super exciting and at times my motivation was pretty low...I kept telling myself to keep showing up and to keep my effort in check. Still pretty salty just about ALL OF IT but, showing up.<br />
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In June, just before we went on vacation, we made an offer on a house. This is why I wanted to take the summer off. Even though I knew this was our plan, making the offer happened a little bit sooner than we really expected. Another thing that I didn't quite expect was the amount of FOMO I felt watching IPF Worlds.<br />
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We get back from vacation and I AM READY to hit the ground running. I am ready for training to take off and I AM READY for this house business to be taken care of. Well. Neither one of those things exactly took off. My focus was in about 238475937 places at once. Nonetheless, time only moves forwards and that's what I did.<br />
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When we actually moved, the physical part of moving, which coincided with school starting (#whyamilikethis), I believe is when we got behind the fatigue curve a little. I was tired, and hungry, and thirsty and my life and schedule were in shambles, but I made it to training...wearing the clothes I slept in the night before and with paint in my hair, but I showed up.<br />
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All of the aforementioned parts of life added up and were reflected in my training and how I felt. My knees were killing me. Waking me up in my shitty sleep killing me. With the lack of progress, and painful knees I thought I was old and had osteoporosis and this was the end. I had my day in the sun. However, after talking with a PT friend, I (she) figured my osteoporosis was patellar tendonitis so all hope was not lost for the long term. But I'm still salty...and showing up.<br />
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I keep waiting for the turn around. I am also looking at the calendar and I know I'm running out of time. Once we get over the big hump of moving and home improvements and start to get settled into the new school year....I start to settled into the idea that this meet is not going to be what I thought it would. I decide to adjust the goals. I tell Wade and Aaron that I'm just going to shoot for a PR total and a silver medal finish.<br />
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I'm about 3 weeks out and to be honest I am starting to question whether or not the adjusted goal is even attainable. I am salty about it. But I keep showing up. On the bright side. Bench starts to peek through the darkness. This takes a bit of the edge off.<br />
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I had been having some issues with sleep pretty much since we made the offer on the house. Just too much going on for my mind to just freakin relax. If you've been around a while, you know I train in the mornings before work. This makes for a pleasant combination. Wade was going to South Africa to compete in his IPF Worlds and I was happy and proud of him for making it there. It also happened to be my heaviest week of training. Call it divine intervention. Call it coincidence. Call it luck. Call it whatever you want. I had to switch my training to evenings for this last heavy week and I think it may have been what saved me.<br />
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This last week of training was a big ol breath of fresh air. I felt like myself again. I felt strong again. I also felt salty because I just couldn't help but think it was too late. I kept thinking, MAN, if I had one more week of this I could see PR's on the horizon. I can't control that though so I sack up and decide to ride the high of that last week.<br />
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ENTER: Podcast previews. ENTER: TRUCK LOADS OF SALT. Now. I do try to limit my ego. But let's be honest....having an ego is a prerequisite for powerlifting. My feelings were hurt. I kept running the numbers in my head. I'm thinking, I take one summer off and everything I've done has been erased. I felt left out but I let it fuel me (shout out to Matt Gary for having my back though).<br />
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Enter: Jennifer who won those titles and set those records. Let them sleep. I have done the work. I have set the appropriate goals. We have made the plan. That is what we do. We do the work, we set the goals, we make the plan, we execute the plan and the goals take care of themselves.<br />
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Ok, meet day details:<br />
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Surprise! I didn't sleep a wink the night before the meet. "Woke up" feeling like a steaming pile of week old garbage. I went for a walk with the hubs and we goofed off and make jokes and took pictures and it was enough to shake it. At some point I tried to think of how I had slept before any other meet. I couldn't remember. At that point I said to myself....it really doesn't matter. All that matters is what actually happens, so let's actually fucking go!<br />
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Squats:<br />
The bar felt good. Everything else felt like garbage. Scanlon is opening 12.5kgs heavier than me. Embarrassing. I remind myself I had a plan and to only worry about executing MY plan. The outcome will take care of itself. I was very tempted to ask to drop my opener. My attempts were slightly more aggressive than my usual style. We knew I could hit the numbers and we were leaving the door open for an unexpected great day. Before the opener I told myself it was just about hitting it. It wasn't about it being super fast. Just get it. You've done this weight countless times. Opener was 170kgs and good. I repeat this talk to myself for my 2nd at 180kgs and it is good. For the third, I thought for sure the call would be 182.5kgs. Wade comes up to me and tells me that I'm going to have to dig. At that point, I knew he had called 185kgs. I LOVE a good affirmation. From the time I finished my second attempt, I repeated to myself, "Jennifer Millican goes 3 for 3 in the squat, lift is GOOD for Jennifer Millican". And it was. Wade and Aaron made the perfect call and I am feeling good about being able to deliver. We closed out squats in the number 1 position.<br />
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Bench:<br />
WELL I'LL BE if bench didn't feel like I could have hit a life time PR. I complained about my bench nearly everyday. I made adjustments. I changed my training. I changed my set up. I changed my grip. I did literally everything and I never stopped trying. I was so pumped about my bench from that incredible meet a year ago and I refused to let it go. I hit 107.5kg in training a few times. I wanted 110kg SO BAD for my last heavy session but 107.5kg didn't move quite fast enough to warrant the call. So I hit 107.5kg for my final bench in training and would have been over the moon with 110kg in the meet. I hit 112.5kg in the meet and I'm not lying when I tell you it was better than the only other time I've hit it...which was at 2018 Nationals. Bench is still a bitch and I love her. Going into deads we are in 2nd place which I expected. But nothing can bring me down from the momentum I'm feeling.<br />
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Deads:<br />
Deads felt like deads. Not super great but not horrible. At this point, it's just about securing the goals. Going into 3rds, Wade tells me I've got the silver place position and he is going to load 195kg to obtain our 2nd goal of a PR total. I knew I could get it. I knew it could be hard. When deadlifts are SUPER hard, I tend to gyrate (you heard me) which tends to make judging difficult. So I did have enough stress to constitute another affirmation. "Jennifer Millican goes 9/9 and takes the silver medal position".....and I did. Gyrations were not present (I think they are very fatigue related).<br />
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I went 9 for 9, totaled 492.5kgs and took silver. Scroll back up and re-read my goals, I'll wait.<br />
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I may have been salty, but I showed up. Ima take all this salt and use it to season this next training cycle.<br />
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Much love to Wade, Aaron, my husband, all of my team, family, and friends for sticking with me and refusing to quit believing and reminding me when reminding was needed.<br />
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#letsactuallyfuckinggo<br />
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Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-66763783090365996282019-03-11T15:52:00.003-05:002019-03-11T15:52:22.006-05:002019 Arnold Grand Prix: The Great, The Good, and The Indifferent500 Kilos. That was my original goal for 2019 Arnold. In the beginning, I was invited to the Pro/Am, not The Grand Prix. I'll admit, at first it stung.<br />
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Then, I embraced it. I liked the idea of a normal paced meet, likely the slowest paced meet I would have done since 2016 Raw Nationals. The C-Pod did always seem to have more hype from my perspective. It seemed to have more of a"home field advantage" kind of feeling. Not that the Grand Prix isn't great in it's own regard. I was perhaps looking forward to a different experience. Maybe, even one with less pressure.<br />
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500 Kilos. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. I told them this shortly after Nationals. Both of them said that would be easy. I thought it was reasonable. But then, I got to thinking. It<i> seems</i> easy. It<i> seems</i> easy because I just had a really great meet. Possibly, my best performance to date. So I've noticed, it's really difficult to follow up the best meet of your life with another best meet of your life. As I remember this little part, I take the 500 kilos and tuck it away into the 'let's wait and see' file.<br />
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I read a book called 'How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big' and it has been quite influential in many ways. Observing repeated patterns is one of the key tools I took away from the book. Just by observing a pattern, I can either interrupt it, avoid it all together, or go around it. I may not know the exact cause of the pattern, I just know it exists.<br />
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There are two patterns at play here. One is the aforementioned GREAT MEET and the pattern of the follow up. I've noticed for every three meets I do, one tends to be great, one good (or medium), and one shit, but for the sake of not sounding negative, I'll call it indifferent. Maybe it's the timing of the meets? Is it too much to ask for three really great peaks every year?<br />
<br />
The other pattern is the curse of The Arnold. Every year, without a doubt, training for The Arnold is going tremendously. Right up until the last block. Every year, I'm ringing in the new year with huge numbers in the gym. I'm talking lifetime PR's type of numbers. And every year, by the end of January, my numbers tank. Seemingly out of nowhere. Maybe it's the post holiday lack of merriment that gets me down? Maybe it's the overwhelming guilt I feel for the all the parties I went to and all the money Santa (me) spent on Christmas? Maybe I just run myself into the ground from October to January and it finally hits me approximately 6 weeks out from The Arnold?<br />
<br />
This year was no different. Squat and deadlift were doing quite well (deadlift in particular) and bench had been sort of lagging the whole time but I continued to be optimistic that it was going to show up. Until it didn't. Not only did it not show up, but it too started to regress. In my very unprofessional opinion, I believe an old nerve impingement (circa December 2015) had flared back up. No pain. Just no power. I lost ~7.5-10kgs on my bench. This really got me down.<br />
<br />
About the time my training starts to slip backwards is about the time that I was asked to go to The Grand Prix. I was hesitant to accept. However, I do have some pride. So reluctantly, I make the move.<br />
<br />
Don't worry, it gets worse from there. Every training session was a struggle. I legitimately wanted to withdraw. I begin to feel an immense amount of pressure to hit specific numbers that I know I don't have. What if I come in last (I did for all intents and purposes)? What if Scanlon takes my squat record on her 2nd (she did)? What if I fail a record attempt (I did not)? Maybe I should just weigh in heavy and avoid all pressures and comparisons? Maybe I should just withdraw?<br />
<br />
Maybe, the only person putting this kind of pressure on me was ME? Maybe The Grand Prix is nothing to fuck with and I should just go and put up some solid numbers and be grateful that I was asked to be a part of it? Maybe I should just surrender to the patterns I've noticed and have peace in knowing that this meet isn't THE MEET but better this one than literally any other one? MAYBE, it's time for me harness my experiences and stop acting so green?<br />
<br />
Let's go 9 for 9. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. At Nationals, I had the meet of my life, went 8/9 and totaled 490.5kgs. At sub-par condition, not a single grinder or even a slight risk, I went 9/9 and totaled 485kgs.<br />
<br />
We played the pattern. Maybe we bypassed the total shit meet and turned into the indifferent meet. Maybe instead of pushing beyond my limits, leaving me with feelings of failure, we instead lifted within our means and I'm left with the feeling of hunger for the next great meet. <br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-32211840990774505812019-02-11T12:23:00.000-06:002019-02-11T12:23:19.450-06:00Gratitude and what it means to meWhen I was a kid, I watched powerlifting and bodybuilding on TV. I loved wrestling and sports. I played lots of sports as well. This was the beginnings of my quest for strength. Many years working on our farm and many others farms to make money, also lead to the natural strength that I was so blessed with. I remember seeing the first worlds strongman man contests on TV and thinking how cool it would be to some day compete in strength.<br />
When I started competing in powerlifting, I had already been training for a few years. Simply training, working out and just trying to get strong. I had no desire to compete and honestly didn’t know of an outlet to do so. I was a big guy, enjoyed being strong and was fine with that. Back in those days, I had a bench and weights in my office where I worked. I had some dumbbells up to about 40 lbs. A co-worker would come down after hours and hand off to me and convinced me when I broke 300 in the bench, that I should do a meet. I was like, no way. He knew of a gym owner in Murfreesboro, TN. He stayed after me, and so there you have it. He came down, handled me at the meet, it was bench only. I met Anthony Clark and several local lifters, had a great time and was hooked.<br />
There is a lot of story to be told between that day and now. I won’t make you suffer through all that but, it brings me to the history of what is now The Ogre Compound. In the late 90’s, I started acquiring equipment and making boxes and boards and anything else I could do to have the tools needed to get stronger. I would work side jobs and after paying bills, I would take the extra money and buy plates. I remember buying all the 2.5’s the money I had would buy and being questioned as to why I needed 20 of them. I knew someday, well I hoped, that I would have a place where like minded people could come and train and do great things and get strong and be part of a team.<br />
In 2004, I moved into the house where the gym is currently housed. There was so much work done just to get a portion of it where we could train. In early 2004, we ran a regional meet in Bristol, VA. I bought my first of 3 monolifts at that meet and from there, the quest for more equipment really ramped up.2006 I opened the gym to private clients. I remember having 3 people and thought I was busy. In 2009, we build an addition where we currently have the monolifts and all things squat. From that point, we trained at the gym full time and have never looked back. Hard to believe how time has gone by. In 2013, I was at a meet in Cincy at The Sweat Shop judging. That is where I met Melissa or Missy as she is known. She moved here in 2014. We have made a house a home.<br />
I have traveled all over the planet in my pursuit and others pursuit of strength. I have been fortunate enough to go to far away places with lifters and see and do great things with them both as a lifter and coach. It is now February of 2019. Missy has competed in powerlifting, making a comeback from serious injury the year before at strongman nationals and had a great day with a lifetime pr in the deadlift. We’ve seen newcomer Cooper compete in his first strongman competition. Then part of the team was at another meet, Deanna, Alli, Mark and Deek. All doing so well and lifting as a team. This weekend, Big Mikey competed in a meet, going 8-9 and taking best lifter. Next weekend, another part of the team is competing at a meet that part of the team is running and reffing and a state chair. We have a weekend to catch our collective breath and then off to the Arnold. Some of the team is competing there and I get to coach with my buddy Chris. In the midst of all this, I am lucky enough to have an online team of folks and they are training hard and competing everywhere. It never stops and there are no days off…it is exactly what I signed on for. The days can be long and hours tiring but, even in moments where I question myself as to why, it is never far away that I’m given a message or sign as to why I do this.<br />
The gratitude comes from the trust all these folks have had in either coaching, equipment, facility, team and any number of things. For many of us, that little area downstairs is our social time, our solace and place of sanctuary. Where people from all places, races and religion simply come together with the common ground and goal to be the best versions of themselves and help each other achieve it. In the last month, I have had two people talk to me at meets that I had met earlier in my career. Patrick I met in the 90’s when he was 16! Now I coach him and he trains part time at the gym. Benita, {spelling?} saw me at a meet yesterday. I have seen her at a couple of events and thought, she looked super familiar. In talking, she said in so many words, you won’t remember this but 10 years ago…and I knew exactly at that moment how I knew her. Roughly 10 years ago, she contacted me about training. She was a professional wrestler and in the time of chatting and emailing back and forth, she got picked up and off she went. The world is such a small place at times. That lead me to tell the story of how I met Frank, who trains at the same gym she trains at. So many stories, so many lives and times shared.<br />
At the meet yesterday, Jesse spoke to me and said it was good to see me and in so many words, was appreciative of everything I had done for him and the SPF. Just the way we were treated, how we are treated every where we go. Each weekend, I have had to leave the team to train without me. They, the team, have created a culture. I have been upstairs grabbing a bag to leave and can hear them laughing, cheering and yelling for one another. Yesterday, I got an email from a lifter and video and there they were, being a team and spotting and coaching and supporting each other. A few weeks back, we had the biggest amount of lifters training at the gym in its history and I took a moment to step outside, outside the noise of the team and whatever music was playing to have a quiet moment to look up and give the Big Guy a nod and simply to be thankful. I have been so blessed to have worked with so many people. To train with them, to coach them and watch incredible things take place. Many have slept here, have eaten here and had a drink or several here. Noone here is rich but, a great pal of mine who has become family like so many, once told me, I needed to decide what wealth was to me. Was it to have a lot of money as that is rich or see the blessings I have and the wealth of things that I get to experience, share and simply live. I was chatting with Jenn the other day and told her, while this is hard…she was on me about taking care of myself and resting as she knew I was tired…I am living my dream. No, I don’t have a giant facility with all the cool toys and such but, we have a gym. Sure, I built it and have spent my life buying things, building things and such but, they make it a gym. Anyone can have a building and fill it full of gear but, the lifters, the people, they make it a gym. A place to be, a place to share and a place to pursue.<br />
I can say the same for the crew I get to work with online. Many of them have become family. We visit them and they come and stay with us. Many have had children or have gotten married. I have had a few of the guys after speaking with the Father’s of their now brides, message me to talk about what was to come. I have held babies and have been to graduations and go to family events. So, to say my cup is full is quite an understatement. Is it hard? Yes! Is it tiring? Yes…I should probably rest more than I do but, never feel sorry for me…I’ll never be rich and I’ll probably always drive some broken car and have a thing or two in need of repair on my house but, as long as I’m able, I’ll climb down those steep steps from my kitchen down into the gym, spilling coffee as I go. I remember when Wes visited as he lived elsewhere. He was about 14 and stood holding his back staring at the one monolift in the old part of the gym just incredulous, “we had a monolift”. Many years have passed since that moment but it is a vivid memory. And now, he coaches people here and trains here.<br />
I’m not sure how well I have conveyed my thanks and gratitude here but, I assure you, I am so blessed and know I am blessed well beyond anything I deserve. There are so many of you over the years that I have worked with that there are simply too many to mention individually but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your belief. Any of you that know me, know that belief and the word believe means such a great deal to me. Thank you for your trust. Many have spouses and children that come here. To be trusted with them is an immense privilege. I have been able to coach some of the strongest women in the sport right here. To have that bond and trust means so much to me.<br />
From here, I’ll say what I always say. I am going to try to be as strong as I can for as long as I can. I will continue to do what I can to learn and be open minded to new things and keep striving for what will help us all get that next pr, record and title. So, simply, from me to all of you that I get to be a part of life and lifting, so much thanks. The honor and blessing is mine.Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-48981654327840757692018-12-18T17:57:00.001-06:002018-12-18T17:57:36.688-06:00Louis LaFont Biss Leverages.<br />
My name is Jennifer. I am Louie’s Granddaughter. Also, mother to his first great grandchild, but no big deal.<br />
Some of you may know that I am competitive in the sport of powerlifting (or weightlifting as it is often called by family members). Well, by competitive, I mean, I’m one of the best there is. Literally, in the world of drug free lifting, you’re looking at one of the best in the world. No, seriously, I’m not kidding. I can legit bench more than 98% of this room. Now that I’ve established credibility, I can move on to my point. Most of lifting, is really just leverages. Leverages are really just the fastest and most efficient way from point a to point b.<br />
When we organize our training, there is an analogy we use which is quite applicable to life. Powerlifting is made up of the squat, bench and deadlift. In training, we can think of what we need to do based on a bucket that needs to be filled up. First start filling up the bucket with large stones. These large stones represent the main movements. Squat, bench and deadlift. The remainder of your bucket should be filled in with smaller stones or pebbles, then sand, then water. Each represents different and necessary and individual ways to get stronger. All these things combined and your bucket is solid. No gaps. No weaknesses. Each element plays a different role but is necessary for a solid competition. <br />
Over the years of my life (not that many), I find it difficult to decide whether I am a large stone, a pebble, or sand or water. You see, I come from a large family. And then I did a thing where I also married into a large family. (I promise I’m gonna get to Louie, just bear with me). My husband’s family is really good at many things that I am not. One of them, is gift giving. (Actually also one of Louie’s strengths). They are all fantastic at gift giving. I sit there on Christmas day in shame as I am just not good gift giving. My father in law retired. It was a big deal. They were having a big party. I start to feel the pressure of “THE GIFT” I ask my husband about “THE GIFT” and he’s no help. This is a guy who buys ceiling fans as gifts. Finally, I surrender. I ask myself, what am I good at? What can I leverage here? I call my mother in law, and say, “Listen, I’m no good at gifts. I don’t know what to buy. But what I can offer is cooking. I can cook all the food for the party” She sighs in relief. She is so happy to let me do the food and I AM SO HAPPY to offer it.<br />
Within our family, we have so many leverages to offer. We are a lot of large stones, pebbles, sand and water. My Grandma, Nancy, if you ask me, offers polish. Many people offer a meal, or a sleep on their couch or in their home, a place to stay after college, a word of advice. My Grandma does all those things but does them with POLISH. If you come to stay on her couch, she makes that couch up with fresh sheets, and a fluffed pillow, and is sure you have the remote near you before she turns off all the lights off and tells you good night. If she provides you a meal, whether in your home or hers, all appropriate accompaniments are presents. Salad, bread, entrée, sides, desserts and all packaged perfectly. If you have a meal in her home, there is no worry or thought of condiments or napkins. She will set up your t.v tray, be sure the lighting is right and you have ice in your glass. Should you need a place to stay after college, she will pack your lunch and your co-workers will be envious of your well balanced meals. If you need a word of advice, she will offer it, and do it matter of factly and her thoughts will be clear but never rude. While my Grandma has many fantastic characteristics, the one that has always stood out to me is her polish.<br />
We are a big family and that requires a lot of work for all of us to get together. Which translates to a lot of stones, pebbles, sand and water. We all float along with our different leverages. Depending on the time and the season, we have all likely been a stone, a pebble, sand or water. My father Larry, offers the leverage of fixing or building. My mother Anne, the leverage of small/special details. My cousin, Tony, the leverage of labor and presence. While I claim the leverage of cooking and meal planning in other arenas, Michelle and Mike are the keeper of that title here. Aunt Tracy and her family, often the entertainers of little ones. Aunt Kathy, the décor specialist and often times playing the role of event coordinator or organizer. Aunt DiDi, the peace keeper, the keep on keepin on of the matriarch. And all of the rest of us, filling in with our pebbles and sand and water. <br />
And Grandpa. Louie. The constant. The king. Mr. Christmas. I’ve been thinking about this speech and what I wanted to say for some time. And truthfully, it’s nothing like the one I had been rolling around in my brain. I wrote it once several months ago. Again, a couple of days ago. And once more last night. And that’s ok. I’ve learned through writing, that you can’t get married to one singular idea, you’ve got to let it flow through you. Over the past few days, I think I speak for all of us when I say that time has not necessarily stopped, but has not necessarily existed either. As I said before, I’ve been struggling on where I fit in. On what I have to offer. I think it came to me Thursday night as we ended the sacred fire for my Grandpa. There is one role that is not often mentioned. The role of the observer. My Grandpa often the man behind the camera both literally and figuratively. Over the past few days we’ve had so many friends and family stop by. I know I speak for all of our family when I tell you how incredibly grateful we are that each of you came. I watched old friends and family of the past come and remanence about years past. I watched young cousins comfort each other and challenge one another to take the ride down the hill on the big wheel. I watched the new generation take the reins on cooking and cleaning as our mothers and fathers comforted one another and played host to my Grandma and Grandpa’s friends and family. For those few days, time in fact did not exist. The past, present, and future were all there mingled and mashed up together and it was as if someone painted a live portrait of my life and time did not exist.<br />
Gathered here today, there is a beautiful smorgasbord of people. Each of us here have a story. A role. A different one. We may sometimes be a large stone, a small pebble, sand, or water. And that makes up a great and varied and wonderful story. And my Grandpa listened to each one. And he listened to understand. And he accepted each of us whether we were a stone, a pebble, sand or water. And that’s why we are all here today. Because in some way, Louis LaFont Biss made each of us believe in ourselves and our own leverages… just a little bit more….one day at a time. So…let’s raise our glasses……To Louie!..... May we forever be indebted to you and may we forever repay it.<br />
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Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-88837328608422899102018-11-15T21:07:00.001-06:002018-11-19T11:01:41.849-06:002018 Raw Nationals: Will the Real Jennifer Millican Please Stand UpAs per the usual, the beginning of a new training cycle always hinges on the results of the last one. <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2018/06/2018-ipf-worlds-meet-recap.html">After IPF Worlds in June</a>, I was pretty beat up and beat down. For almost the entire training cycle, I was either just getting over being sick, or about to be sick again. If I wasn't sick, I was dealing with an annoying tweak. And of course, the added fun of having to keep my bodyweight in check. All of this to say, I was probably a little worse off than I thought at the time, but in typical me fashion, I couldn't realize it until I came up for air after the meet. <br />
<br />
I had decided long ago that I would be moving up a weight class regardless of what happened in Calgary. So that was not even a topic of discussion. A non-negotiable. The training cycle started super slow. All dumbbells all the time. I was pretty hesitant to get any sort of heavy weight in my hands at all because of how beat up I felt. I sandbagged for quite a bit even with primarily non-barbell movements. Eventually, I get called out by my coaches and decide it's time to quit playing.<br />
<br />
Now, despite my hesitation to push, I was still optimistic (read: confident) about what I would be able to put up as a 63. Now, some of you reading may already know, but for those of you who don't, I'm gonna let a cat out of the bag. IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TO WEIGH LESS THAN 130 POUNDS. I don't care what my coaches say or how tall I am. For me to get/stay under 130lbs takes mucho discipline and I'm not talking about the showing up to the gym and getting through my training sessions and sticking with the plan 90% of the time discipline. I'm talking about 24 hours a day, 7 days a week of strict what am I eating/drinking, when am I gonna get cardio in, will I get a full 8 hours of sleep, what if I have to (or WANT TO) do something social kind of discipline. That's what it takes. And, quite honestly, I did it. For all intents and purposes, I DID THE DAMN THING. (see below)<br />
<br />
When I decided to go full force into USA Powerlifting, I set out to win Nationals, go to Worlds, win, and move up to 63's. Well. I went to Nationals. I won the 57's. I won best female lifter. I went to Worlds. I won. I set two world records. I won best female lifter. The only thing I did not follow through on was moving up immediately. Do I regret it? The only glimmer of regret I have is staying in the 57's for another year. But I wouldn't change that first year for anything.<br />
<br />
I only regret staying a 57 because I knew I was slipping. I knew my <b>willingness to have the discipline required was fading</b>. But I took the bait of the shininess of another title and shot at making history with a huge wilks. I went entirely against what my gut was telling me. I ain't just talking about hunger pangs. (insert hysterical laughing here)<br />
<br />
Back to the subject at hand. I decide to quit playing, and I'm confident about the numbers I would be able to put up. I am confident because as soon as I step off the platform and exhale as a 57, my bodyweight jumps to 135lbs. I can linger around 135lbs with mild discipline. But still discipline nonetheless. With no real discipline and living my life like a regular person, I'm at the top of the weight class. So I know what training feels like when I'm hitting that beautiful stride. Only this time, I'm gonna take it up a notch.<br />
<br />
Now, was training all rainbows and sausages? Not really. I was a little disappointed actually. Except for bench. Bench was bae the whole training cycle. Which I totally expected, but even with my high expectations, I was still impressed with how well bench was going. I kept waiting for the crash. There was no crash. It was glorious.<br />
<br />
Squat was going pretty well. We came out of the gate of heavy training with 170kgs. From there (my perspective here), it was pretty lack luster. We inched the weight up, but not one session was magical or super confidence boosting. I spent weeks squatting a single at 180kgs. I had decided I would not go any heavier than that. About 2 or so weeks out, Aaron tells me to push it for real. So, I load 182.5kgs and it was pretty close to a max effort squat. So, (in my 57kg brain), I think, I'm probably good for MAYBE 180kgs or 183kgs for a national record at the meet and even that would be awesome.<br />
<br />
Bench. As I said, bench was bae. Man, I don't even know what to tell you. It was just fire the whole time. We didn't get greedy. We did step up the frequency. I was doing some kind of pressing every session. I didn't rush or push any specific number. I really tried to walk a line. I thought because I had such trouble with bench at Worlds, missing 100kgs TWICE (hello fatigue), that if I could build a huge bench for Nats, it would really take my competitors by surprise (despite benching against the greatest bencher of all time). I knew where I fell short was the deadlift, so my strategy was to push the subtotal.<br />
<br />
Deadlift. What a bitch. WHAT A BITCH. So real quick, when I said I was sick for most of the training cycle before, what was kicking my ass was shingles. It just kept coming back. I couldn't get over it. Shingles attacks the nervous system. And, uh, lifting heavy ass weights isn't exactly easy on the nervous system. Bad move on my part? Maybe. However, the show must go on. I kept waiting on my deadlift to show up. And it was taking it's sweet ass time. For real. Now, I am a shakey person. I get the shakes. Please watch any video ever. MY NERVES IS BAD Y'ALL. I knew that my deadlift wasn't turning the corner because I would start getting the shakes at much lower weights than usual. So, one thing I did for the entire training cycle was take supplements regularly. I read all this stuff (it may be witchcraft or a placebo but guess what? Idgaf) about how stress or things like shingles that attack the nervous system will strip you of vitamin B and minerals. Which will kick your immune system in the dick and you'll be sick forever (i.e me). So I order some b complex vitamins and liquid minerals (and liquid vitamin d plus k for good measure) because I am no bueno at taking pills and quite honestly I am so sick of feeling like shit. I kid you not, that I felt my real deadlift finally showed up at my last heavy session when I hit 195kgs. It wasn't until that session that I thought I might be able to pull enough to be in the running.<br />
<br />
THE MEET.<br />
<br />
I had some thirds in mind. I was *somewhat* confident on my stretch goals for thirds. But all I knew for sure is what my first and seconds were and I didn't care what they loaded for thirds. I was just going to make them. What you have to understand is my expectations are set in the mind of a woman who has been at a caloric deficit for weeks (months?) and who is coming down to the wire on body weight. I know enough to know that meet day is a different ballgame and that expectations need to be kept in check.<br />
<br />
I am warming up for squats and think....uhhhhhh, what the fuck. WE JUST MIGHT have a good day on our hands. Of course, it's important that I don't acknowledge that and just do exactly what I'm told. My opening attempt, when I go out, I am taken aback by the crowd noise a bit. When I set up, I am not quite sure about head position and where I want to focus my eye sight. I hear only one person. I hear my husband. "LET'S GO JENNIFER", and set up, walk it out, and about halfway up I hear the crowd make a sound as if to say "put some weight on the bar". Three white lights. Second attempt, more confidence, easy, three white lights. I don't say shit to Wade or Aaron. Aaron just keeps telling me to keep everything the same. I'm thinking, what are they gonna call? It feels easy, but DO I HAVE more than 183kgs...can I really hit a lifetime PR on the platform?! Fuck it. They will make the right call. Just do your job. 185.5kgs. An American Record. An unofficial World Record. AND most importantly, a 400lb+ squat in sleeves, a LONG TIME goal of time. I walk out and the crowd is amazing. I hit the pocket, slow down a bit at the slowing down spot, the crowd comes in right on time, and I stand up with it. Three white lights. This may be my most favorite lift I've ever lifted. It was in this moment, that the real Jennifer Millican had made her debut on the powerlifting platform.<br />
<br />
Bench. So, now I am unusually fired up. It's a different kind of fired up than I've felt before. I just hit a lifetime pr, that also happened to be an American Record and an Unofficial World record. TO BE CLEAR, I spent a lot of my lifting 'career' on breaking these sort of records. Like, my entire focus for many years was breaking these records. And the truth is, is that I didn't care at all about them IN THIS MOMENT in time. I just wanted to make attempts. And now, I'm thinking, well damn, what if bench follows suit?! And it turns out it did follow suit. I hit my opener at 100kgs (thank you very much failed attempts at Worlds). We jumped 7.5kgs to my second. My 57kg brain was nervous for this jump so I kept the option open to make the 5kg jump. My 57kg brain had no place in the 63kg weight class. I had hit ~110.5kgs in training. I thought it would be super cool if I hit 110 in the meet. After my second attempt at 107.5kg, Wade came up to me and said "We're gonna do what we came here to do" which I knew meant 112.5kgs. 57kg brain is like 'are we sure?!', the competitor brain is like 'just do your job'. So they load 112.5kg, a number that I told myself I would reach at the beginning of training but also seemed so far out of reach....BUT ALSO I knew I would make it. I knew I could grind if it came down to it, but I also knew I didn't need to based on my 2nd attempt. I didn't need to grind. My third attempt was just like every top end single in training only with more weight on the bar. And when I walk off the platform Wade looks at me at me says, 'that's right mother fucker!'. Now, I have two lifetime pr's under my belt AND I have the highest subtotal going into deads.<br />
<br />
Deads. Deads are more of the same. I know this is where I fall short and I know I've pushed them as far as I can via subtotal. Now, I just need to put together some solid attempts and let the chips fall where they fall. As I mentioned earlier, deads have been lagging just a bit. Not horrible, but a little slower than the rest of my lifts. However, they did seem to show some response my last heavy session and the rest of the meet has me feeling optimistic. Did I feel magic during warm ups for deads? No. After squat and bench I got messages from a couple of my lifting homies. And they both meant a lot to me. They both had the same message. 'Just don't stop pulling!'. So, as far I as I was concerned I had done my job. I had reached the subtotal that I thought was out of reach. I knew going in as a 63kg, it was going to take a nearly perfect day and even after that the pull of a lifetime.<br />
<br />
Third attempt dead.<br />
First, I look at Aaron,<br />
-Do I have time to pee?<br />
-No<br />
-Ok, dammit<br />
Next...Wade comes to me and says<br />
-All I need out of you is the pull of your life<br />
-Ok, the pull of my life, got it<br />
-I tried really hard and I peed everywhere<br />
<br />
It was 202.5kgs and it would have tied me with the total that won. I would have lost on body weight ironically.<br />
<br />
I spent this training cycle leveling up. Now, it's go time. The real Jennifer Millican is here to party.<br />
<br />
As always, huge shout out to ApLyft, SBD, my coaches Aaron Thomas and Wade Johnson, my husband (the real mvp) Michael and all of my Team Ogre teamates and all of my GASOLINE!Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-15152419655919221312018-10-07T11:16:00.000-05:002018-10-07T13:31:00.485-05:00Becoming Friends with The MonstersAs a child, I was the kid who tried too hard. I went all out in P.E. I remembered the quiz no one else did. I actually tried really hard at school projects. Up until about the 6th grade. Then I got the vibe that trying really hard didn't make me "cool". Seeming as if you didn't care made you more popular. As an adult, I can see that my perspective was skewed and that my priorities needed shifting. None of that matters now. The point is, I stuffed my effort down and hid it so my peers would like me more.<br />
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This became who I was. I did enough to get by but never giving any real effort. There was one exception. Sports. I did give every ounce of effort in that arena. That effort is what people would call "heart". I was pretty good too. Some times, not quite good enough. In basketball for instance, I was an incredible defender and was FAST, really fast. However, I was/am 5ft tall and didn't have a great shot. My signature move was to make a steal, make a fast break away from my opponents, be all alone at my basket and miss the lay up. I couldn't take the pressure of making the shot. In the 7th grade I played the entire summer the with school team. Just before the season started, I was cut. It hurt, but I knew it was coming. My coach was great and I think it hurt her more than me. I tried out for the next two years and never did make the team.<br />
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I played softball as well. Softball was my sport. Basketball was really my side gig. I played short stop and nothing could get past me. I would beg my father or brother or grandmother or anyone with a pulse to come outside and throw with me or hit grounders to me incessantly. When that well was dried up I would throw the ball against the house and field the grounder over and over or throw pop flies to myself. Unlike basketball, my offensive game was just as strong as my defensive game. Not only was I fast, but I could hit the ball. I only ever played little league, I never got into serious travel teams or private lessons or anything like that. I made the team when I tried out for high school.<br />
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Playing on the high school team was not the glory I expected. I wasn't used to pitchers who pitched with actual strategy. As a player, I was a little rough around the edges compared to the players who had more experience at higher levels than I. I got A LOT of coaching. Everything about how I threw, my batting stance, how I held the bat, how I slid, was all changed....and the worst change of all, making me bunt. I wish I could tell you that I withstood the pressure and came out one of the best players. But I didn't. I couldn't handle it. I found myself completely overthinking everything I did to the point of paralysis. I was cut my sophomore year. This one did crush me. I was so mad at my coach. I was so mad at myself. I was so mad at my parents.<br />
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Life went on after that. I attempted to come back to no avail. I went on giving a mediocre effort for the rest of my life. Wearing a scarlet letter of one who can't perform under pressure. One who is good but will choke. One who is not coachable.<br />
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Flash forward to 25 year old Jennifer. I was pregnant with my first child. My whole life I thought when I have a baby, I want to have the baby naturally. I don't know why but I just did. So, that was my plan. Well, that is apparently controversial. I don't get it, but everyone's opinion came flooding in about it. Family, friends, strangers, would all tell me horror stories or laugh at me when I told them, medical professionals rolling their eyes, I was quite astounded honestly. And hurt. And stressed out. And felt an immense amount of pressure. I felt myself thinking about who I was and how I fail. How I let people down. How I don't perform under pressure. And I hated that feeling.<br />
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Well, it's a long story, and a story for another time or maybe never, but aside from labor being induced, I was able to have her naturally. And that day, something changed. That day, I believed that I was not a person who always failed. That day, I believed in myself. That day, I trusted myself. That day, I realized that even if something is really, really, really hard, I could still do it. A great catalyst for parenting. I hesitate to use the word empowering because it has become a somewhat cliche buzzword, but in every sense of it's meaning, that day, I truly felt empowered. That day, I felt my true self had finally surfaced (oxytocin is a hell of a hormone).<br />
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This was the first building block in becoming friends with my monsters.<br />
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Flash forward again to 31ish year old Jennifer. My life was in a dark place. I needed to get out. I wasn't sure how but I was really just sick of it. And angry. Really really angry. Mostly at myself and at everyone. I needed to prove to myself that I was still lovable. Somehow, this turned into extreme independence (#poweryourown). I just thought that I would only rely solely on myself and no one else. If I wanted something done I would discuss with no one, ask no one's permission or opinion and just attack it. I also shut out just about everyone in my life. I finally looked inward and stared down every insecurity I had. I took everything that I stuffed down in the 6th grade and slowly began to attack each one.<br />
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I had a not so great record with consistency and commitment. I would often give effort in spurts. Procrastination was my primary motivator. When I cut to 114lb I faced this monster head on. One day during the cut, I decided that no matter what, I was going to stick with the plan. While doing cardio I was thinking about how I had some function coming up that was going to require some effort on my end to stick to the diet. At first, I began rationalizing. I would only eat one thing off the plan. I would only drink one beer and cut carbs from here or there. I would eat dessert but do extra cardio later. Then I was finally like, fuck it. I'm going to stick to the plan and make it work. NO MATTER WHAT. And I did. And I was successful. Another building block. Another monster that I became friends with.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEn_rdDcz3Xyfeat0k338SUxQ8naPTJnVzgZjYrBgNsCHbEl_ugGX-KERJkR9dD89qmkodYT0eDUuOTJ_NxLpQ9VJmZhTJw5_UychmBKL3_7k24CtQG7ekqM7Z8216b9c0S3goi6iGlTQ/s1600/114+before+and+after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEn_rdDcz3Xyfeat0k338SUxQ8naPTJnVzgZjYrBgNsCHbEl_ugGX-KERJkR9dD89qmkodYT0eDUuOTJ_NxLpQ9VJmZhTJw5_UychmBKL3_7k24CtQG7ekqM7Z8216b9c0S3goi6iGlTQ/s320/114+before+and+after.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, I made the commitment to making the cut. I consistently stuck with the nutrition and training no matter what. I felt confident. When I made this cut, I was going after an all time total record in wraps. While doing cardio (where I do all of my profound thinking), I would think about attempts. I would see myself going to the bar for the attempts. Then I would get so scared. I would feel so nervous that I would shut my thoughts down. I would move on to thinking about something else because it felt too scary. It showed come meet day. I cut my third squat high. The weight moved so fast and so easy. Without a third squat, the total was out of range. I beat myself. I was poised to break that record. I was strong enough. I let disbelief beat me. I was so angry at myself but also so hungry for redemption.<br />
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For my next meet, I made a deal with my online coach that I would do a USAPL meet if one popped up close to me. Well, one did. So I kept my word and began training for the meet. Now, I was just red lighted in an SPF meet for squats. I told one of my training partners that I was going to do a USAPL meet and he said "what if you bomb?", I said, fear is not the master of my sea. But I was scared. I've been asked what I did to start squatting deeper and honestly I didn't do anything. I just started squatting deeper. Every time I had a bar on my back, I would cue myself, "as deep as you can every rep". I was a little stressed about my depth every training session but I just kept squatting as deep as I could every time. Because this meet wasn't "serious" and just to appease my coach, I didn't bother looking at any records. This was the first meet I had done without wraps. My mind just wasn't in the space of crushing any numbers or anything like that. Until my squat starting taking off. I started getting excited. I looked at the records. I had a really solid chance at a squat record and a total record. Just about as soon as I realized that, my arm quit working. My right arm just gave out. On bench, anything above 150lbs or so and<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/-14_vJtO6Y/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet"> my right arm quit</a>.<br />
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Well, here I was again, poised to take some records. And poof, just like that, it was gone. My bench took a 50lb hit. Now, I could have quit. I could have said, I'll get em next time when I'm healthy. But I couldn't. I had come too far. I was too invested. I gave too much. Because I had become friends with that commitment monster, I still planned to do the meet. But I let go of the records. I let go of any number at all. I let go of my ego. I went to the meet with only my husband. The lightest I've ever rolled into a meet. I didn't know anything about the USAPL or the meet I was doing. I expected maybe 40-50 lifters. There were 300. We had no idea what we were doing.<br />
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Choosing attempts that day, I just went with what I thought I could make. Nothing was really planned other than openers. I went 7/9. I totaled far under what I thought I would. But I did what I was capable of THAT DAY. I accepted that. I had fun. Still the one of the most enjoyable meets I've ever done. I made 9 white lights on squat. I took an unofficial American squat record. I won best lifter. That day, I became friends with the monster called ego and a sprinkle of redemption.<br />
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Next meet. Healthy meet. With wraps. Time to crush shit. I took all my monsters by their hand and carried them with me. I took them all with me through the entire next training cycle. We went to the meet. We crushed it. We did the Women's Pro/Am. I was poised to take some records again. Except this time, I wasn't worried about them. If they were there, they were there and we'd take them. If they weren't, we'd take what we had. I took the all time squat record (at the time) at 123lb and was 15lbs shy of the total record. I went 8/9. I won best raw lifter. The spark I felt that day when I had my daughter returned. I added self doubt to the monsters I was friends with.<br />
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From here, I went on to do raw nationals. I felt extremely confident. I thrived on the fact that no one really knew who I was. I thrived on the idea that they thought my bench was what it was with a dead arm. This meet was just about getting a job done. A job that was required to achieve the ultimate goal of becoming an IPF World Champ. I got the job done and won the 57kg weight class. I went 8/9. I took the American squat and total record. I won best female lifter. The competitor that I knew existed within me began to break through. That day, I executed. I became friends with that monster.<br />
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Next meet was The Arnold. I regressed a little here. I reverted back to my old ways of chasing numbers and records. That's ok, it was right on time. I learned again that winning isn't about records or arbitrary numbers. Winning is about execution. Winning is about stacking up attempts and ego has no place.<br />
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So now, I begin training for THE MEET. I began training for IPF Worlds. Everything that I ever stuffed down was out in full force. If there was a component to my success that I could control, I had complete control of it. Training, nutrition, sleep, what I posted, what I didn't post, strategy, anything and everything that I could control, I did. And I did with precision.<br />
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There was one monster left. Self belief. I found myself again, doing cardio, thinking about the meet. Thinking about winning. I was scared. I felt nervous. Questioning my capabilities. Who I am to be great at something? I fail. I get so close to accomplishing something and choke. I don't travel well. What if I bomb? I never make third bench attempts. Being great is not who I am. It's who other people are. People who are just born great. That's not me.<br />
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Only this time, I went head on with these thoughts. Instead of distracting myself or ignoring these thoughts, I challenged every single one. I thought about who I was and what I had done. Instead of dwelling on my shortcomings, I embraced my successes. I began to control my thoughts I refused to think poorly of myself. I refused to have negative self talk. I refused to settle for mediocrity. I would see myself standing on the podium and felt the feeling of nervousness, and pressure. I let it wash over me. I allowed myself to embrace the idea of being the best at something.<br />
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Cardio became a sacred time. I would let my thoughts be free and when they began to go down the path of self doubt, like a good friend, I would guide them off that path. I would say to myself, "my name is Jennifer Millican, and I am an IPF World Champion". I felt nervous even saying it in my mind. But I just kept at it. I kept guiding myself into believing that I was capable of greatness.<br />
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I was driving. Again, feeling overwhelmed with pressure and nervousness to win. Then, I did something that seemed so silly. It felt so uncomfortable and took a few tries. But eventually, I said it out loud. At first quiet, and mouse like. By the time I reached my destination, I was saying in a commanding, stern tone, "MY NAME IS JENNIFER MILLICAN AND I AM AN IPF WORLD CHAMPION". It was in this moment that I became friends with the monster of self belief.<br />
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I went on to IPF Worlds. And I did it. I won. I won my weight class. I took the world record squat and world record total. I won best overall female lifter. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BVpHZrAn-BY/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet">I believed that I could be great</a>. I became friends with my greatest monster, myself. I revealed who I buried in the 6th grade. I've never felt more humbled in my life.<br />
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There are ebbs and flows in life. That was a definite high. I often feel sad it's over. That type of self discovery is immeasurable. Though, I'm positive there are plenty of challenges ahead and while at times I feel as though I have conquered all my monsters, I have no doubt there are still more lingering in the darkness. I say, bring it on.<br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-64062025290655247502018-07-04T13:36:00.000-05:002018-07-04T13:36:05.565-05:00#3strengthsports and what it means to me<br />
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Let’s just say when it comes to social media, I am a bit
behind the curve. My son, Wes, actually created my Myspace page back in the day
and helped me learn how to use it. I got Facebook many years later and it’s
probably only been the last couple of years that I have an Instagram account
and now have one for the gym and the gym dogs. I have had to have help from
Cory Jean, Jenn and Missy to figure out how it works. I have only in the last
year started using hashtags. I only bring this up to explain the title and take
you along a little ride where 3 strength sports came to be. Now, I use the
hashtags to get like minded people to see our videos and to promote the gym.
From there, I have no clue and I’m really ok with that. But first, a rewind…let
me take you back to how this came to be and hopefully, it illustrates the
pathway and how my mind works and how my goals were set. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When I was a kid, you would see bodybuilding and then
powerlifting on TV. It’s how I learned who Larry Pacifico and Kaz was. I
remember seeing them on TV in powerlifting and then Larry commentating and Kaz
on WSM. My Dad always enjoy watching Alekseyev in weightlifting so, my
influence was very broad. Music was the same and I’ve always liked having that
broad base to draw from. Growing up, with music, my Dad loved Hee Haw and that
was where I learned about country music. It was years later, I was on tour with
a band and got to do a show and meet Buck Owens. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On mornings I wasn’t in school, Don Ho had a
tv show. I can’t recall the theme or what time or even what it was called but,
I saw him sing Tiny Bubbles on tv. Years later, I played the Don Ho theater and
got to see him sing it live. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Mom was
a big American Band stand fan and so was I It is where I got to see and hear
all the new and current pop bands. I always love Soul Train and it hurt my soul
when Don Cornelius passed. TO me, he was so cool and I was very influenced by
R&B and the such. This gives you a picture of how broad-based music was for
me and that just scratches the surface. I tell you this to help you understand
my though processes and how I operate. I pull from as many sources I can learn
from and find influence and inspiration. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As a kid, I was always amazed by size and strength and has
influenced me to be as big and as strong as I can be. The nick names have been
earned through out the years. Seeing bodybuilding, powerliflting, weightlifting
and strongman made me always want to try it. I spent most of my early years and
early adult life pursuing my music career and I was very lucky to travel,
create and record music and be published. The passion I had for music
eventually went back to strength and I found powerlifting again. It’s always
been my home for strength and the back bone of what I currently do. That said,
I have always been interested in and have trained the Olympic lifts and dabbled
in strongman. I made up my mind that I would eventually compete in both sports.
Many years ago, Wes and I drove to West TN and did a strongman practice. Back
in those days, no one had implements. You would have to drive somewhere to a
gym or competitor that owned them and they were very hard to come by. I
remember Willie Wessells trying to convince me that the log clean and press was
like the weightlifting he had seen me do…I was a fish out of water. Hand over
had I was seemingly good at but, I am terrible now. I did some medley work and
even flipped a car. It wasn’t long after a pal of mine Hunter Allen had some
implements and we’d train locally when I could. I finally competed, I believe,
in 2004 at the Music City strongman. Wes and I competed in the amateur
division. I can’t recall how many competitors there were but, Wes placed 4<sup>th</sup>
overall in the heavy weights as they combined teens, masters and open amateurs.
I was lucky enough to win. This is also where I met Clint Darden who tried to
convince me to pursue the sport at the pro level. Powerlifting was home for me
but, this put the thought in my head that when I achieved my goals in
powerlifting, I wanted to come back and try it again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I eventually achieved what I set out to do in powerlifting I
had broken the 1,000 lb barrier int eh squat, benched 700 and deadlifted 700
and totaled 2,400. While I am likely never to be done powerlifting, I set out
to achieve some new goals. In 2012 I competed in my first 2 weightlifting
meets. I honestly can’t recall what I lifted but, I enjoyed it and thought I
eventually get around to trying to do a national meet. When Missy and I decided
that she liked me, we would do training dates. She wanted to do weightlifting
as well so, we’d train together and eventually, she did her first meet in 2014.
We both did 3 meets together in 2015. I was able to win gold at nationals,
silver at Pan-Ams and Gold at the World cup. I considered that job completed
and went back to training powerlifting full time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My first ever online training client, Thad Forehand, hired
me to coach him in powerlifting. We had a string of successful meets with his
last 2 meets going 9-9 and I was excited to see what would happen next as he
had made great progress and that’s when he said, I wanna go back to
strongman…in so many words. So, he kept me on as coach and we have had a long
and successful run. In 2016, he competed in Louisville at the USS masters
strongman nationals. So, Missy and I drove up and spent the weekend and watched
and coached and I was like, hey, I could do this…Missy did as well. So, the
following year I drove out to Clayton, NC where Thad and I competed together
and both qualified for nationals in Detroit. I started training for nationals
December and trained hard and was ready…about 2 weeks out, after training 6
months, we got the notice that Jenn’s start time had changed for her
powerlifting meet…see, she was competing in the IPF worlds and that meet took
place in Belarus. Let’s just say getting there and back again is harder than it
might seem. The time change meant I couldn’t leave on Thursday after she
competed and would have to leave the next morning. Longer story short, it meant
I wouldn’t be able to compete as I couldn’t be there during the scheduled weigh
in times. So, after Jenn won worlds, I flew back, which was a crazy trip from
Belarus to Warsaw, where I was delayed and then to Chicago where it flew off
the rails and they changed my gate as I got the one I was told where it was and
ran back and missed the flight by 2 minutes. They were going to put me in a
hotel and could fly me out at about 10:30 am the next day…so, I spent the night
in the airport, flew out on another airline the next morning at 5 and Thad’s
lovely wife Lisa, scooped me up in Detroit and I got to coach Thad and Missy
that day. while it was a disappointment not to get to compete, I’d trade that
100 times over to get to coach and watch Jenn when her first IPF world title.
It was a lot of training and I needed an outlet so, I competed in a USAPL
qualifier and finished the year competing at Classic nationals later that year.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Earlier this year, Missy and I traveled to Kentucky and
competed in Lee Woody’s contest to qualify for nationals again. Missy killed it
and I struggled but, managed to qualify which, that was really the only goal. I
was undertrained and not really prepared. For me, life is pretty busy these
days and I’m blessed and grateful for it. It leaves the tank a little empty and
motivation not where it needs to be to train and be fully prepared. Getting
ready for nationals was no different. When I competed at USAPL nationals, I
figured I had done it and checked it off the list. I was wrong. I got notified
that I had earned an alternate spot on the M2 world team and trained as if I
was lifting until I was released. Prep for strongman nationals was medium to
say the least. But, I worked at it. Events were to be circus dumbbell clean and
press for reps, car deadlift, medley of tire flip and sled drag, arm over arm
with a panel truck weighted and stones. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Briefly, I have owned a circus dumbbell for some time but,
would only occasionally get it out and press it. We got Missy one as well. I
got to where I could do a rep with the contest weight of 140 and thought, well,
at least I won’t zero the event and can score a point. Car deadlift I felt
decent about. I do a lot of block pulls for training and we have a pal, Bull at
Jut Be Fit, that has the implement. I thought I might be a threat for a win in
this event. I have tired and sleds and trained but, I wasn’t sure how that
event would go. I’m a big boy and honestly, did not put in enough time training
cardio or moving events. Hand over hand is tough as we need help to do it and
my drive way is not conducive. We’ve done it a few times with our vehicles but,
this was one I just didn’t want to zero. And stones would finish up and I hate
stones. I am terrible at them. So, that meant, I rarely trained them….most
times, Saturday is when I can train them and I have a crew that trains in the
morning and by the time I’m done at that time of the week, I am cooked. I did
train the event but, not near enough to even b e a threat. I was hoping not to
zero. Call it ego, call it whatever you like but, I have always felt like getting
a national title in strongman, even if at 50+, would be quite the feather in my
cap. Hence, 3 strength sports. I want the folks that choose me to coach them
and handle them feel like I have the experience and that I know what I’m doing
and all the things that go along with that. And to be honest, I want to win and
see how I match up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, it is finally contest day but wait, another rewind.
Missy and I plan our trip way in advance. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are going to fly out at 2 pom and get there
even before Thad and Lisa and we will eat and be merry. That morning, lots of
bad storms and we thought we’d be delayed. Eventually, we were but only by 30
minutes. We get the call to board, we get seated and locked in and about the
time I get buckled in, we are called to get off the plane. We are being delayed
due to bad weather in New York. Long story short, it’s about 10:30 when we
land, not 7:30. We take a shuttle to another shuttle to get us to a car rental
and then drive from LaGuardia to White Plains and it’s midnight by the time we
get checked in and thank God for late hour pizza places. Those are the things
that can derail you and Missy and I seemed to take it in stride so back to
finally it’s contest day and as per usual, I am ill as a hornet. I don’t know
why it is. Most meet days, I no longer want to do it. I have trained, and I’m
tired and I’m old and all the reasons and the anxiety of getting to the meet
site and so forth makes me, say, pretty grumpy. Once I get into the flow of
warming up, I’m good but, up until that point not so much. That morning was no
exception. Once we get there, Thad, Missy and I go our separate ways and find
our stations. I only see them occasionally during the day. There are 391
athletes and then probably 100+ staff so, it’s crowded and hectic and busy. I
met my competitors Mike and Mel and as per usual in the strength world, by the
time we’ve sat there for 5 minutes, we’re pals and in short, cheer each other
along and encourage and push each other. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Event 1 was circus dumbbell clean and press. Our contest
weight was 140 lbs. Initially, it was to be a 2” handle which is what my
dumbbell in the gym was. That worked out well as I already owned it. The rules
were clean with two hands, steady it, press with one hand, show control and get
the down command and then you couldn’t drop it, you had to control it down,
touch the ground with it and then go back up. When we got there it was a 3”
handle and that was a mess for all 3 of us. It’s just how it goes in strongman.
Sometimes changes occur and they are unannounced and you have to adjust on the
fly. Mike and Mel struggled with this and couldn’t get a rep and that worked
out well for me. I only needed one rep. It was awkward in warm ups and I did
the empty dumbbell a few times, then 120 a couple of times to get the feel. I
did manage the rep I needed to win the event and stopped there. There was no
need in more. That put me ahead 3-0-0 and that would prove the difference on
this day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Event 2 was the car deadlift. The pick height was 14” with
the bar in front and not the side. We trained with the implement twice during
the cycle so, I felt I could get reps at the contest. I had pulled Missy’s
Xterra motor end loaded for reps so I was feeling confident. I have no idea
what the weight was as we had a car. I did 2 reps to warm beltless and felt
great. Mike pulled 6 reps, Mel 9…so, I needed 10. They gave me a count and once
I reached 10, I stopped and took the points. It was 6-2-1. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Event 3 was tire flip and sled drag. I had really trained
the flip and felt confident. I had dragged the sled on our gravel driveway with
several hundred pounds but, this is strongman and things happen. Mike and Mel
finished the event so I knew I would have to have a good time to win. The
initial flip was great and when I went for the 2<sup>nd</sup>, my hands slipped
completely and I injured my hand. I just got a bad flip and had a smooth area.
I managed to flip it and then the 3<sup>rd</sup> flip went well and then again,
bad grip area and I had to grip from the side to get any grip. I had to stand
it up and then run to the sled. I knew at this point I couldn’t beat the times
from the guys so I stopped and conserved energy. We got the announcement that
we had to complete the tire flip portion to not zero so, once that was secure,
I took the point and moved on. Now it was 7 me, Mel 5 and Mike 2. I new this
could get tight as I am terrible at hand over hand. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Event 4 was hand over hand. This was to be a 2” rope and
turned out to be 3”. At this point, my right hand is throbbing and I’m
concerned. Mike almost finished the pull, then Mel did finish but, I knew the y
had worked really hard and that it might play in my favor. When I stated the
event and I wasn’t going nearly as fast, I stopped to give my hand a break and
hopefully recover for stones. It proved to play out in my favor. Score was me
8, Mel 8 and Mike 4. I knew I had 2<sup>nd</sup> but, could I pull the win off.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last and event 5 was the stones. I am not a fan. Tacky and
clothes covered in tacky and ultimately, I’m not very good at them. We were
reportedly going to start with a 250 so I knew I could load that but, as things
happen in strongman, they changed the weights. So, we started with a 275. Mike
went first and loaded the 1<sup>st</sup> and 2<sup>nd</sup> which I believe was
a 300. Mel is tall, so I figured he’d load the 275 quickly and we would see
what he had left for the 300. As I stated previously, Mel worked really hard to
finish the 2 prior events. He could pick up the stone but simply couldn’t get
it over the lip to finish the load and got a zero. I was shocked. So, that
meant, if I could load the 275, I would win. Now, let me say, the biggest stone
I have loaded in 2 years doing this has been a 250 because I won one and can’t
seem to load the 300. I was less than confident, and the stones were covered in
tacky and while that may seem like a good thing, it can make the stone slick,
so to speak. When I was given the start command, I couldn’t grip the stone, I
had to move it around and missed picking it up twice. The stone didn’t feel
heavy I just couldn’t get a grip. I gave it a slight spin and boom, grip and I
pulled it up to lap it. I took my time after watching Mel not being able to get
it over the lip and knew I had to have it rolled in high and tight. Once I got
it where I felt good about it, I shot my hips forward as I stood up and loaded
it easily and walked away. My first strongman national title. I am not ashamed to
say that I waited till my 50’s to get there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Me, Missy and Thad represented Team Ogre well. I was a proud
coach. Missy fought through injury to finish and still had a chance all the way
through and really, that’s all you can ask for. She showed grit fighting
through frustration and disappointment and simply gutted it out with an injury
she will have to overcome as she gets ready for women’s worlds. Thad didn’t
place as well as hoped but, had a great training cycle. We had to overcome some
tweaks and injuries and he did just that. NO zeros on any events, which was a
huge goal and walked out of there with no injuries and once you are a master
aged athlete, you understand how big of a deal that is. I couldn’t be prouder
of them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We spent the rest of our time sightseeing, something I never
do and Thad and I got to catch up on some bourbon sampling. It is always good
to hang out with him and his wife Lisa and got to visit with Kemal and his
great kids. Saw lots of old pals and made some new ones. And in this sport at
this point in my life, I couldn’t ask for more. <o:p></o:p></div>
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What’s next? Where do I go from here? I’d like to get in a
single ply shirt and try USAPL bench nationals. October is Class nationals and
this year, I will forgo competing and coach. From there, I am exploring what’s
out there. I have spent a lot of time while writing this, talking to people I
know in the Highland Games arena. Now, I don’t think I scan simply get a few
implements and go win another title but, my goals are to try, to push myself as
an athlete even though I’m old and to be an example to our team and our gym. If
I can, anyone can. To show the team that the coach is always trying to expand
horizons, learn and practice what I preach. I want to be as strong as I can for
as long as I can. I want to prove that whatever limitations I may face now that
I’m over 50, that I can still push the boundaries and I can still try new
things and learn. This makes me a better coach and more, a good example. Will
it ever be #4strengthsports? Time will tell but, I am looking into it, looking
into events for next year’s strongman nationals and should train in a bench
shirt this weekend. For today, I have won a national contest in 3 strength
sports and so for now, I’m going to enjoy that. Something I couldn’t always do,
simply enjoy the work and the results, come what may. Let me also say that this doesn't make me special or any kind of badass. I could have just as easily not been able to finish. I am truly blessed and also very lucky. But, just for the moment, for me, this one was special. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Thanks for indulging me and reading this. I’m sure it’s not
near as riveting for you as it was for me writing it but, I hope it gives you
perspective into the mindset of someone that does this sort of stuff. I don’t
want to, I need to. Thanks to all the team online and home for watching out for
one another and keeping things going. I couldn’t do this without the help and
support and more, thanks for believing in me both as an athlete and more, as a
coach and believing in the things taught. It truly is what helps keep me going,
especially on those days I don’t want to move, let alone train. I am truly
humbled and forever grateful. </div>
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So, until the next time I do this, Lift Heavy,
Train Smart & Eat More PIZZA!!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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#theogrecompound #teamogre #3strengthsports<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-51613010464567660882018-06-25T11:14:00.001-05:002018-06-25T11:14:09.626-05:002018 IPF Classic Worlds-The Coach's Perspective<br />
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The last few years for Jenn and I have been a whirlwind.
Some incredible meet results, world travel and pizza in about each location
consumed with beer. We seem to learn something each meet and training cycle and
work to hone our skills along with Aaron Thomas. It’s a really interesting
dynamic that works very well. It’s exceptionally cool for me as I have known
Aaron since he and Wes played football together seemingly a life time ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is much communication and questions and
every time I start a list for the next meet, there is many notes with many
times, a lot of white out and marks along the way. That said, it has worked and
has produced many great results. <o:p></o:p></div>
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However, before we get to this meet in Calgary, 2018 IPF
Classic Worlds, it’s best to rewind a bit. There has been back and forth with
Jenn about staying 57 or moving up to 63. It’s gone back and forth, been
discussed, discussed some more and about every time I think we’ve decided,
we’re back and forth again. Long story short, she decided to do 57 at
nationals…again, I’m going to rewind some more. All the meets I have been part
of with Jenn have been great meets. She continues to learn, as we all do, and
she continues to improve. I’ve written about it before. Women’s pro/am, wins
class, best lifter. On to 2016 USA powerlifting nationals, Atlanta. Wins her
class, which I fully expected. Then goes on to win best lifter! I didn’t expect
that. It’s not an issue of doubt, it’s just that’s so much to ask. It’s really
hard and there were amazing lifters yet, there Shorty went and won it all,
again. We go to the Arnold, very confident and we both didn’t follow through
but, she gets 2<sup>nd</sup>, and we knew where we made mistakes and trust me,
we talked about it for seemingly ever to make sure we didn’t make those
mistakes again. The Belarus at worlds. I was very confident. Again, I expected
she would win, planned for her win, was there for almost every session along
the way. I knew she could and would win her class and then there she went
again, best lifter. The build up here is it is a career year. Yeah, coulda
woulda shoulda at the Arnold…all those ladies there were badasses and so every
meet, you must be 100% on point and we weren’t. But, everything else was lined
up and executed and winning the meet overall happened as well. It’s really
impossible to ask for more. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I should also add, Jenn asked me about my no bullshit
thoughts on her staying 57 or going 63. Now, keep in mind, after Belarus was
done, she wanted to go 63…I can’t speak for Aaron but, I thought the turnaround
was too quick given she was going to gone and out of the gym so much. I didn’t
think it was a good idea. So, when she asked me, I told her, it was up to her
but, my opinion, was to stay 57 and become iconic. Yes, I think the 57’s are
loaded and there is much up and coming talent but, I still feel that Jenn is
the best 57 in the world and if she’s on, no one can beat her. I feel like
she’s proven that and that it’s not a glitch or fluke or a first time lucky
shot. If the results from this meet don’t prove it, nothing will. Of course, in
true Jenn fashion she questioned everything I said in the statement. It’s just
the way it is for her and I. Now, I will admit, it’s easy for me to say that. I
don’t have to lift her weights and more, I don’t have to make that stupid
weight cut. At this point, and you’ll read, you can see why I’ve let up on my
original statement and feel 63 is time. I stand by my original statement but,
if this is what she wants and given what the cut takes out of her, I’m for it
and will do my part. Also, this is where she and I are once again very alike. I
got to the point where I had won some meets, hit some records but knew, if I
wanted to achieve my goals, I needed to move up a class. I felt like I had
something to prove and wanted to see where the added weight took me. I had made
cuts to make 308, nothing dramatic but, I wanted to just train, eat and see
what the lifts turned into. The rest is history. I completely understand the
need and want to move up. This year, the timing just seems a little better…at
least I feel better about it…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Going into the 2018 world season if you will, was filled
with expectations. And now here is the catch. Expectations are necessary. They
are needed to create, note I use the world create, to create goals and set up
training cycles and to get everyone’s mind wrapped around what is to come and
what we must do to make those expected results. Back to the catch, expectations
are the seeds to frustration as well. Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean
I expected less or I’m already making excuses. That’s hardly the case. Jenn and
I always talk numbers initially and then put them away for a bit and then they
crank up as we get closer to the meet. Last years nationals, this year’s Arnold
and worlds were no exception. This builds up to what we’ve faced the last 5
months. I am the conservative one, Aaron is the scary one and Jenn leans
towards scary. It’s not fear it’s just always my approach. I’m looking at sure
things and they are much broader minded than I. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jennifer is someone that loves this sport and more, more
than competing, loves to prepare and this is why she is a world champion. It’s
not just showing up to train every day and being consistent. It’s eating right
doing the walking and cardio to manage pain, weight and everything else. The
studying and hundreds of chats each cycle going over things, asking my opinion
and then busting my chops challenging everything I say. See, no matter what,
regardless of past results, we are pushing, and we have to prove it day in and
day out. But, this is the mindset and formula of a world champion. I came up
with a saying for her, to be all time you have to be all time all of the time.
Sounds cool…yeah, but, it’s hard to live with expectation and while she flew
under the radar of her career best year…this time, you could and everyone else
could, see her coming and, expectations were high. <o:p></o:p></div>
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At last year’s nationals, Jenn made the decision to go 57.
There was talk about how to go to worlds as a 63 so, the plan was set. Jenn
goes over this a bit in her blog so, I’ll move on here. Now, she will disagree
with me but, I feel like the weight cuts are starting to have a negative
effect. Here is why I say this. Jenn has been training at our gym now for a bit
over 4 years. She’s always been a 123 or 57 depending on where she lifted save
for the one time she and AT decided it was a great idea to cut to 114, one of
the many reasons why I drink but, that’s a story for another time…anyway, she’s
been a 123/125 lifter her entire time here. I have witnessed in that time how
her body has changed. She is much denser now and heavily muscled. She was in
great shape when she arrived here but now, she’s even more so. It makes it more
difficult to cut as now she must lose muscle to get to the weight class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In her time here, she is always training and
prepping for a meet and that always culminates with a cut. And sometimes, the
cut is long and each time it becomes a bit more arduous. It is not just hey,
cut a few things out of the food plan and do a water cut and we’re all good it’s
quite the process and it has to be wearing. In fact, it is. SO, finally, at
nationals. I see the effect. You can see it in her eyes and in her size, or
lack thereof. It’s not a bad meet but, I notice then she has a bit of a
struggle with her last squat. Like the low end strength is having a hard time
revealing itself. The end results isn’t a bad one. She goes 8-9 and has a new
American record pull. She easily wins her class but, is knocked out of best
lifter by a few 100<sup>th</sup>’s. 2<sup>nd</sup> overall, not bad but,
certainly not like the year before. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For the Arnold, Jenn had decided to lift as a 63. It’s a
risk…she likes risk…me, not so much. But, she is going 63 and then finds out
that she can go to worlds only as a 57 so, starts a little bit of a cut, to get
to 60 which makes her wilkes score drop. She and many others can explain it
much better than I can but yes, 3 kg has a huge impact on your score. The meet
is pretty good. Not quite the planned numbers but, an 8-9 day and I called for
a 200kg pull to finish in the money,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in
any other meet, I would have called 195 and she would have pulled that. Now,
back up a little. Just prior to the Arnold, say 4 weeks, Jenn comes in and has
a mark on her face. Not like she got hit but, like a little rash or spot, I
dunno but, it’s there. She has written about her Shingles episodes. The thing
is, this has likely been underlying for some time. Long story short, this
really takes it out of her and starts the journey of dealing with this challenge.
The long and short of it is, this is something she had been dealing with since
early February, if not longer. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The training cycle for worlds was difficult. As she wrote,
one deadlift sessions, she missed a pull and simply packed up and left. I
figured she was just pissed but, she never just packs and leave. I’ve seen her
cry, I’ve seen her get mad and struggle and we’ve even had arguments but, she
never packs up and leaves. I get a message from her I’d say roughly 2 pm later
that day. She is apologizing for leaving and tells me she just woke up….that’s
when I knew this was a bigger issue then just a skin irritation and feeling a
little played out. The problem is, these things take time to get over and get
back to 100% and this cycle, her body was not going to cooperate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gets passed the initial Shingles then
almost immediately a cold and then Shingles are back. All this is going on
while she is training to defend her title and it’s not going according to plan.
Basically, this lingers until 3-4 weeks out. Jenn, not unlike myself, feels
like when you are better, you feel better and ready to be 100%. I can certainly
appreciate and operate in the same manner but, it just isn’t going that way.
Many times it seemed she felt good enough but, the body wasn’t responding.
Plain and simple, she was sicker than any of us knew and simply, were willing
to accept. The picture I’m painting here is Jenn was never fully well the
entire training cycle. She fought through and while she had big expectations,
they were adjusted to what we thought were realistic numbers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was an alternate on the master’s world team and decided
I’d go up as if I was lifting. I wanted to see Beau Moore kill all the world
records, see everyone and do some scouting. I knew I’d be meeting Aplyft and
Aaron earlier in the week and it gave me some time to catch up on rest,
programming and be prepared for the scouting and meetings I wanted to do. Jenn
arrived Tuesday night and she was like 11 lbs. over. When she told me I played
it off but, in my head I was like WTF!? If you’ve read Jenn’s meet recap, you
see how the cut went and Jenn made weight. Conversation’s with Aaron and I
planned on what to expect and we both knew that we could be rolling the dice
with what was to come. The long training cycle and issues had taken a toll both
mentally and physically, now the weight cut, which was completely different
than the previous year. This could be a dog fight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And, we called it right…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Squat warm ups were going along and 2<sup>nd</sup> to last I
believe, both SiouxZ and I feel like Jenn is cutting depth. It’s not bad but, I
have watched judging for a week and they are calling it tough. I saw what I
thought was good lifts in the pocket get turned down. SO, I knew we would have
to be on point. I told her I needed a bit more depth. She does her last warm
up…it doesn’t look great. Keep in mind, we have a gold standard. Jenn is the
current world record holder so we expect that everything is going to be
pristine but, it is not. It’s all good and I’m my reassuring coach self and
say, we’re good, you’re good. Opener comes and Matt Gary and I look at each
other and think, this may get reds from the side It’s just not the convincing
depth we are accustomed to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gets it
2-1 and she’s in and the battle and the day to come, it begins. 2<sup>nd</sup>
attempt, Jenn comes out, pick is not great and she labors to get in position.
Just when I think she is going to get the squat command, she reracks it and
sets back up. Time is short, we are both confident she’s fine. She has a decent
pick, sets up, gets the squat command buzzer goes off and Jenn hears from
somewhere, “time” and she racks it…we were completely caught off-guard. It’s
not something I ever thought to talk about, none of us did. That falls on me.
Only ever listen to the head judge. It was very confusing and just like that,
no 2<sup>nd</sup> attempt. Jenn is in back, we’ve already called to repeat and
she is apologizing. She is running through the events and I simply say, only
ever listen to the head judge. Now, it’s done, focus on the next attempt. Get
it and we’re good, you’re good. It’s not a mistake she will ever make again and
it just goes to show you, you can prepare and think you have everything covered
and that you are experienced and something will come up and bite you square in
the ass. But, it’s one attempt and while precious it isn’t a breaking point.
Everything is about composure and that was our focus word last year. Focus
word, I didn’t have one this time. I always have one. I always have a saying…am
I slipping? Am I failing Jenn? I have nothing new for her. I put that aside as
she has her 3<sup>rd</sup> attempt and just like a champion does, she goes out,
nice pick and best squat of the day. 170 and under what we had expected but, a
lead and I’ll take that going into the bench. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Bench warm ups seem much better. Last warm up is 90kg and it
looks fine. Opener of 95 is not as good as hoped and even Matt suggested 97.5.
SiouxZ and I thought 100 would be more than doable. We were wrong. Jenn’s
opener she touched a bit high, so I told her so as to make sure we got the
right bar path and touch point. This time, she touches low and grinds and about
2/3 of the way up it stops. We repeat and it’s the same, she’s out of gas to
push from the grind of the 2<sup>nd</sup> attempt. She is not happy to say the
least and hurls her wraps in the back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are in a dog fight. That being said, she has gone 6-9 and is leading
by 7.5kg going into the deadlift. She seems to hate the pull and I have always
said, and, we have certainly argued about it that, deadlift is her lift. She’s
the American record holder and when the bar hits the floor, she shines. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the back, it occurs to me that I have a word for Jenn, a
new focus word, thank God. Grace. In most the meets, Jenn is cruising along and
hitting records and amazing lifts. It’s almost easy. Today, it’s hard, none of
those things are happening and I told her, no matter what, handle yourself with
grace and be graceful. In tough moments, how we choose to handle things can
make or break us. And, to Jenn’s credit, this is exactly what she did. Warm ups
look damn near perfect. I am excited. I knew after the last warm up, it’s over
and she will repeat. Opener is 170 and bam, that’s our Jenn and we call for 180
as expected and planned and it is not what we expected and planned. I see the
right knee cave in. She’s about to simply run out of gas. The length of illness
and the rough training cycle and weight cut, have finally caught up. This last
pull will seal it but will be a tough get. Now, we are playing the game to see
if we can get the lifter from Ecuador to show her hand. She’s lighter than Jenn
and has had a great day. Noone is surprised as she was a bronze medalist the
year before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, a tied total means the
gold would be snatched away from Jenn. I honestly felt like the 180 did it but,
another 5 kgs would do the trick. So Matt and I called for 190, let’s see if
they selected enough to tie and win. We were going to hold that until close and
then change to 185. Jenn at this point is done and even comes up to us, and she
never does this, and says just do enough to win…we assured her that we were and
once she went to the back, Matt and I chuckled. I knew she would have to have
all she could muster to get this. Now, you know Jenn pulls this and wins but,
something I had said to Jenn after Belarus was, the hardest things to do once
was to do it twice. Being all time does require you to be all time all of the
time. But, sometimes the pressure of being the best, the expectation of it all,
the tough training cycle while being ill and a crazy weight cut, it catches you
and you have to give what you have. You have to give 100% of what you have to
give that day. Jenn was well under 100% but, gave every ounce and shred of
energy she had in that moment. It was a hard fought lift, it was a hard fought
meet and nothing came easy. In her toughest moment when she wasn’t her best,
she was still the best and handled herself with grace and composure. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Moments like this are defining. Belarus seems magical now.
It was the first one, it all seemed to go as planned even though there were
issues and obstacles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Training went
well, prep went well and our plan worked perfectly. Calgary was basically the
opposite. Typing this and reading it, I am as tense as I can be. As a coach,
this was the toughest yet likely the best coaching job and team job and lifting
job we’ve done. See, what is defining was not all the issues, not the illnesses
and the weight cut and all the things that didn’t cooperate. In spite of all
these things, in a moment that seemed dire, composure and grace come through.
What is defining is with all that, you come through the other side having given
your best and staying the course and showing the heart of a champion. Jenn
embraced the grind and the fight and managed to still come out on top. This was
a win that was super sweet. Despite everything that happened and went wrong,
it’s what went right and was fought through that decided the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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We all went to the back and Jenn is getting congratulated by
all the lifters and coaches. I shake a few hands and go to the back and sit. I
am spent and emotionally, I’m done. I am an emotional coach. I am not Tom
Landry on the side lines who is stoic and everything is water off a ducks back.
IN these 2 IPF world meets, I have done my best to be the example of being composed
and cool as ice. I’d like to think I have done that until the meet was won and
then I can let go a little. Tears flow. It’s done and she wins for the 2<sup>nd</sup>
time. It is truly harder to do it twice than to do it once. This is one that
will be talked about for years to come. It’s quite rewarding to work with
people who you share a passion with. The Gary’s Matt and SiouxZ are a delight
to work with and Matt and I seem like old kindred spirits. It’s just automatic
with us. Aaron and I have such a neat history and he is clearly one of the
brightest people I know. Not only is it great coaching with him, he and I enjoy
talking training and strategy. It’s just a big positive thing and a positive
team. It’s a great joy to me to see it all work so well together regardless of
the circumstances. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jenn and I, once medals were done, took off and had what I
hope is a traditional meal of pizza and beer save, this year we added wings. We
talked about many things and simply enjoyed the moment and company. These are
things I cherish. I couldn’t be more proud and more excited. Every time we all
learn something and it helps to make us better. <o:p></o:p></div>
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What’s next? It looks like Jenn will make her foray into the
63’s and that will be no joke. That class is stacked with great lifters and the
challenge will be great. All I can say is stay tuned. I can promise that we all
will do our very best to put Jenn in the best position possible to as
successful as she can. We know Jenn will work as hard as possible and prepare.
You can count on expectations being high .I can’t wait to see what happens
next!<o:p></o:p></div>
I would be remiss if I didn't thank some people. On my end, Missy ran the gym in my absence and got alot of help from the entire gym family. Grant is here over the most of the summer and stepped up as well. We've had team mates like Jr...Wes Garner, come in early to make sure Missy had a hand off and spots, etc. So, to all of my home team at the Ogre Compound, thanks so much. I couldn't do this without your help and support. Equally, the support I got from Team Ogre online is amazing. I truly appreciate your trust and belief in what we do. To all of the Super Human Radio folks that bought one of my gym t's to help fund this, you helped make this possible. For Jenn, I'm not speaking for her but, in admiration, her husband Michael knocks it out of the park. He is so selfless with all the support and making things happen. I truly admire him. I know the kids missed Jenn and I love those kids to pieces. Jenn's family is so very supportive and I enjoy being with them and amongst them any time that I can. truly, it takes a village. And for any of you that read this that I got to share bourbon with this trip, I hope you enjoyed it and it inspires you to do so again.<br />onward and upward from here.<br />
Until next time, lift heavy, train smart & eat more pizzaBigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-82736521987466944362018-06-23T18:19:00.001-05:002018-06-23T18:26:56.122-05:002018 IPF Worlds Meet RecapI just want it to be over.<br />
These were my thoughts going into this meet. It's negative. And ungrateful. And exactly how I felt.<br />
<br />
I knew after Worlds last year, there would never, in the history of Jennifer Millican be another meet like<a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2017/07/2017-ipf-worlds-recap.html"> 2017 IPF Worlds in Minsk, Belarus</a>. In 2017, I faced some adversity, challengers, and I stepped up. In 2017, I set world records, I went 8/9, I won the weight class and I walked away as best overall lifter in my first international competition. Not to reminisce too much, but I hope I never forget how I felt that day.<br />
<br />
Expectations are a bitch. They are the most necessary double edged sword that I am currently aware of. In some instances, setting and/or having expectations is 100% appropriate. In others, they get in the way. The most difficult part of expectations is that they are made up. Legit. Just made up by our own minds, by society, by a subculture you identify with, by your co-workers, your family, whoever or whatever. Personally, I work hard at managing my own expectations, I work hard to make clear my expectations to my children, to my clients at work, to my husband. So much energy spent around expectations.<br />
<br />
A long time ago, in a land far far away, I went to college. I studied organizational communications. Essentially, I majored in expectations. I learned then the importance of expectations and the influence they can have over your own satisfaction, the roles they play in negotiation tactics, how important it is to understand them when providing a service or product to another person. I believe, where I have stumbled in the past has been one of two "expectation management" flaws.<br />
<br />
One, is that I never voiced my expectations to a soul other than myself, believing somehow, that life would happen just as I had played it out in my mind over and over again. The other, is that I was almost never prepared for more than one scenario (see previous sentence). In college, I did learn those skills. I learned the importance of communicating your expectations BEFORE an event actually takes place. Communicate them with anyone involved. When I take my children to the grocery: "In the grocery store, it is my expectation that you will stay with me, ask my permission before putting something in the cart, and to be patient with me while in the pickle isle." While I believe this is helpful, it's certainly not fool proof. I've had many a melt downs in the pickle isle.<br />
<br />
The other flaw: not preparing for all the scenarios. I've been told I'm arrogant. Maybe so. But probably, just mismanaged expectations. It's one thing to set the expectations, it's another to communicate them (and adjust them when someone you communicated them to shits all over them and you have to start over) but it's another level to be prepared for the expectations to hit the fan (the shit fan). While I believe that I set my own expectations within reason for 2018 IPF Worlds, I also believe, that I was prepared for them to hit the shit fan.<br />
<br />
I'm going to take a few step back here. After 2017 Nationals, I took a risk and decided to go up to the 63's with the hopes of competing at Worlds as a 63. This hinged on all the females offered a spot on the team accepting. I won't bore you with the details, but not everyone accepted, which meant that I had to compete as a 57 at Worlds. Which was fine, because I knew the risk ahead of time, and another person who is fantastic at managing expectations, USA National Team Head Coach, laid it all out for me the moment I finished my last lift at Nationals.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, training up a weight class for the months I was able to was great. We took it slow after Nationals to let some things heal and to ensure we built some momentum. Quite honestly, it was one of the most enjoyable training cycles I've had. I was crushing everything, hitting pr's and enjoying life. Until about 5-6 weeks out from The Arnold. I start feeling weak and very low on energy. I push through and keep waiting for the turn around. One session, I failed a deadlift and I was done. Meaning, my body was done. I left the gym. I DON'T LEAVE THE GYM. I always finish. But I went home. I went home and slept for several hours. This was the beginning of a long road ahead.<br />
<br />
I competed at The Arnold after a shingles diagnosis and round of anti-virals and managed a 472.5kg total. I went 8/9 and did well all things considered. After coming home, I continue my way back down to the 57's in body weight. Shingles come back. Another round of meds. Keep training. Get sick again, not shingles, but a cold. I take the week off because time is on my side. Go back to training, squat, tweak my glute. Take another week off. Get back to training. Feels like shit. Feel the shingles coming on again before heading out of town for my brother in law's wedding. Keep them at bay with yet another round of anti-virals until I return home. They return again as soon as I finish the meds. Go to a new doctor. Doc says it's not shingles, it's a bacteria infection. Take some tests, take some meds, this time antibiotics, start feeling slightly better but not great. Test results come back. Test positive for shingles but not an acute flare up, bacteria infection comes back inconclusive. WTF?? Seriously.<br />
<br />
Training. Going ok, not great, but barely hanging on to my numbers. Except deadlift. Fuck that lift. Body weight is the real bitch. Just not cooperating. I'm beat down. Mentally, physically, beat down. I just want it to be over. At least at this point, whatever I was fighting seems to be staying away finally. And just to top things off, at the tail end of my heavy training I somehow managed upset my rhomboid during a squat which meant I was high bar squatting for the last few weeks of training.<br />
<br />
As a side note, my coaches were paying attention and making adjustments. We increased fat, reduced volume and really did just enough intensity to stay afloat.<br />
<br />
I send a first draft of attempts to my coaches. They say it's conservative and to give it another week. After another week, they agree to what we all agree are conservative attempts.<br />
<br />
Expectations. They can be tough to swallow if you're really honest with yourself. I set my meet day goals up with a minimum goal. A pass/fail grade. For Worlds, it was to win. If I could manage nothing else, I wanted to walk away with the win.<br />
<br />
For the record, I realize that I sound like a brat with a minimum goal of winning a World Title. But please rewind to the lengthy discussion regarding expectations. At the very least, I can expect to win. I believe that I am capable of more, but as a bare minimum, I want the win. However, because of how the training has gone, how I felt, where my body weight was and where it needed to be, I truly felt that we had created a plan that would ensure a 8/9 day. Well, I was wrong.<br />
<br />
As I start the water load, it isn't going bad but not exactly smooth either. Fast forward to flying out. While I am traveling, I keep my water intake up. Way up. I probably drank at least two gallons while flying with a another two already in the tank before I left. And flying was horrible. I am not a good traveler as is. I get motion sickness, I hate sitting on the plane, I'm the worst honestly. Plus, all the nagging annoying tweaks are making it miserable. As I am flying through the air, I am noticing that my rings are beginning to uh, not fit so well. Keep pounding water.<br />
<br />
Finally arrive and make it to my room sometime between 1 and 2am. P.S my Uber driver was legit driving 30 mph and I was LOSING IT. Anywho. For some strange reason, I decide to weigh myself even though I was quite aware that my hands resembled tiny sausages and it's probably not gonna be a number that I can rest easy after seeing. 135lbs (that's 10lbs over for those of you that don't understand my panic) WHAT?! Seriously. WHAT?! Worst idea I've ever had.<br />
<br />
Go to sleep. Sleep very ok. Another thing I'm not too good at while traveling. I'm worse than an infant that just discovered how much it loves it's mother and can't go to sleep because it's scared it will miss out on loving her. I wake up with less than 24 hours until weigh ins at 129 point something lbs. So I dropped some weight over night, but still not where I'm used to being at this stage of the game.<br />
<br />
Aaron tells me 2-3 cups of coffee (thank you sweet baby Jesus) and a light breakfast and then we'll start making calls based on what my weight does. "He's not worried" (lies). Luckily (I think?), my weight did start dropping quickly and end up at weight sometime after Noon (I think?). So I was able to have another meal and little bit of water, which put me back over but not by much (57.3). Aaron wanted me at weight before I went to bed which meant a couple of rounds in a hot bath. My old friend the hot bath....you have not been missed.<br />
<br />
I wake up under at 56.5 or something. Aaron tells me to eat a bag of chips, but honestly, I chickened out even though I was standing on the scale with the chips in my hand and was still under. This is an instance where I did not trust the process. Probably a huge mistake.<br />
<br />
I'm still feeling like I want it to be over. Normally, I'm a little scared at this point with anticipation but also ready to execute. For the first time, since my first couple of meets, I just wanted it to be over. It was not a good feeling.<br />
<br />
I weigh in light. 56.0andsomething. Fuck, is actually what I thought. Too light....this almost never works to my favor. I just want it to be over.<br />
<br />
Warming up, everything felt terrible. Really terrible. I can't get tight, I feel like I'm all over the place. Wade comes to me and tells me I need to be deeper. Fuck. I just want it to be over. Last warm up was slow. I want to drop my opener, but it's too late and I said nothing anyway, somehow believing that I was just being insecure. I was right. I should have spoke up. This is a mistake I won't make again.<br />
<br />
Opener was slow and horrible and felt off on my back. AND I got my first ever red light on a squat since I moved to the USAPL/IPF. Kind of crushed my soul but I'm in the meet. SiouxZ asked me how it felt, I said VERY OK, she agreed. I wanted to tell her to only go up 5kgs, but I didn't. They went up 7.5kgs rather than the planned 10kgs. Second attempt and I am rattled already.<br />
<br />
Unrack, again, feels off on my back and I re-rack. I have never done that. I always, ALWAYS, just make it work. This was also probably a mistake simply because it's not something I'm accustomed to doing. So now I'm working against the clock. Lot's of voices from all over telling me how much time I have, etc. I walk it out (horribly), get the squat command, and think "welp, this feels like shit and I am not sure I am going to be able to dig this out", TIME! I hear the word TIME and think that I don't want to burn the attempt if it's not going on the board so I re-rack it. I was wrong. I thought it was a judge that yelled time but it was someone from the back. I feel horrible. I do not feel like an IPF World Champ at all. I do not feel like a world record holder. I feel like an amateur and like I'm crumbling. <br />
<br />
I feel quite bad in the warm up room and I'm apologizing profusely to anyone that will listen. At this point, I know that I have to have the 3rd attempt but also that my total goal is shot. Going out for the third attempt, I was able to <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2017/11/2017-raw-nationals-flipping-switch.html">flip the switch</a> a bit and actually had a decent walk out. It certainly felt better than any other squat THAT DAY but also the worst 170kgs has felt in at least year. Three white lights and a slight bit of redemption.<br />
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Bench. Ok, going into bench I'm relieved that squats are over but also terrified that my bench will follow suit of not being up to par. Normally when my bench starts going to shit I can't seem to get set up right. During warm ups, my set up actually felt good, a glimmer of hope. Annnd nope. I hit 90kgs as a last warm up and it was the slowest it's been since one of the first times I ever had that weight on the bar. I hit my opener and it looked and felt like a third. Again, I wanted to suggest that we only go up 2.5kgs rather than the planned jump of 5kgs but I said nothing. I thought "I haven't missed 100kgs on the bench in over year, I'll have to dig, but surely I can make it happen". I couldn't. I missed 100kgs for a 2nd and 3rd attempt. This one broke me. On the verge of a break down, I threw my wrist wraps, and left the warm up room.<br />
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Three more attempts and I'm free. Let's get it done. Deadlifts are the easy part of a meet. I come back to the warm up room and just do my best to have a decent attitude for these last few lifts of the meet. Deadlifts have been going terrible. The worst training cycle I've had for deadlifts. The most I touched in training was 187.5kgs and it was a shit show. Just to put things into perspective, 187.5 was my 2nd attempt at The Arnold and it was butter.<br />
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Warm ups feel ok. Not terrible, which is pretty much a step up. Opener is fine. Second attempt (180kgs) moves ok, but did not feel that great. I felt my knee cave which is another thing that hasn't happened since the early early days of lifting. I go straight to the coaching staff because I know it probably looked better than it actually was. This time, I'm speaking up.<br />
<br />
Let's just get it I say. They all turn to me and say, that's exactly what we are going to do, don't worry. But I am quite worried that they will call a 10kg jump and I don't have that regardless of what 180kgs looked like. I said, let's just get it and DO NOT be over confident in me at all. They agree.<br />
<br />
SiouxZ comes to me and says that they all agree that I have 10kgs in me my but they only went 5kgs because that's all I need to win. Perfect, I think. Though I know I'm still gonna have to dig. While I'm waiting to take my last attempt I start to worry that I'm not going to be able to pull of a win. During meets, I never keep up with what's going on as far as placings or anything, I just focus on lifting. I broke. I asked Aaron if I was still going to win....he said yes. I asked if I had to have the last pull, he said yes. I said, I get this pull and I win, for sure? He said yes.<br />
<br />
I go out for this pull and I know it's going to be tough. I call for some hype from the crowd and they delivered. I break it from the floor and it stalls at my knees. All I can think is to keep the bar close to me so I don't start shaking so bad that I get red lighted for downward motion. I lock it out. I know I was shaky and I've gotten turned down on deads before. THREE. WHITE. LIGHTS. It's over.<br />
<br />
IT IS OVER and I managed to keep my title despite such a difficult day.<br />
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All I can ask of myself is to give 100% of what I have in the moment. Even though sometimes the numbers on the bar fluctuate, my effort never will.<br />
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My take aways here are that there are no surprises with Jennifer Millican. My training cycle and meet went hand in hand. For a bit, I thought I might get saved by the taper....twas not the case. I'm not sure how other coach/athletes come up with attempt selections, but I drive the bus. I draft them and get input and we lay out the plan. Come game day, I let my coaches handle it because there is already a plan in place. The mistake I made for this meet was not speaking up about how bad everything actually felt. The good news is that I won't make that mistake again.<br />
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HUGE shout out to Aaron Thomas and Wade Johnson for sticking it out with me for the entire training cycle, coming to Canada, and continuing to be proud of me even on my worst day. I would say, after a meet and training cycle like this, and still managing a gold and a third place overall finish, we have nothing to be ashamed of. We've been working together for four or so years and the best is yet to come. Of course, SiouxZ and Matt Gary being there on the weeks leading up to the meet and on game day, I can't ask for better guidance and communication.<br />
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Also huge thank you to my sponsors for all of their support not only of my own endeavors but of the sport in general, SBD, SBD USA, and Aplyft.<br />
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While this is not how I prefer to go out, that's the last time I'll be called to the platform as 57kg lifter. The party is just getting started. <br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-40025643256236512162018-03-11T13:28:00.001-05:002018-03-11T13:28:20.670-05:002018 Arnold Grand Prix: Old Patterns, New Expectations As I sit down to write this, I have no profound thoughts or huge take aways from the meet. Great opening line right? I decide to read my <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2017/03/for-love-of-game-2017-arnold-grand-prix.html">recap from last year</a> to see if there is any profound differences. To search for inspiration. To find a gem. Truthfully, I feel a lot of the same things I felt then.<br />
<br />
For instance, having feelings of burnout post nationals, gaining weight, having a smooth training cycle up until a few weeks out. Literally, all of the same patterns for this year. One of the key differences in 2017 and 2018 is that I knew before Nationals I was having feelings of burnout and I had a plan on how to deal with those feelings without derailing my training. I had expectations.<br />
<br />
After Nationals last year, because I was new to the USAPL, I knew nothing of The Arnold or the timeline or how huge of a meet it was. 2018, I know I am going to do The Arnold and know in between October and the first weekend in March is a slew of holidays and 20 glorious weeks to hang out with family and friends, to over indulge, to sleep in if I feel like it, to train hungover, to have too many get togethers, to go to too many get togethers, and honestly have fun with training and put a little less pressure myself to be "in the zone". It was lovely. No, I wasn't lazy or missing training, but I was more relaxed than I was during the training cycle for Worlds and certainly fighting this particular mindset less than I was in 2017. Expectations.<br />
<br />
I knew before competing at Nationals that I was going to The Arnold as a 63. I debated going to Nationals as a 63 but ultimately decided I needed more time. Had everything worked like I would have liked, I would be going to Worlds as a 63, but no dice there this year. As a disclaimer, this was a bit strategic on my part as at the National level, the 63's are extremely competitive and I know I need longer than 12 weeks to make the transition. This was my attempt at making the transition without having to take a year off from competing at Worlds but it is not to be this year.<br />
<br />
All of this to say, in 2017 I was bringing it down to the wire to make weight as a 57 and I feel as though that had a big impact on my meet day performance. This year, obviously not a factor. This year, I knew I wasn't even going to look at a nutrition plan until January. A much needed break!<br />
<br />
A couple of other strategies at hand were taking the ramp up to heavy ass shit slow. Lots of high bar squats, took the arch out on bench, and pulled sumo with the intention of taking it all the way to the meet. I really enjoyed this and so did my body.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to heavy training. Things are going really well. MY BENCH! My bench was finally moving and I was PUMPED. Still pumped actually. As with 2017, in 2018 about 4 weeks out I am feeling a bit fatigued but that's to be expected. One particular training session, an important one, I fail a deadlift at 192.5kgs. After that miss, I am just toast. Misses don't bother me when they are just misses. Too heavy or a slip in technique, I can handle that. On this day, I just didn't have that gear. I felt like I was hitting the gas and nothing was happening. I decide I am just not feeling well and might be sick and go home. I WENT HOME. This is not typical. I always at least finish my session one way or another but I packed it up, went home and slept for 5 hours. The following week is deload so I figure it is right on time and I will bounce back for the last block of training.<br />
<br />
During this deload week, I feel out my conventional pull and it felt like money. So we pull the plug on sumo about 3 weeks out. The week after deload I wake up Monday after a horrible night of sleep, which has been the norm for the past several weeks and look at myself in the mirror. MY FACE. MY EYE. It is red, and swollen, and sooooo itchy. I wake my husband up to confirm that my face is looking weird and I should probably seek medical attention. After training of course.<br />
<br />
Go into the gym, ignore my face, say nothing to no one and just get the work done. Go to a walk in clinic. She gives me a prescription for an anti-viral but doesn't actually tell me a diagnosis. She suggests that I go to an ophthalmologist to make sure it is not infecting my eye because blindness is not cool. Long story short: I could not get into the eye doc without a referral, they won't take one from the walk in clinic, schedule appointment with primary care provider to get referral, he says, YOU HAVE SHINGLES, this is a run on sentence but imagine I'm saying it quickly and in one breath, and I say, I'm sorry what?????!!!<br />
<br />
Yes, you have shingles on your face, you need to make sure it's not in your eye as soon as possible.<br />
<br />
Oh. Well. Maybe that's why I have been feeling so horrible and have been having no energy and have been feeling weak af. HEW. So glad I'm not just fatigued or over trained or lazy. I am relieved to get through these meds and get this out of my system and maybe I still have a fighting chance at having a decent meet.<br />
<br />
The meds are for 7 days. I get through the training. I am sleeping better but training is still feeling hard. I am tired and still don't have that low end gear needed for lifting heavy shit. At this point in training, I am suppose to be hitting big numbers but I just don't have it. I look up the side effects of the meds and they include cold symptoms, tiredness, headache, dizziness, etc. Relieved again! So, get through these 7 days and we'll be back on track!<br />
<br />
Day 8. Meds are done. Going to bed early. Going to sleep well. Going to crush the last two weeks of training. Nope. I don't sleep at all. My face is itching throughout the night and now I know exactly what's going on. The shingles have returned. Insert blank stare face.<br />
<br />
Go into the gym. Tell Wade the shingles are back. Will call the doctor as soon as they are open. Text Aaron that the shingles are back and we all agree to pull back on the training yet again. Aaron also increases my calories in an effort to get past this. Second round of meds on deck. I should finish them with a week to spare. Just in time to taper!<br />
<br />
I finish the meds and am super paranoid they are going to come back. I keep looking in the mirror. I can't tell if I'm just being paranoid or if my face just itches like a normal itch??? I get a refill on the meds just in case. Then we head out of town for the meet!<br />
<br />
Trust the Process. I actually really had to trust the process here. This was the blindest I have ever gone into a meet in regards to third attempts. I entertained the idea of lowering my squat opener. Instead, I watched training video after training video of me hitting 165kg over and over and over. So I stick with the plan. I can hit 165kgs with shingles. I can certainly hit it without them.<br />
<br />
At a heavier body weight, I knew my wilks was going to take a hit. I knew going in that I would have to be aggressive on 3rds and have to make them not just to win, but to even place in the top two. I was so anxious to get to warm ups so I could have an idea of where I was at strength wise.<br />
<br />
On to warm ups. The unracks feel like trash but the weight is moving. Last warm up, I unrack it and it still feels so heavy on my back. However, it floated and I knew we were in the money. First attempt is no problem. Always such a relief to get that first attempt in. Go to the planned second attempt, 175kg, the weight I missed at Nationals for a 3rd and it moves fine. Not the fastest I've moved that weight but no real issues. I let Wade and Aaron just make the call for the 3rd. They call 180kgs. We had planned a 180-185kg range for the third. From here, I knew I needed to actually make the lift, and I was confident I would, however I also knew we had our work cut out for us to place with only 180kg going into bench. Lift is good. 3/3 on squat. Also, PR on not making any sketchy walk outs!<br />
<br />
Bench! So pumped to bench because I am so pumped to NOT bench 100kgs. Weight cuts and random shoulder issues have had me hovering at 100kgs for what feels like a lifetime. I was so excited when I finally hit it in a meet but I was ready for more. Warm up for bench feels pretty good. I keep touching too high but know I just need to find the groove with touch point and it will be fine.<br />
<br />
Opener, 97.5kg, touch too high, but good. Second, 102.5, touch too high AGAIN and it shows but good lift. Buh bye 100kgs! We had planned 105-107.5kg for the 3rd on bench. I don't say anything to Wade and Aaron and again let them make the call. They call 105kg and justifiably so. DAMMIT! I am so mad at myself for making 102.5 look harder than it should. I refuse to make the same mistake on the 3rd. And I didn't. 105 looked better than 102.5 and I'm pissed at myself because I know I am short 2.5 very important kilos in my subtotal.<br />
<br />
I am not exactly sure where Jen and Marisa are as far as total or made attempts. I had done enough calculating before the meet to know at this point I might be fighting for 2nd place but it was still going to be really tough without those 2.5-5kgs from my previous 6 attempts.<br />
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Deadlift warm ups feel AHHHmazing. Opener 177.5kg floated like a delicate butterfly. I walk off the platform and Wade, Aaron and myself all know we might have something in the dead. Went to 187.5kg on the 2nd and it felt good but truthfully not quite as snappy as I would liked only because I knew I needed a HUGE 3rd to place for a cash prize. <br />
<br />
Wade asks me if I want to go for it on the 3rd. He says he's gonna have to be really aggressive for 2nd place. I said load it. Why not? Deads are feeling good and maybe, just maybe I can make it happen. 200kgs. The first time it's ever been loaded in front of me. I broke it off the floor and was quite surprised! Couldn't get it past my knees. 3rd place it is. I'd be lying if I said I weren't disappointed in my placing. However, I hit some solid pr's, went 8/9, and all in all had a great meet!<br />
<br />
22.5kgs on my total from the 2017 Arnold. 472.5kg total puts me in the top 5 for the 63kg weight class. That is nothing to be mad at. Looking back, everything was much the same, but this year, we were better. MUCH better. In hindsight, I wish I would have communicated with Wade and Aaron a little better either before the meet or during the meet about taking bigger risks on the thirds to build that subtotal.<br />
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As far as weight classes go, I am making my way back to 57kg for Worlds in June. I've been having this internal debate on when/if I should go up for a long time. The debate lives on. Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-79791821392495200192018-02-26T14:21:00.001-06:002018-02-26T14:21:55.806-06:00A Goal Achieved<br />
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It’s 7:38 pm Saturday, February 24<sup>th</sup>. We’ve been
at a meet all day where the lil hawt tamale, Melissa or Missy totaled Pro/Elite
. Yay, yes, I know. It is a big deal. She’s resting now in our bedroom next to
my office, watching basketball. She’s a fan, especially of Duke and I chuckle
quite often as she is one of those that yells at the refs and players while she
watches. It is indeed, quite entertaining. But, there is more and I want to
share this with you. I coach Missy. I live and share a home with her and our 4
dogs and our team of Ogres, if you will. But, a story is not told so quickly
so, I have to rewind a bit to explain. <o:p></o:p></div>
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April 13<sup>th</sup>, 2013 I was in Cincy at the Women’s
pro/am. This is where I met Missy. I remember vividly the stark look she had.
There was something that was just unique and I thought, that is someone I’d
like to get to know. We spoke briefly and we became pals on social media and
would talk and chat. As we got to know each other a little bit, she knew I
coached lifters and would ask questions and just chat training, etc. She even
asked me once, “if I was one of your lifters, what would you have me do?” I
told her I would have her put on weight and learn to cut. That she was so lean
and long that with some muscle and body weight, her leverages would be
dramatically improved. Now, she was not keen on the idea, especially when I
said 180-185 lbs. She was about 155 when I met her. AS time went on, we got to
the point where we chatted daily and spoke on the phone often. There was
clearly chemistry but, she lived in Charleston, SC and I in Mt Juliet, TN.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later in the year, she was going to be back
in Cincy interviewing for a job and it was the same weekend of the North of the
Border meet and I would be judging. We agreed to spend a couple of days
together and see, if this was something, was it a cool thing, could she and I
be an item. The morning of December 6<sup>th</sup>, 2013 was a training day. I
deadlifted that morning, jumped in my Kia with my packed bag, and headed north.
I literally got 20 minutes from home, in the rain, snow was coming and I was
hoping to beat it. But, at minute 21, my alternator went out. I limped to a
parts store, ordered the parts, called my son Wes to pick me up, and take me
home and I started my little Ranger pick up with 265,000 miles on it and drove
back to my Kia, picked up my bag and off I went. It was now 11 am and had been
a 3 hour turn around from the first time I tried to leave. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It takes about 3 hours to get just outside of Louisville,
Ky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wes called and said yes, you will
run into some snow but, you could beat it. I got on the bypass in Louisville
and it was snowing and parking lot. I got to Louisville in 3 hours but, it
would take another 6 hours to get to Cincy. I got there, Missy had ordered
food, I had brought a bottle of wine, we ate and spent a couple of days
together. I knew at that moment, she was something special. I knew I wanted to
get to know her more and see where this would take us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Melissa got the job and was going to move over the New Year
Holiday week. I had some time off and went up to help her move in. She had
emptied all the boxes by the time I got there and had returned her vehicle
trailer. So, she and I, in the cold and again, awaiting snow, emptied her
truck. We had a great dinner and spent the holiday together and the rest is
history. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, how does this tie in to today and her amazing feat of
power? Melissa and I have shared and lived so much in our time together. She
told me early on that when she and her training partner back at Low Country
Strength, Shannon, that she wanted to eventually total elite. That was in 2012.
I remember her training and competing the following year at the women’s pro/am
and squatting and pulling 300+ and benching 135 which, she thought she’d never
hit. The following month, Melissa had landed a job in Nashville, I flew up and
we packed up and she came to Mt Juliet with me. Then the flowing month, as she
had always wanted to try Olympic weightlifting, she competed in her first meet,
totaled 100kg and qualified for master’s nationals. This had little impact
initially on powerlifting. Missy and I would have training dates where we’d go
to either the Sweat Shop or the Oly gym and train. October/November of that year,
she got a bronze at the American masters and then a couple few weeks later, she
hit an 800 total in powerlifting. She was 55 away from elite. I made a picture
and framed when she moved in and hung it in the office where is still hangs
showing what her goals would be for 2014 and what she needed for elite. <o:p></o:p></div>
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2015 became the year of weightlifting over powerlifting.
There was great success. A bronze at nationals, a silver at Pan-ams and a
bronze at the world cup. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was later
that year, she decided to come back to powerlifting. She also wanted to try her
hand at strongman. 2016 she went up in weight. She finally decided that the
weight would help. Competed and hit some big pr’s and then later that year,
made the cut back to 165, totaled 830-fell short 25. 2017 Missy competed in 3
strongman events. Winning 2 and then getting 3<sup>rd</sup> as master’s
nationals. She also went back to the weightlifting platform and hit some state
records. She stayed in the 181’s and hit a big total pr and lifetime meet pr’s
in all lifts. It was then she decided that training 3 sports was too much. The
focus would be strongman for 2018 but, she wanted to make the cut to 165 once
more and take a shot at elite as her lifts at her last meet would have been
more than enough,. Sounds so simple, yes? But, it’s not easy. In the midst of
training and this weight cut to 165, she would need to do a qualifier for
strongman masters nationals. Training was hard. The early hours, did I mention
we get up at 4 am Monday through Friday because of her job and it’s the only
way she can get the training in? Missy did well and qualified easily at the
strongman comp and then a few weeks to finish training. The training cycle was
horrendous. Lots of struggles, lots of missed lifts and lots of frustration and
tears. I was dreading the meet. I knew she would be devastated if this didn’t
go well and she had even said as much. I was very excited for our team but,
Melissa just struggled and even with adjustments, less volume and less weight,
it seemingly got worse. There were days that both of us were so frustrated that
it was just difficult to get through the day. As it always works, meet week
comes. She’s easily going to make weight and then, boom, she is sick. It’s a
cold but, she is sick and coughing. I spent the rest of the week preparing
myself for how I was going to handle it if she missed this shot. Keep in mind,
Melissa is a master’s lifter, life time drug free and turned 45 last year. We
both know, with the wear and tear of training multiple strength sports, the
window was narrowing and with the way the training cycle had gone and how she’d
struggled in past cycles with the heart breaking oh so close results, I was
worried to say the least. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, this morning, here we were. I got up super early,
fed the dogs, and trained some light aux and coached Carolyn through her
session and off we went. We drove to Murfreesboro and warm ups seemed pretty
decent. I decided to have her wrap on her last 2 warm ups and hoped it would
give her a boost and make the lifts easier and give her confidence. Opener was
305. We knew she had to have 330 to have a shot. 305 goes up and she’s in the
meet. I was going to go conservative but, she wanted the 330. I was pretty
nervous. I didn’t’ think 305 went in a manner that a 25 lb jump would be good
but, she wanted it. To her credit, she dug in and hit the lift. She hadn’t been
this heavy all cycle. I went to 335. I knew we’d need some extra pounds as the
weight cut seemed to effect her bench the most. Again, she had to grind but,
where she had failed in the past, she dug in and keep the weight where she
needed it to finish the lift and earn a lifetime pr of 335. On to bench, her
warm ups were fine and I was hopeful. I knew if we could at least get 150, she
had a 370 pull. She always pulls well on meet day. Opener of 140 goes solid. On
to 150 where she has to grind it a bit and so I call for 155. It’s our only
option. She’s tired and misses the lift. In situations like this, all you can
ask for is an opportunity to be successful, just a shot or a fighting chance.
While not her best lifts, she had a sub-total that if she could pull 370, she’d
hit pro/elite and finally hit her goal that started all the way back in 2012. She
warmed up to 275 and lifted well. I was starting to believe it could happen.
She opened at 315 and was solid. On to her 2<sup>nd</sup> was 345. It was
slower of the floor and it would be a fight but 25 more would give her a 370
pull and the 855 total that has been so elusive. I called for 370 and she set
up, loaded and the pull started and the weight did not want to move but, she
would not quit and finally, the weight pulled away from the ground, grinded up
the shins and then finally broken the knee where she finished the lift quickly.
And there you have it. 6 years of training, 3 sports, at that moment, she had
achieved her goal. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is our story, our life. We get up early, have 4 girl
dogs to take care of and our team both home and all over. These people are our
family. We have traveled all over, judged meets, helped at meets and competed
everywhere. Each week, we plan and try to find ways to get better and for
Missy, she has to fight and earn every pound of strength. Our week and weekends
are packed with activity as the gym runs with a morning and evening crew and a
Saturday morning crew. I program mainly on the weekend and she runs the girls.
I grill on the weekend to prep for the week and she’s doing laundry. It is
truly a crazy schedule and pace of life. It’s just the way it is. We have to
tag team the house hold things each day and week just to get through the days
and weeks. It is now 9:38 pm. She is now, fast asleep and rest that is well
earned. I am a proud coach. It is my honor to coach her. She gets up 6 days a
week and leaves me laying there to get ready and once she is dressed to head
down to the gym, I get up and she gets the girls fed. I have an old pal that
asked me one time during a difficult time, how do you eat an elephant? A bite
at a time. When you build it, it’s brick by brick and you have to show up every
day. You have to show up when you don’t feel good because, the feelings don’t
matter. You have to show up when you are tired because being elite means you do
it when others won’t. And, she did that. She did it every day and as a coach,
you have to love to prepare and I am so proud of her willingness to keep laying
it on the line day in and day out. Elite is forever. I am also her ultra proud
man. I have shared the moments of triumph and wiped away many tears. I know the
road traveled to do this very well and the price you pay and for Missy, this
road has been difficult but, all in one moment, she arrived and now, is
forever, an elite level lifter. I am beaming, and everytime I see the video of
her last pull and her jumping in elation, I tear up. I could just bust and love
her excitement. For me, there is nothing sweeter than to see a dream achieved
and a goal met. It’s even a cooler thing to see what someone once thought not
only was improbable but likely impossible become a reality. You did it my lil
hawt tamale, you did it!<o:p></o:p></div>
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And now, strongman…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And, the journey continues…stay tuned<o:p></o:p></div>
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And until then, Lift Heavy, Train Smart & Eat More Pizza!!!!Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-34515172195548472732017-12-30T21:44:00.002-06:002017-12-30T21:44:59.652-06:00When The Benefits are BlurryIt's December 30, 2017.<br />
<br />
Looking back on the year, it seems successful for the most part....I suppose. I have written before about my <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2017/08/become-what-you-have-received-my.html">internal struggle </a>with powerlifting. Honestly, I find myself in the middle of the same struggle.<br />
<br />
Once upon time, a long time ago, in a land far far away, I went to lactation school. As in, breastfeeding. SPOILER ALERT! I didn't finish. Why? Because my return on investment (ROI) was going to be extremely low. At the time, in order for me to have a real position as a certified lactation consultant (read: hired by a hospital) I'd need to also be a registered nurse, and I had/have zero interest in that. I won't bore you with the geographical details and success rates, and my lack of ability to be able to predict the upswing in interest and activism for breastfeeding at the time, I dropped out. In short, I quit. HOWEVER, I fully support loving and nurturing your babies and if that means breastfeeding for you, then I can still help at a very normal level and I still love it and I will still recommend you to a consultant if necessary. So, if you are a mother who just had a baby and you need an ear, PLEASE send me message! I very much believe "the village" is the what is missing from society. I'll be your village. End Commercial.<br />
<br />
Back to powerlifting. This other passion of mine. This other "pet project" of mine. At what point do you draw the line? At what point do you really look at your ROI and be honest with yourself? (I'm literally about to write an entire paragraph of rhetorical questions). When do you say that you're "good enough" to coach? When are you good enough to handle day of? When do you know enough to write programming? When do you "deserve" enough sponsorship to pay your way to comps? And can you coach and be one of the best at the same time? When is it justified? And is it ever?<br />
<br />
At the end of the day, it is all defined by the individual. I can say, that when I was in lactation school, I learned things that I still to this day use to help women nurse their babies and would not trade that for anything in the world. I can say the same for powerlifting.<br />
<br />
A moment that stands out to me in particular just happened the other day. I coach my daughter's basketball team and I scheduled practice over the holiday break, because consistency is key! My practice attendance was very low so I had a great opportunity to work one on one more so than normal. We were practicing free throws, and after several misses by all the players, I told them about a "trick". The trick I told them about was having the vision. I told my player, "imagine the ball going in the hoop before you shoot it. See yourself doing it. BUT, it only works, if you believe it". This particular player, believes me, which makes everything easier! I'll be dammed if she didn't shoot that free throw and it swished threw the net! IT WORKS, she exclaimed!<br />
<br />
I may have cried. Just a little though. I owe this lesson to powerlifting. There are many things I have learned through this sport that I pour out money and sacrifice to. And I'm taking a giant exhale and saying that it's worth it. While my ROI may not me monetary (for now), it is serving me in the greater scheme of things. And much like the school I dropped out of, I am at times severely underestimating it's value.<br />
<br />
As I continue to learn, each day, the most valuable things we have to offer, are what we have to offer to others by way of experience and encouragement.<a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2016/09/be-gasoline.html"> #bethegasoline</a> <br />
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LET'S GO 2018!<br />
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enouhgPower Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-37011978240926679972017-12-17T08:28:00.001-06:002017-12-17T08:28:38.042-06:00Going 9 for 9: Worth the Hype or Nah?Is going 9 for 9 worth the hype or nah? I say (like everyone wise woman).......it depends.<br />
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I whole heartily believe that making attempts is what wins titles. If you're a contender, you have to make attempts and as many of them as possible. End of story. Why? Duh. More attempts made means a bigger total and totals win meets. World records do not win meets. Co-efficients and arbitrary mile stone numbers do not win meets. Big totals win meets, which means every attempt matters, every kilo matters. </div>
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HOWEVER. I also whole heartily believe that you should work backwards from YOUR goal. Some (maybe even most), aren't necessarily chasing a title or winning a weight class or best lifter. Which brings me to setting outcome goals for a meet. Powerlifting is a funny sport in many ways, but particularly because it's competitors seem to be eternally dissatisfied with their results. For a long time, I went into meets without any particular goals or worse, goals of hitting very specific numbers (10/10 do not recommend). Eventually, I gave up on hitting very specific numbers and became a little more strategic in my game day plan. The damnedest thing happened when I did this.....I started making national/world record attempts, I started winning titles, I started winning best lifter. Say what?! You mean, strategy and planning have a place in powerlifting? Yes. Yes it does. </div>
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So, how do I set up my meet day goals? First, I set a minimum goal. This is a pass/fail grade. If nothing else, I want to hit this bare minimum goal. Often times, this is something like PR-ing my total. This helps keep you on track if things start going to shit. Then, the ideal goal. This is what you came to do. This is what you're training for. This is what you've set up your training cycle for. Then, stretch goals, just in case you're on fire and crushing it that day. These are "pie in sky" but maybe there's a chance goals. </div>
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Where does going 9/9 come into play? Often times, if you go 9/9, you're going hit your goals because you've been smart about every attempt. Not to mention, with every attempt you make, you're building up momentum, which is building up your confidence, which is building up your enthusiasm, which is building up your probability to hit some big deadlifts, which is building up your total. The only number that really matters. </div>
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The other side effect of going 9 for 9 is you force your competitors to compete. The constant pressure of hitting attempt after attempt can have some psychological advantage because you may just put your competitors into the hamster wheel of chasing your marginal lead. If my strategy is making attempts, I pay no attention to what my competitors are putting on the bar because I'm here to win, and winning means a big total and big total means making attempts. </div>
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Pulling for the win.</div>
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Should you pull for the win? It depends. Do you have an actual shot at making the attempt? Or are you willy nilly loading an unrealistic weight you have no shot at completing? If you have a chance at ACTUALLY MAKING THE LIFT, then I say load it. If you've already made 8 attempts, then you've probably closed the gap as much as possible and again, probably feeling like a rock star. So load it. If you have no shot at making the lift, then I say load AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ACTUALLY LIFT. I'm not suggesting sandbagging just to make the 9th attempt, but I am suggesting being smart and strategic and putting a weight on the bar that you think is possible. Make your competitors compete! Make the lift and make them make lifts. I realize this may make you be realistic about yourself and the day you've had. It may mean that on that day, you got beat but at least you can say you literally lifted every kilo/pound you had that day. </div>
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Loading an unrealistic weight and hoping for magic is not a strategy. Loading a weight you think is your limit that day and getting the lift is executing. </div>
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As for me, I don't hope, I execute.<br />
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Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-79818994109914305402017-11-02T19:07:00.001-05:002017-11-02T19:26:06.155-05:002017 Raw Nationals: Flipping the Switch"I leave him there in the airport. Hands down, one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever had to do. When it comes to trauma and dealing with it, I'm reclusive. I prefer to go to a dark cave and be left alone until I figure it out, BY MYSELF, with no one. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be touched, I don't want sympathy, I want solitude."<br />
<br />
July 2, 2017 is when I finally returned home with my whole family from IPF Worlds piggy backed with family vacation. My first outing at as a National team member was a whirl wind of emotions. When I finally hit the couch in my living room, I felt like I was coming down off of one hell of a bender. I was so grateful for everything that I was able to do, so grateful to be home again with my babies and my man. However, I never did get that solitude I so desired and quite honestly required. <br />
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15 weeks. That was the turn around time from Worlds to Nationals. Training for Worlds, I was so focused, it was almost trance like. After I competed, it felt like I had finally come up for air. I had actually done it. I actually did the thing. But a part of the whole thing was missing for me so it was as if I were having the best dream ever, only to be woken up before the end. And now, I had to do it again. <br />
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I wanted to train. I wanted to get to that place. The zone. That trance like focus that I know I'm capable of. I wanted to flip the switch. In an effort to be transparent, I'm telling you, I couldn't get there. <br />
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike><br /></strike></div>
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I trained. I showed up. I put forth effort. I was even hitting some PR's in training. However, my mind just couldn't get absorbed in it like it had before. I've read that your mind only has so much "will power" or what I would call grit and once it's tapped out, it's tapped out. Burn out. I've seen athletes burn out, I've seen myself burn out and I knew this was what I was experiencing. So, I accept it. </div>
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I know this is temporary. I know all I need is a little time and I can build it again. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time. The good news for me, is that I don't <i>have to have </i>the best meet of my life to keep my National title. So I let the pressure release. I stop waiting for the fire to return, for the trance like focus to commence. It's not coming and I'm not trying to force it and risk permanent burn out. </div>
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I don't think I ever fully processed all the travel stress that happened for Worlds. I wasn't sleeping well and would have dreams of losing my family. I would wake up and go check everyone and make sure they were safe and sound in their beds. As Nationals drew closer, I felt anxiety creeping in about flying and leaving my family behind. Because of the time Michael took off for Worlds, he was not able to make it to Nationals. So needless to say, I wasn't worrying or focusing much on attempts or totals or making weight. I was just trying to make it one piece. </div>
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So, going into the meet my expectation was to increase my total by a few kilos. I wasn't looking to make a huge splash, just a little bit better than the meet before. I thought if I could manage to go 9/9, that would set me up to have a shot at best lifter and of course win my weight class. Come hell or high water, I'm deadlifting more that 187.5kgs. <br />
<br />
My body weight this cycle was not as cooperative as it has been in the past. Much of that though was my own lack of focus and I think my stress level was a bit high which isn't good for anything. I didn't get extremely heavy but could not consistently get below 130lbs to save my life. Another thing I decide to accept and leave to the water manipulation gods.<br />
<br />
Let's get to the lifting! So, warming up, I feel very <i>ok</i>. I'm feeling guilty about not having the intensity I know exists within me....which I believe has also rubbed off on Wade....but again, it's just not coming, so I try to ignore it and just accept things as they are and get the job done. Attempts one and two feel just as warm ups felt and I knew even a small PR was going to be a reach. We call for 175kgs, Wade tells me I'm gonna have to dig.....<i>I know, I freakin know. </i>I unrack and the actual unrack felt strong, but uneven. I'm so used to ignoring shit like this in an attempt to overcome I just go with it. I come up out of the hole and feel the dip to one side and I just can't stand up with it.<br />
<br />
I actually feel really horrible about this. It is not very often that I feel a need to please anyone or like anyone ever even thinks about me very much, but in that moment, I felt like I let people down. At this point, I knew we'd have to be pretty conservative to hit the total PR. THIS is why missing a squat is THE WORST. Lost momentum and now playing catch up. Boo. Despite my pity party, I'm still in position to hit my PR total and win my class.<br />
<br />
On to bench! Bench, was not friendly this training cycle. It was not picking up any momentum and I'm expecting to simply match my best meet bench (100kgs). Opener, fine. Second, freakin slow. Now I'm pissed. We only have one place to go and that is 100kgs. I absolutely refuse to be miss this 100kgs bench. 100 KILOS is mine forever and always.<br />
<br />
On this third bench attempt, I flip the switch. I flipped it to that dark side that refuses to fail and doesn't give one flying fuck about how I feel, what the training cycle has been like, what people think, what happened at Worlds, what meet I'm doing....none of it matters. I'm getting this lift and I'm getting a PR total. The lift is super slow, and good. The feelings I've been waiting for rush over me. In this moment, I feel some redemption and hope.<br />
<br />
Deadlifts. If there is one thing that motivates me to hit a PR on a specific lift, it's when it's overdue. I wanted a huge pull at Worlds. It so happened that 1) I wouldn't need it and that 2) I'd be red lighted. I was so very annoyed at my deadlift performances, that it was in the forefront of my mind to make it happen. I actually decided to <i>lower</i> my planned attempts a week or so out. I opened lower than I did at Worlds. This was strategic in that I knew I was going to at the very least make a third attempt and it likely was not going to determine placing so I was just saving up for it. 175kgs and 185kgs for one and two. Now, we have a decision to make. Go for the total PR or a stretch goal. I tend to learn towards the conservative route because pride won't let me total less than my previous total. I tell Wade, let's just hit the total PR and be done. 192.5kgs is what we put in. .5 kilos more than my current total. At the last minute, Wade changes the attempt to chip the American record to 193kgs. I make the lift. My American deadlift record stands for now. Wade is the master meet day manager and thinker and getter of records.<br />
<br />
So, I sit here like an asshole, feeling bad about my 463kg total, which unofficially breaks my current world record total by one kilo. So I bested, the best meet of my life and I'm feeling like I let myself, coaches, friends, family, and followers down. And that is the twisted world of powerlifting.<br />
<br />
While I am feeling luke warm about my performance at Nationals, I am feeling great overall about the experience. It was really great seeing all of you in internet land in real life. I was able to stay in the meet hotel, something I have not done in the past, which meant that I was able to catch a lot more sessions than I normally do and just being around seeing everyone in passing was nice too. Social PR's all around.<br />
<br />
Being able to watch many sessions, and even commentate the 72kg women/93kgs men's primetime session, I quickly noticed a very obvious characteristic in lifters. I could literally see people flip the switch. I could see when top name lifters in prime time flipped the switch after a particular attempt. I could see some that flipped it before the meet even started. I could see some in the early sessions that flipped it too....bound for greatness.<br />
<br />
I'm about to contradict myself. While I really believe that flipping switch is necessary for life, I do believe there are varying degrees. So it's more like a dimmer, which is contradictory of said switch that gets flipped. Perhaps getting into "the zone" works more like a dimmer. When the training cycle is set up and going well, the dimmer slowly dims until you are completely on the dark side for meet day. Other times, it's not as successful and the need to go immediately to the dark side arises...some can, at that point flip the switch, while others fumble with the dimmer.<br />
<br />
From my very own, very anecdotal, very un-expert opinion, here are few that I either noticed had dimmed the lights to darkness or flipped the switch. In no particular order.<br />
<br />
1) Marisa Inda. Marisa had been battling an injury since Worlds. Obviously that can put a damper on any meet prep. However, she showed up to do her job and defend her National title. Marisa missed her third bench attempt. I was in the crowd, and couldn't tell exactly what happened, but <i>knew </i>that was a weight that she could hit in her sleep. Chad challenged the call because the blocks she was using had slipped. Marisa doesn't typically use blocks but was doing so here to protect the injury. The call was overturned and she was able to take a 4th attempt. Marisa came back like a pro, and made easy work of that weight. It is truly a skill to come back from a missed lift and make it. I was so fired up to see Marisa make that lift. She went on to win her weight class and will be in Calgary to defend her World title.<br />
<br />
2) Generally speaking, the 63kg women. They were all so incredible. Jennifer Thompson coming back from injury, where no one knew what to expect and quite honestly may have counted her out...walked onto the platform for business. I knew by the end of squats, she was here and here to win. She had dimmed the lights. Quite honestly though, it seemed to me that all the top 63kg women had dimmed the lights. It was great to watch and was one of my favorite sessions. It's gonna be a great session for years to come.<br />
<br />
3) Muh girl, Erin Kyle. I met Erin, via the internet. She is part of the #1atperformance team and I was pumped to watch her lift. I feel an unreasonable amount of responsibility for her success. It is unreasonable and unfounded. She is smart and strong and perfectly capable of success on her own. She also works really hard, is sarcastic, dry, and funny, so I'm a softy. She took her 2nd attempt squat, and I was worried for her third quite honestly, BUT the spotters very obviously took her third too early. I am literally screaming like a maniac from the crowd for her coach (and fiance) to challenge it and he does. I feel immediate regret. Dammit. It's going to be a dig. Maybe it's not worth it? I don't know. She comes out, takes the forth attempt. I'LL BE DAMNED if she doesn't get the lift. It was one of the longest, grind-est lifts I've seen, but she stood up with it. She flipped the switch. Literally, my most favorite lift of Nationals.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BaP4Fj-HjHa/?taken-by=jenmillican">https://www.instagram.com/p/BaP4Fj-HjHa/?taken-by=jenmillican</a><br />
<br />
4) The entire 72/93kg session. Kim Walford, much like Jennifer Thompson, came out for one thing and one thing only, to take care of business. When I watched Kim, I could see the darkness she had dimmed to. Every attempt, she was bringing it, she didn't break. What she did do was break several records, win best lifter and go 9/9......oh and dim the lights all the way to darkness. Honestly, I could see it from the first attempt, Kim was there to clean up.....and for the sake of being candid, I was envious I didn't bring the same intensity.<br />
<br />
I saw several lifters in this session flip the switch and at least one other that dimmed to darkness. Kloie Dublin. She is young, and smart, and strong and has a dark side. She was there in the darkness the entire time. Dave Ricks and LS McClain both flipped the switch when it came time. Watch the recording of the sessions, and tell me you don't see the difference in the lifters.<br />
<br />
I had a great time at Nationals. Thank you all for indulging me and reading my blog and following along with my journey. Let's all freaking dim that switch.<br />
<br />
Cheers,<br />
Jennifer<br />
</div>
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Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-46397575400907246702017-08-05T13:15:00.001-05:002017-08-05T13:15:53.289-05:00Become What You Have Received; My Internal Struggle with Powerlifting Become what you have received.<br />
<br />
These words resonated with me at my daughter's first communion back in May. When I first heard them, I asked myself what is it that my children are receiving? What am I, as their Mother, giving them? The answer I gave myself was a mix of good and bad and a lot in the middle. It certainly gave me another perspective to the ever changing canvas of parenting.<br />
<br />
Powerlifting is a hobby. It is not my job. I repeat these things over to myself when I'm stuck in the middle of obsessing and worrying about lifts, and meets, and form, and attempt selection, and body weight, and flights, and hotel rates, and time off from work.<br />
<br />
I love this sport. I love training and competing. I love preparing. I love analyzing. I love almost everything that is necessary to be good in this sport. I'm good at it too. Really good. I don't mind waking up at the ass crack of dawn to train (80% of the time at least), I don't mind the annoying aches and pains, I don't mind the physical effort, I don't mind any of it. BUT FOR WHAT? The truth is, I really don't know the answer. Any result, whether internal or external, is and has been at sole benefit of myself. This is my internal struggle.<br />
<br />
But for what?! I yelled at my husband when discussing exactly why I'm pursuing a sport that rarely puts enough money back in my pocket to even break even. A sport that takes time away from children, money away from vacations we could be taking as a family, energy I could be putting into avenues that produce income, attention and validation I could feel from parenting, being a wife, being good at my job that this sport is currently doing for me. FOR WHAT?<br />
<br />
Become what you have received. For whatever reason, which has become multifaceted for myself, I have received this gift of being strong. I am workhorse. There is no amount of work, or discomfort that will deter me from fulfilling my potential. I am not the person that needs external motivation to show up. I have a trance like focus and I can't escape it. However, I also have genetics. When I started lifting, I was immediately an outlier. Work and commitment will certainly take you to levels you thought were un-achievable, but those things combined with genetics, and you will become unstoppable. <br />
<br />
Who am I to deny these gifts that I have received? What kind of asshole would I be if I received this gift and I were to ignore it? My pursuit of strength has made me who I am. My pursuit of strength has made me a better person, a better parent, a better wife, a better teammate, a better Jennifer. While I may struggle at times with the "WHY" of powerlifting, I am forever indebted to the sport.<br />
<br />
I have received this gift, and I will become it. I will become it, I will nurture it, I will evolve it....AND THEN I will give whatever I received to my children, to any of you that read my blogs, to any of you that follow along with my journey, to any of you that reach out to me, to any of you that walk into my gym, to any of you that cross my that path.<br />
<br />
I will give you what I have received.<br />
<br />
<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-30626514971295404292017-07-07T19:44:00.002-05:002017-07-07T19:44:32.378-05:00PressurePressure. I've never been very good under pressure. I grew up athletic. My entire life, I love(d) playing sports of any kind. In a neighborhood full of boys, I was never shy about participating in any of the pick up games that came about. Depending on the season, it was always one of the three main sports in the south (at least where I grew up); baseball, basketball, or football. I played all three. In hindsight (such a bitch), I wish I would have actually pursued football a bit more, but because of the fairly obvious gender reasons, I did not (but future Jennifer would have told past Jennifer to sign up and get a helmet and pads, and to start eating). I've always had quick hands and feet, I've always been what most call aggressive (I call it playing to win), and I freaking LOVE studying competition and developing strategy, but I digress.<br />
<br />
I was good enough at basketball to play with the middle school team for most of the summer. As mentioned, I've always been fast and aggressive. What I did lack was, uh, finesse. I was a star defensive player. My signature move was to steal the ball and break away. I would make a fast break, pull away from everyone, be all alone at my goal, and BRICK every lay up I attempted. I was also five feet tall. I played with the team all summer, and just before school started, I was told I wouldn't be moving on. I was crushed, but I also inherently knew it was coming.<br />
<br />
At this time in my life, I believed that this is just the way I was. I wasn't good at the follow up. I wasn't good at making the basket. I just believed that is who I was. Eternally, almost great.<br />
<br />
Softball. I was very good at softball. I was good at both offensive and defense. I started playing when I was eight, and I was started at first base. Quick hands. As I got older, I moved to short stop. There was nothing that could get past me. Growing up, I would beg my father to go out in the yard with me and hit grounders to me. I would ask him to do this after a solid weekend out of town where all I did was play short stop for eight hours a day ( my current powerlifting coaches, Aaron, Wade and my Husband shouldn't feel surprised by this at all). I thought about softball day and night. I loved everything about it, I would sleep in my uniform. I fell in love with this game. While I'm not 100 percent sure, I believe I was the only one (at the time), to hit it over the fence in Mt. Juliet Little League Softball. <br />
<br />
I try out for High School Ball. I dominate at try outs and make the team. As a freshman, I get to pinch hit. But they want me bunt??????? What is happening? I am fast, yes, but I can hit the ball. What the hell is happening? I'm no good at bunting. In my mind I'm like, just let me hit the ball and let's move on. I eventually get the chance to start at second base. I am not used to pitchers who are pitching with strategy. I don't know how to handle curve balls, and risers (dude, they fucked me every time), and change ups. When it came to playing defense, second base wasn't exactly the same as short stop when it came to how to play the ball. In short, there was so much more strategy in High School Ball that I was quite unaccustomed to. I lacked so much grooming as a player with potential. I don't like to blame coaching, because after all, this is #poweryourown, but at this time in my life, I could have really used a coach that believed in my potential. I *knew I wasn't good under pressure, and my high school softball career was exasperating it.<br />
<br />
I was cut my sophomore year. At that time, it was the most devastating thing that could have happened to me. It literally took my life away. From the time that I was eight years old, all I thought was the game of softball. I should have been BETTER. I should have tried harder. I should have been more pursuant about how to get better. I should have studied harder on how to bunt. I should have sought out help on how to make my throw better. I should have competed at a higher level to understand pitching strategies. Now, I'm sitting here in my coach's office, and he is telling me my life is over. It was in that moment that I decided I would NEVER rely on anyone to fulfill my potential ever again.<br />
<br />
So, from here, the majority of my athletic career is over. I tried out again but didn't make it. I have some babies on down the line. Quite honestly, it was my decision to have these babies naturally (without drugs and pain relievers) that awakened this part of me that had been asleep for so long. This part of me that desires competition, that desires overcoming self doubt, the part of me that desires being better than I believed I was at the time.<br />
<br />
After my second child is born, I decide I would like some of my shape back. I had gotten really thin and I prefer the curvy back road rather that the straight and narrow interstate as far as physiques go. My husband had been doing Crossfit, and I decide to give it a whirl. I love competing and I love winning so Crossfit really seemed like a great fit to me. Shortly after doing that, I do a push/pull and never look back.<br />
<br />
I knew going into powerlifting, that I had loads of potential. I also knew my background and that I didn't deal well with pressure. My first few meets, I most certainly under performed. I never lifted well in meets and I always lifted way more in the gym. I was always so nervous on meet day, I just couldn't get it together when it mattered.<br />
<br />
This was very frustrating for me. I have mentioned in quite possibly every blog I have written, an <a href="http://www.jtsstrength.com/articles/2015/05/06/the-sport-psychology-of-goal-setting/">article</a> by Dr. Mike Israetel on the process of training, and how to rely on the process. I hate to be so repetitive but this article was quite a pivotal moment in my career.<br />
<br />
I am a person that requires evidence, and if it's anecdotal, that works even better. This article gave me something to work for. It inspired the idea that even if I suck at high pressure situations, I could pull out at the end if I did the work.<br />
<br />
From here, I realize that performing under pressure is a skill I can ACQUIRE. I may have been born with these genetics that make me so nervous that I buckle under pressure and leave every ounce of potential I have in the mind of myself. However, I have learned to overcome that.<br />
<br />
I know that come meet day, I will be super hella nervous. I know that my brain will not function like it does in the gym. I know that I will forget everything I have done up until this point. I know that weird shit will happen with unracks, and commands, and rack heights, and white lights, and red lights, and starting on time, on flights, and passports, and visas, and hotels, and meals, and water, and literally everything else in world.<br />
<br />
What I can tell you is that I DON'T CARE. I have reached a point where performing under pressure is a skill that I have pursued. I have researched it and I have beat it into the ground. I may seem like a crazy person on meet day because I can't speak to anyone or direct my attention outside of myself AT ALL, but what I can do is perform. I can perform because I decided to. Not because I am a person that naturally trusts the process or naturally excels under pressure. I have learned to do that.<br />
<br />
My intention in this post is to inspire those of you that may feel like nerves get the best of you come meet day. You can overcome it. You must be intentional about overcoming it. Read about it. Practice it, everyday. It is a skill that you can pursue. It requires trust and practice, but most importantly, self belief. Which is SKILL that you can acquire if you practice it daily. <br />
<br />
Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-72620175880667465552017-07-07T09:50:00.001-05:002017-07-07T10:16:46.213-05:002017 IPF Classic Worlds...the old coach perspective<div class="MsoNormal">
It was January 15, 2014 when I got a very short and to the
point e-mail from a Jennifer Millican. The name was familiar but, I couldn’t
put it together. I am sure I had seen this person at a meet or something as it
generally goes that way. To this day, I still can’t recall how I knew of her.
Anyway, it wasn’t but a few weeks later that in walks this tiny little lady and
her Grandmother and the rest is, as they say, history. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In that time, lots of things have happened with many
challenges. So many obstacles on a personal, professional and lifting level and
too many to list but, be assured, this has been a journey and not all has been
smooth and effortless. What did and has
happened was lots of talks, lots of messaging and lots of notes. How to get
better, how to overcome each one encouraging the other. Each meet, an
evaluation. Taking notes as to what needs to be worked on, changes that might
be made and so forth. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once the Arnold was done this year, Jenn and I spent a lot
of time talking, well Jenn talked a lot more than I did…but, anyway, she never
shut up the entire time we celebrated which was the rest of that day into the
wee hours of the following morning. We both made a couple of key mistakes and
drew from the past successes and what we needed to do to get better and grow.
Jennifer trusts me and trusts me to rely on my experience. I have competed in
many meets and different sports at a fairly high level. I have coached at a
high level and I have judged at a high level. All those things count but, it
still has to be applied come game day and for me to be of any assistance to
her, at IPF worlds, I needed to be and we would have to be on point. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jenn and I spend a lot of time talking about strategy and
attempts, all cycle long. I generally write down what I think is feasible for
her to attempt at the meet and she comes along and blows that out of the water
with what she thinks is “feasible”. Then we work on it, hone it down and talk
about it some more and repeat the process all cycle long until we pinpoint a
plan. We did great at 2016 nationals. We were conservative and precise and when
there was a little adversity, we didn’t panic. The results speak for
themselves. At the Arnold, we chased numbers, there was adversity and we didn’t
panic but, we fell short of our best. So, going into the training cycle for
worlds, we discussed lots of things and knew that just like nationals, we had
to make attempts and there was no ego. Attempts were discussed over and over,
warm up routine honed precisely and then we discussed with the team coaches
Siouxz and Matt Gary and they offered a few options and the plan was laid. Now,
if you want a lift by lift account, please read Jenn’s blog about the meet in
her recap. What I want to talk about is other things. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
If you read any of Jenn’s writing, you will see that there
as a theme with her family. We were leaving the Sunday before Jenn lifted on
Thursday. We had a brunch and lots of family we there to send her off and some
go with her on this trip. Not many of us have that kind of support. They cooked
food, told stories, laughed and clapped for Jenn as we loaded up and headed to
the airport. It’s that kind of support, that I assure you is always present and
apparent, that is a rock for her. As you read in Jenn’s recap, we get to
Chicago, so far so good and boom, Mike has no passport. I even saw him with it
in Nashville. This was the first obstacle to overcome and by far the biggest. I
knew it was hard on both of them. And let me say this about Michael. I know he
felt awful, I could see it in his eyes and I know he felt he let Jenn down but,
let me say this. There is noone that is more resilient. He shakes my hand and
says, “take care of her” and stays behind and I hope and pray and yes, have
threatened him if he doesn’t post a blog about this because, it wasn’t easy, it
was really hard for him to pull off what he did. But more, it’s all the things
he does you never see. The morning coffee, the kids getting off to school, the
endless work hours. I have seen it with my own eyes and the guy just gets it
done. There is no bitching, no moaning, just getting it done. Today, I tip my hat
to you sir! This is the rock and glue that it takes day in and day out. Again,
let’s hope he posts about what he went through and what it took for him to get
there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t say enough nice things about SIouxZ and Matt Gary.
There was plenty of communication prior to the meet and discussions about meet
attempts and even warm ups. I like it. When we got out of the van once arriving
at the hotel, they were the first people we saw. We had time prior to the meet
to talk and it we melded and were on the same page basically immediately. It was decided that Matt and I would have a
better vantage point at the side of the platform from a distance and that also
allowed me to take video. SiouxZ would be in the coach’s box and it was easy
for us to discuss and consult between each attempt. They knew that we had a
plan and that Jenn and I are very connected on game day. It was as well a
collaborative effort as there could be and we’d never worked together. This is
where experience really mattered and for the 3 of us, it was really what was
best for Jenn and getting the absolute best result for her and the team. I
would work with them again in a flash. It was a blast and we really worked well
together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
As for Jenn, I think the thing that works so well for us is
that we are in many ways very much alike. There isn’t a ton of talk or anything
on this day. Each lift, the warms ups are hit with precision, everything warm
up wise looks great. With squats, the misses from what I felt were the
contenders allowed us to be a bit more conservative and we wanted the world
record and knew that would give us a lead and honestly, that is not where we
expected to be. I will say this about squats, I was confident. Training had
gone well. I can only recall once a missed squat and she came back to hit it. I
remember she asked, “Should I lower the weight?” and I used some colorful
expletives to gently get my opinion and point across and that was that. I say
that tongue in cheek. Now, I did blast some expletives but, to be clear, Jenn
is not someone that is looking for something outward to be motivated, she’s
already there. I’m just the one that if she gets a little nervous, or a little
concerned or even scared, I just tell her to load the f’n weight and let’s get
it done. I say it all the time, to be all time you have to be all time all of
the time. Being a best lifter at nationals and then at worlds is not a fluke.
Keep in mind, everyone there is not good, they are great and contenders and all
of them can be a dangerous opponent so, to win and then be best lifter, you
have to do the one thing that I love more than anything about Jenn, she loves
to prepare and simply, that’s what it takes. Anyway, after squats and Jenn
being in the lead, I knew she had what it took to go 3-3 in the bench and once
the bar hit the floor, based on what I was seeing and what I had researched
about each lifter, no one could beat her as long as she kept her composure. I
repeated that to her. It was 3 words. Composure, patience and execution and
every now and then I’d say something about precision but, this day was about
staying composed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jenn went on to go 3-3 in the bench and that kept pace with
her closest competitor Maria Htee. They both hit 100kg and for Jenn, the 100
was a big get and going 3-3 with no issues or hiccups. 6-6, all white lights
and a 2 kg lead going into pull. All warm ups were silky smooth and lots of
power. I have told Jenn since the first day, I know you love squat and think
it’s your best lift but, to me, when the bar hits the floor, it is her time to
shine and she is a great, world class puller. I knew that the gamesmanship
would come into play and what the other lifters didn’t know, how the day went
through squat and bench played right into our hands and put us exactly where we
wanted to be save we didn’t anticipate a lead. The only thing Jenn ever asked
and it came abruptly out of nowhere and we’ve since chuckled about it, WADE!
Everything looks ok, right? I mean, she is 6-6 and a lead, I just nodded and
said everything was great. I had to quell my excitement all day long and it got
harder as each lift attempt was hit. It was time to pull. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The thing that struck me at this meet, not only with the
57’s but the 47 and 52 classes were how heavy the openers were. I am all about
and teach and coach rhythm in lifting. Get an opener that is solid and gets you
a number in and gives you a good platform for your 2<sup>nd</sup> and 3<sup>rd</sup>
attempts. When I saw the order, I felt like the contenders were too heavy for
an opener and again, quelling more excitement, felt this played into our
strength. The ability to check the go and make lifts. Jenn pulls her opener and
it’s super-fast and easy, we went to 187.5 and we knew that it would make it so
to beat Jenn, 200+ would have to be pulled. I knew Jenn had a 195 and could break
the 190.5 world record. We played the game with attempts and eventually, Maria
went for her 3<sup>rd</sup> and on this day, it was simply too much and gold
was Jenn’s. She yelled, not knowing weight selection, “Wade, I want to go 9-9”
and I said, you are, you can pull this. And she did but it was turned down and
the only 2 reds she received all day. Honestly, based on video, I took it much
harder than she did. We smiled, a brief hug and it was off for her to change
and get ready for testing. There were lots of handshakes and hugs. I took a
minute to walk away, it was an emotional experience as it came back to all the
moments it took to get Jenn to this point. All the changes and growth and just
everything. I was all of the sudden just winded. I bent down, hands on my knees
and took a minute. SiouxZ came and asked if I was ok and I said yes and she
said, “Jenn needs you, NOW” and here came Shorty. She hit me head on and just
cried and I teared up. I knew what this meant to her. As a coach, there is
nothing better than to see a dream and goal achieved. What a huge achievement
and, for her to want me to be a part of it, it goes well beyond saying it is
and was an honor. What a cool thing. Lots of memories and a goal achieved. When
she went up for her golds and they played the national anthem, the tears flowed
for all of us. I can’t even express how it felt to see that and watch it. Once
all the thanks and the handshakes and hugs are done, Jenn and I walk back and
she even asks if I was just spent. I think she could tell. I got her to her
room, went to mine and had 3 bourbons so I could chill out. I messaged Jenn and
she was at the bar and in true Shorty and Ogre fashion, our way to celebrate,
pizza and some beers and it was fitting. We met with her parents and walked out
to this odd little place and ate and drank more and I was done. I headed back
to the room and the next day, it was time for me to fly to Detroit to coach my
Missy and my boy Thad. Our little gym has an IPF world champion and a top 10
finisher in the men’s Light HWT masters nationals and the women’s masters’
strongman nationals were Missy placed 3<sup>rd</sup>. A podium in her first
nationals. Thad placing 6<sup>th</sup> achieved the goal of breaking into the
top 10. All that was left was to get up the next morning and drive home from
Detroit to our little gym/home in Mt. Juliet TN. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As a coach, I couldn’t be more proud for Jenn. As her
training partner, it’s fun and a blessing for me to watch it all unfold to see
her continue to grow and to improve and how infectious it is to the others
around her. I got messages from Aaron and Michael all day. The girls, Missy,
Cory and Damn Gina were in the gym with Power Your Own gear on cheering her on
as well as many of the Team Ogre online folks. What a great effort. What an
incredible result. It’s these things that continue to spur me on to work at this
and inspires me to continue to grow and improve as a lifter and as a coach. As
a gym owner, it just goes to show you, it can be a tiny little spot in the
middle of nowhere. It’s never the building or the gear that makes the gym.
Simply, it’s the lifters that train there. I continue to be blessed beyond
anything I deserve. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, what’s next? Cory is training for a qualifier and wants to join Jenn at nationals this year. Jon and Jodey expect to be there as they have
both qualified so, it looks like nationals will see team ogre in the house
again. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Aaron Thomas. AT and I
spent more time this cycle communicating and even some face time about
training, concerns, reports and other things. What a brilliant mind and, he
likes bourbon, too. I love, again, the total collaborative effort that went
into this. A lesson for all that lift, you do the lifting but, have really good
people around you for the thinking part. I’ll take this team into a meet
anytime and anyplace and I like our chances. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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So, be on the lookout. There is more training, planning and
scheming to come. I’ll say it again, I truly believe, the best is yet to come. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Lift heavy, train smart & eat more pizza<o:p></o:p></div>
Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-84916414781314400972017-07-03T08:54:00.000-05:002017-07-07T13:19:12.535-05:002017 IPF Worlds Recap<div style="text-align: left;">
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it"-Jordan Belfort</div>
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This is my bullshit story. </div>
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Going into The Arnold, I'll admit I was pretty confident. After what I thought was a pretty conservative meet at Raw Nationals, I wanted to take some riskier attempts. After my less than stellar performance, totaling only 5kgs over my current total, my perspective on meet day execution came back into full focus. While I was disappointed in my performance at The Arnold, it was exactly what I needed going into training for Worlds. </div>
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At The Arnold, I was flat. Super flat. Did not feel strong at all. After it was all said and done, I believe the flatness was from the weight cut. I got pretty heavy after Nationals and was bringing it down to the wire to make weight. I also weighed in really light (55.something) but the wilks carrot was dangling a little bit. </div>
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So beginning my training for Worlds, I have a few strategies I've settled on. </div>
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1) Body weight. I was determined not to get to any heavier than 130 pounds and not have to be in a caloric deficient the entire training cycle. While it wasn't as smooth sailing as I pictured in my mind, it was certainly better than the previous meet.</div>
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2) Deadlifts. I love the squat. It's my favorite lift and my best lift. After studying my competitors, I knew if I could stay within reach of them during squat and bench, I could take them on the deadlift. So much of my focus was to ensure I had a huge pull. Which in hindsight is ironic, but more on that later. </div>
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3) Not showing all my cards. Once things started getting heavy, I decide not to post every detail of my training. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely wanted to post some of my big lifts. However, I didn't want my training videos to end up being the most exciting thing about Worlds. I wanted the platform to be where the work was displayed. </div>
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Traveling.<br />
(this is not about lifting, this is the bullshit story, feel free to skip to the actual lifting part)</div>
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I won't bore you with all the ridiculous details of making arrangements for this trip, but it seemed like there was a lot of red tape to get into Belarus. </div>
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The day is here that we finally leave for Belarus. I've got my husband, my Mom, my Dad, and Wade in tow. While we aren't completely inexperienced with international travel, we aren't veterans by any means. So, the stress is a little high as we begin this journey. </div>
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We board our first plane in Nashville to fly to Chicago. The seats are weird and for some reason I am not seated next to my husband. So I move to find my seat, leaving him in his. The plane isn't full and the fly attendant tells me I can sit where I like. I ask if my husband can sit next to me, she says yes, and Michael shuffling all his things comes back to sit with me. </div>
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Long story short, Michael loses his passport between Nashville and Chicago. I considered seeing if a divorce were possible in the Chicago airport but we didn't have enough time between flights. I don't think I cried for the first hour because I was still holding onto hope it would magically reappear. No one in the airport seems to have any answers as to what steps to take next. </div>
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Ultimately, a woman at the Finnair counter gave us some answers. I knew Michael wouldn't be getting on the flight with me, I just needed a plan. So, she helped us there and I have to leave him in the airport. I'm crying now, so is he, and I also need to find a water fountain because I'm in the middle of a water load. </div>
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As bad as I feel, I know that I can't possibly feel as bad as he does. So, in an attempt to pull it together, I look at him (I may have shook him or hit him) and said, it's going fine.....just fix it....I'm still going to win.</div>
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I leave him there in the airport. Hands down, one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever had to do. When it comes to trauma and dealing with it, I'm reclusive. I prefer to go to a dark cave and be left alone until I figure it out, BY MYSELF, with no one. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be touched, I don't want sympathy, I want solitude. </div>
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I'm on the other side of security now, filling up my gallon jug of water because I've still got to make weight. The fountain is incredibly slow and not conducive to gallon jugs. There are people behind me waiting their turn. My mother is standing there, staring at me. WHERE IS MY CAVE?</div>
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I'm not great at travelling. Generally speaking, planes, trains, and automobiles, make me physically ill. My husband knows this about me, so he treats me like a queen during this part of life. So, this chunk was hands down the most difficult for me. I cried nearly the whole day. I cried when I thought of a joke I would make to him or him to I. I cried every time I saw a significant sign. I cried picking out a movie to watch on the plane. I cried watching the movie. I just kept crying. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. So many people saw me crying.<br />
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Arrived.</div>
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I needed to get to my room so I could get it together. My room was far, far away. We finally make it to our hotel. However, the stress isn't over just yet. Michael works for The Hilton and gets a significant discount which is the ONLY reason we were able to book the rooms at this very nice hotel. We have three rooms booked under Michael's name who is lost in Chicago. </div>
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Luckily, the hotel staff is quite nice and understanding. I explain to them what happened and that Michael would hopefully be here soon. This is Monday. I go up to my room, cry some more because the room and hotel are both so nice and we have an incredible view. Then I shower, get some clean clothes on, and meet Wade to go find some water and food. </div>
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The hotel may have saved my life on this one. It was so nice and the food was so good that I at least took comfort in nice accommodations. Wade and I go to the store, a bit more overwhelming than I anticipated, but we manage. Then we go to the restaurant in the hotel. I'm a bit stressed about what I'm going to be able to eat and still make weight especially after the trip to the grocery. Beef tenderloin and roasted mushrooms. Glass of red wine. Praise the sweet baby Jesus for this meal. I have it every night until I compete. </div>
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I go up to my room and take some Advil PM and sleep soundly. Wake up the next morning (Tuesday) and go down to the coffee shop and get a latte. Also, life changing. I finally feel stable enough to at least let people know I've made it to Belarus. Still no word on if/when Michael will be joining us. </div>
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I Still Have to Compete.</div>
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I begin to see people from the team and from other countries. So it starts sinking in that I still have to compete! Though it's all still just a bit eerie, all of it. In this country, time is faster it seems like. It never gets dark. Every time I woke up, I felt like I had breakfast and suddenly it was 2pm. </div>
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Tuesday. Wade and I have to go get our credentials. We are off to find the venue on foot and go the complete opposite direction. We eventually figure it out and make it to the office and venue. Now things are really sinking in as I walk through the warm up room seeing my competitors. I see some guys in USA garb and ask them if everyone is done for the day and if I will be able to train. They introduce themselves and tell me they are coaches. We chat a bit and they make mention of Canada being my major competitor. Now, the nerves start setting in.</div>
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I've got a light training session I need to get in, so I run back to my room, change my clothes and head back to the venue. I wish I could say that I wasn't a nervous frantic mess during this session but that would be a lie. Maria Htee is on the other side of the room training and quite honestly, I'm feeling like a train wreak. Marisa and Chad walk into the warm up room. I haven't told anyone what has happened with Michael. I tell Marisa almost immediately and it actually felt nice to just get it off my chest. </div>
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Finish up the training session and check my weight on the competition scale. All good there, a little under. Time to eat. Go back to the restaurant and have the same meal only add bearnaise sauce. At this point Michael had booked another flight and was due to be there Wednesday afternoon. Only I noticed he booked through Russia which requires a transit visit, so he canceled that flight. In the mean time, I finally caved and emailed SiouxZ asking for help. There aren't many options as far as flights and what we can afford. I suggest he books to Lithuania and take the train in. I sleep terrible this night. Waking up at 1am and am not able to fall back asleep until 5am or so. </div>
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Wednesday. Somewhere in here, SiouxZ tells me that Michael will not be able to enter the country via train without a freakin Visa. The Visa free travel is only valid when entering through the airport. SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE. At this point, I'm over it, my frustrations are quite high and I really just want to be a powerlifter and not a travel agent. </div>
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My bodyweight is still well under and I compete the next day. I sip water all day, keeping it under a liter. I eat eggs and toast for breakfast annnnnnnnnnnd another latte. I head over to watch the 47's and 52's. In the break between the two, I grab some lunch. A grilled ham and cheese sandwich, a brownie thingy, and maybe another latte. I notice a major difference in countries when choosing attempts. I watch my teammates Heather and Marisa both take gold. The pressure is on. </div>
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I'm feeling quite stiff and sore all over. I go to the fitness room and stretch, do some random dumbbell stuff and feel much much better. I go have dinner and have the same meal. Beef tenderloin, roasted mushrooms, bearnaise sauce. Pop some Advil PM around 9pm, because I don't want to risk not being able to sleep again. </div>
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During the 47's and 52's there were a lot of dropped deadlifts. I am told not to use the chalk. Some rumors there was baby powder put in it, but who knows. I think it was gymnastic chalk, so a little more slippery than we are used to and not in block form. Wade suggests we get some rubbing alcohol to dry out my hands. Turns out, a first aid section does not exist in Belarus. So that's a no go. I eat a cookie and go to bed.<br />
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Competition Day</div>
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I slept great and wake up on my own at 5:55am. Check my body weight, well under at 55.6. I go down to breakfast and have some quiche and a latte. I can't stop drinking lattes. Go to my room and shower, stretch, and leisurely get ready. 8:30am, check my weight. 57.1. I done fucked it up. I freak out for about 7 minutes, but then go ahead and get completely naked and check again, 56.9. Panic is over now, but I still shoved about eight pieces of gum in my mouth and spit just in case. </div>
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I Think, You Lift</div>
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Arrive at the venue at 9:30am to go through equipment check. SiouxZ arrives as well and immediately starts giving me all the information about where to go, what to do, etc. On meet day, for me anyway, my brain doesn't work much so it's nice when you have people there to tell you what to do. I'm one of the last ones to weigh in, maybe the last one, and have the lot number advantage. Weigh in at 56.14, the heaviest I've ever weighed in. </div>
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Going into this meet, as I thought about attempts and my competitors, I knew winning would be about making attempts. Our numbers were so close (at least I knew they were even if no one else did), I knew one missed attempt would be EXTREMELY hard to come back from. When I first started training at Wade's gym, he said to me, "I think, you lift", and much like almost everything he has said, it just took me a while to get it. My plan for Worlds was to lift and to leave the thinking to the amazing coaching staff I had with me. </div>
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From the moment I walked into that venue, Wade, Matt, and SiouxZ make a fuss over me which is something I'm typically uncomfortable with but I just do what I'm told. Which was great. They told me where to stand, when to walk somewhere, when to start warming up, when to pee, when to drink, when to stand up but then left me alone. Which was great, because remember, I'm reclusive. Literally, all I had to do was lift weights. I'm good at lifting weights. </div>
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I start warming up for squats and hit two red plates. From here, I knew it was on. Aaron freakin Thomas, has nailed the peak even better than we've managed to do in the past. My squat warm ups have never felt this good and I am so cautiously enthusiastic. </div>
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Based on opening attempts, I <i>think</i> I'm ranked fourth. I had a plan and that's exactly what I expected to happen so I'm not intimidated by that at all. I fully expected to be out squatted if myself, Htee, and Filimonova all go 3/3. While I'm not exactly sure of who missed what, I ended up closing out squats with the heaviest attempt. I knew going into to my third attempt that I absolutely had to have it to play the game. I had no idea what Wade and the coaching staff called until I was walking onto the platform.</div>
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When it comes to making lifts, I've learned that you must impose your will on the weight. Be as technical as possible, but if something goes wrong, just fix it and finish the lift. My opening attempt, the rack height was wrong. I don't care, I'm not rattled by that. I tell them (and myself), it's going to be fine....just fix it....I'm still going to win. </div>
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Third attempt. World Record. Moves me to the number one spot. I mess up the walk out. It's going to be fine....just fix it....I'm still going to win. Three white lights. I'm in the lead going into bench. Not what I expected to happen but still have work to do.</div>
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Attempts were 157.5kgs, 167.5kgs, 174.5kgs. </div>
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My bench has been temperamental and I haven't managed to show what I'm actually capable of so it's been very frustrating for me. This training cycle Aaron has walked the line of keeping my shoulders happy while also bringing the weights back up to par. We also widen my grip a bit and make that the competition grip. I believe going into bench I was 2kgs ahead. Not much. So it was absolutely imperative that I get every attempt. </div>
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Warm ups feel good but not as good as squats. I've had some issues with the booty staying down and ask SiouxZ to tell me if it's up in the warm up room. It's not perfect but some cuing here and there and it's time to make it happen. Htee and I have the exact same attempts. I was pretty nervous after the second attempt and I loathe bench in meets because I can never seem to get it right. So I was doing some pretty intense self talk before the third attempt.</div>
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The third attempt bench may be my favorite lift from the entire meet. I know I have a pretty decent bench, I just haven't been able to prove it. I finally freakin proved it AND I got all white lights. Redemption has never felt so good or come at a better time. </div>
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Attempts were 92.5kgs, 97.5kgs, and 100kgs. GAH, so pumped about typing those numbers. </div>
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So far, we've done exactly what we set out to do. Going 6/6 into deads is PRECISELY what I planned. Now we pull. Opener is no problem. Wade calls 187.5kgs for the second attempt, which is slightly under what we had planned, but like I said, I'm just doing what I'm told. I make that lift no problem. Htee missed her 2nd attempt but she also missed her 2nd attempt squat and came back to get it, so I knew I couldn't count my chickens just yet. As I said earlier, I had the lot number advantage so all I had to do was <i>make </i>the third attempt if Htee made hers. However, it turned out that I wouldn't even need the third attempt to win. </div>
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I wanted to go 9 for 9. I looked at Wade, having no idea what was called for my third attempt and said, I want to go 9 for 9. He said, we only put on there what we know you can get. So I walked onto the platform and pull. It was heavy but I just kept pulling. I should have emptied my bladder before the third attempt. A rookie mistake! The meet was moving so fast I just didn't think I had time. I do end up standing up with the weight and pee all over the platform (so embarrassing, I can't believe I'm even including it!) and get the down command. Two red lights for downward motion. We attempt to challenge but to no avail. It would have given me the deadlift world record and the wilks world record. But I suppose the gold medal, a world record squat, a world record total, and best female lifter will do....for now. </div>
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Michael Millican is still globe trotting and not yet in Belarus. I go to room and chat with Aaron and family about the win, change my clothes and head to the hotel bar. I see some other lifters and get to chat with them a bit which was nice since my person is somewhere stuck in an airport and Wade was still drinking bourbon in his room. </div>
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We continue the celebration and go to a super weird restaurant down the road. Get back to the hotel and Liz Craven and her friends allow me to crash their dinner and talk about the meet. I had the meet of my life and it was difficult not having Michael there so sitting with Liz and chatting about it was clutch.<br />
<br />
Training and the process is important. Following the process and being consistent is imperative to getting better at this sport. That being said, none of that matters if you can't put it together on meet day. On this day, I was able to that. I don't know how things would have gone had Michael been able to be there. Did I achieve mental super compensation because of the over reaching at the airport?? Hahahaha..........maybe I did just that.<br />
<br />
MY NAME is Jennifer Millican and I am an IPF World Champion. </div>
Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-72827881065341255582017-04-05T14:30:00.001-05:002017-04-05T14:30:35.674-05:00A coach's perspective on the Arnold 2017 USAPL Grand Prix<div class="MsoNormal">
The coach’s take…<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have waited a bit for any type of take. This was Jenn's moment and she didn't need me butting in but, hopefully, you will find this interesting and also learn, not only does the lifter have to learn, the coach does as well and, this meet was no exception. </div>
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The 2017 Arnold was a tremendous experience for our little
team of people. Jenn had her husband, Aaron and me in attendance, which was a
first. But first, let’s rewind a bit. After nationals, I realized what a
whirlwind of a year Jenn had as a lifter and now, we were looking at topping
it, so to speak. Let me be the first to say, that is very hard to do. To win
your class and be best lifter at the SPF women’s meet and then USAPL nationals
is a career year yet, here we are, plotting to do that and more for 2017. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jenn and I had lots of conversations about goals. I became
much more interested in the weekly programming than before so, I gave my input
to Aaron about my concerns. I’m always concerned. See, when Jenn wanted to cut
to 114, I was not for it. It had me worried. Then I found out it was Aaron’s
idea and I wanted to dump him on his ass. Weight cuts like that can be dicey
when the person is usually having to cut to make the class above. And of
course, as usual, my vision doesn’t always align with the lifters. It’s just a
gift, a knack, if you will. I think Jenn would also tell you I had no issue
voicing my “concerns”. But, to her credit, she did it and hit some crazy lifts
and that was that. I have strongly urged all parties to never do that again…but
I digress.Training started slow…slow! I hate time off. I hate it as a
coach and a lifter. I’m very much about getting back to business. Yay, you won
ok, fun’s over. Now, that is not for everyone and, if I have one regret in my
career, it is that I didn’t enjoy it enough. I’d lift, focus on what went wrong
so I could correct it and back to the gym. So, while I wouldn’t say I’m lax on
this now, I do understand taking a few days…that said, the science is simple,
within 72 hours of inactivity, that is 3 DAYS!!!, strength loss occurs and
atrophy begins. So, let’s get back to work. And like I said, it started slow.
It’s hard to come back from a year like 2016. Everything went well, even when
we were conservative, it went well. It’s hard to top it, very hard. Jenn didn't take any time off but, it was slow to get it rolling...at least for me it was...</div>
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Once we got
in the flow, it started really flowing well. Lifts occurred and many pr’s were
set. I won’t go into detail about the training but, it went as well as I could
hope. There were a few things that I’d like to share that took place that
really make this entire experience very cool. <br />
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I’m not sure how far out we were, say 10 weeks. Jenn could
tell you. Anyway, I get a message from Shorty saying something to the effect
that hey, Rogue wants to come out and do some video of me, is that cool? Well,
of course it is! Let me first say, I am not sponsored in any way nor is anyone
that trains at the Ogre Compound but, I am a fan and I wasn’t always. But, I
have several products and I love them. I had seen some of the videos from the
year before of the Road to the Arnold and this is what they wanted to do with
Jenn. It was very cool and exciting. Those guys did tremendous work. They made
the gym look great, hard to do, they did a great job on Jenn and I was so very
proud and happy for Jenn, our team and gym. There was a lot of exposure from
that. It was a very positive and pleasant experience. It wasn’t but a few weeks
later that I got another message from Jenn. A local Nashville news station
wanted to come out and do a piece on Jenn as well. How cool is that? Inside Sports
Sunday, Joe Dubin from WSMV channel 4 came out super duper early and filmed and
interviewed Jennifer and I. It was cool Joe did a great job and let me say this
about Joe, I listen to him almost daily on the radio on the Greg Pogue and Big
Joe show. Joe is very much what you see is what you get and I like and respect
that and, I’d go drink a beer and/or bourbon with him. That for me, is all I
needed so, getting to meet him and talk and hang out and then show him my
bourbon collection, cool stuff. All this leads to having some great coverage
and positive vibes going into the last few weeks of training.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jenn hit some really good lifts and everything seems to be
on track save perhaps the weight cut. Jenn wasn’t way over but over and went
into her typical water cut the week of. All went well the week of, lifts were
crisp but, not as dynamic as the previous few weeks but, I wasn’t concerned. It
was time to pack up and head to Columbus. Now, the Arnold is a different
experience especially as an athlete. The timing is different, the warm up areas
are tight and busier than most venues and there is a lot of stuff going on that
can be very distracting. It had been a number of years since I had been to the
Arnold and once we got to the warm up area, it came flooding back how tight the
area was and it was going to be close quarters. Jenn weighed in and weighed in
a 122…yikes, that was a bit more dramatic than I wanted. Just the way it goes
sometimes. But, weight was made, she was eating and hydrating and we were waiting
for warm ups to begin. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Once we got to the warm up area, I had forgotten the chaos
of such a tight quartered area. It ultimately was a team effort of all the
coaches to get all the ladies mainly on one platform so we could load and spot
and smoothly get the ladies through warm ups. I have to say, it was great to
see us all be competitive as coaches but, for the sake of the lifters, all
cooperate and do what was best for them. Warming up was going good and then
they did introductions that seemed to take for forever. Jenn had one last warm
up and all went well. It was go time. I wish, at this point, I could remember
anything I said to Jenn. I don’t, I can’t remember a damn word. I’ll attempt
now to go over the lifts as best I can. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Squat-warm ups went good, everything seemed on point.
Attempt 1, 157.5/347.2, wasn’t as crisp as I</div>
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wanted but was easy, we went to
the planned 2<sup>nd</sup>, 167.5/369.2 and it was about the same. She came to
hit the world record. She had hit it in training with room to spare. I really
thought hard on just going to 170 and securing the weight and to help build the
total but, I knew how bad she wanted it and so long as her form was sound, it
was a doable lift. I had seen it in training and knew she had it in her…that
way my mistake. I called for the record, 174.5/384.7. The load and set up was
great. Down she went and started up and looked great and I knew she would stick
but, she can grind. Once she stuck, the bar rolled and pushed her to her toes
and I knew it was a miss. Lesson
learned, always go with my gut as it had Jenn’s best interest in mind. Still,
we were in the hunt. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On to bench…again, everything looked great in warm ups. The
opener was 87.5/192.9. Easy enough so I called for the planned 2<sup>nd</sup>
of 92.5/203.9. She had a wrap issue and the jury alerted the head judge to it
and there simply wasn’t enough time to rewrap. She was timed out. Not unlike
nationals, I knew she had more in her but, I needed a for sure. So, I called
for 95/209.4. I was confident and secure in that and although she grinded a
little, it was a clean and solid lift. Another lesson learned. Always check the
lifters gear. Even at a raw meet. It’s the little things, the devil is in the
details and I simply took it for granted. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On to deadlift…let me add here, all 4 lifters were very
close. Heather Connor had an injury that took her out of money contention but,
not out of world records. It was crazy how record after record fell and how
positive they were with and for each other. Okay, the opener. We planned on
167.5/369.2. It was easy and I felt like this was a world record day for the
pull. I called the planned 2<sup>nd</sup> attempt of 180/396.8 and it was
equally easy. I wanted the bigger deadlift, get the world record and put the
pressure on for the 1<sup>st</sup> place money but, Jenn wanted to secure the
world record total and the total is the priority and I knew she had the record
in her but, I went with the call of 187.5/413.3 and that was enough to secure
the total world record and second overall. That was my 3<sup>rd</sup> mistake.
I knew she had the deadlift in her and should have called for it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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With all that said, what a great job by the USAPL, the
Arnold Festival and Rogue. It was a very fast paced meet, judging was solid and
everyone was great in the back warming up the lifters and making sure they had
what they needed. The day belonged to Marisa Inda, 9-9 doesn’t come easy or
often and she had a great day. Congrats to her and her coach Chad Wesley Smith.
Liz Craven was a very close 3<sup>rd</sup> and just a delight to see lift and
simply to be around. Heather Connor was 4<sup>th</sup>. Now, let me put this in
perspective. These 4 had totals that gave them, 4<sup>th</sup> through 1<sup>st</sup>,
a wilkes score of, Heather 4<sup>th</sup>-508.65, Liz 3<sup>rd</sup>-531.31,
Jenn 2<sup>nd</sup> with-532.72 and winning, Marisa with-538.06. All the
coaches, myself included, marveled and were blown away by these scores. All
four were tested as well. Again, ladies, well done and congrats. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As for my part, I have work to do. I have to be better. A
better call on squat and an insistence to go for it on pull, may have been the
difference maker. I also have to watch and not take for granted anything when
it comes to equipment. I will pay attention going forward, you can count on
that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As coach, I couldn’t be happier for Jenn. What she and her
counterparts did, was hopefully begin blazing a trail for a pro outlet for
powerlifting. It sure is a step in the right direction. The meet was fast
paced, well run and judged tight. There was excitement and a great crowd.
Records fell and pr’s were set and in the end, she had a shot at winning and
that’s all anyone can ask for. As her training partner and pal, seeing her
husband Mike there and all her family, was a joy to watch. They support her so
much and truly speaks to being “the Gasoline” that she is always referring to.
Having Mike, Aaron and myself in one spot at the same time was a great thing
and I’m sure, really great for her. I, in turn, got to do bourbon talk with Mike and Aaron and that is always fun for me. All her team mates were constantly checking
scores and messaging and I simply couldn’t be more proud. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, what does that mean now? It means, time to get back to work
and we are already in the ending days of the first block---getting ready for
the IPF Worlds in Belarus. All of this has been quite an experience and I think
Shorty said it best a few days ago once our passports had both arrived, “did
you ever think when I walked in the gym door that you and I’d be getting on a
plane to Belarus?” I’ll answer this here. At the time, I saw someone that
needed a gym and some direction. That’s really it. Did I think she was special?
I didn’t know but, I knew by her actions, her words and her eyes that she was
damn serious. It has been quite a journey from that day but, there is much more
ahead and I’m just blessed to be part of it. All of my girls are special. They
all have such a remarkable story and I’m so glad and excited to be part of it.
This day, it was Jenn and I’m even more excited about what is to come and
watching her continue to grow and continue to improve as a lifter. So, watch
and keep an eye out, the best is yet to come. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For all of you that have supported Jenn's efforts by buying a shirt, the messages you have sent to her and even me, thank you, really, thank you. This is something that noone can do by themselves and for those of you that have helped, I feel i can speak for Jenn at this moment and simply say thank you. </div>
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So keep an eye out. I am always posting videos on the Facebook, Insta and Twitter and youtube. Until I decide to do this again, Lift heavy, Train Smart & Eat More Pizza!</div>
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Bigwadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13817349897212912676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-12743872760446668252017-03-20T19:24:00.000-05:002017-03-20T19:27:35.933-05:00Power Your Own: The Definitive GuideIf you've wondered what Power Your Own means, what it stands for, what it's all about.....this is it. <br />
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Power Your Own: The Definitive Guide<br />
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1. Individual Greatness<br />
All of these are going weave in and out of one another, so bear with me. At it's very core, Power Your Own is about achieving YOUR individual greatness. Whatever that looks like. And you can't do it for anyone but yourself. So cliché right? <br />
<br />
When I first walked into to Wade's gym, I had been lifting for a couple of years and had a very clear idea of what my goals were. I am going to make this story extremely short to get to the point but understand that I am leaving A LOT out. There was most definitely some tug of war between Wade and myself and I spent way too much time wondering if what I was doing was pleasing Wade (hint: it wasn't) and if he thought I was a good lifter and if he cared I read so much and tried so hard and all the other things (I can say now that he probably did). I was so caught up in this that I lost sight of my why. <br />
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My why is pretty simple. I love this freakin sport and I know that I am capable of topping the charts. Now, that is extremely over simplified and it has so much more to offer than that. However, when I first started, I thought, I can be one of the best and I do chase that...AND I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. <br />
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Now, when I got frustrated enough, I remembered my why and then I let the rest go. I went into to the gym and wanted to crush every training session when I knew why I was there. I was there because I was (am) chasing MY greatness and nothing more. I wasn't chasing anyone else's approval, I wasn't chasing sponsorships, I wasn't chasing praise from my coaches or training partners, I was chasing my ceiling. That's my why. <br />
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My greatness is only mine. Only I can determine it. Only I can define it. Only I can accomplish it. I believe whole heartily that we all have a "greatness" that exists within us, some of us uncover it, but so much of it gets buried in feelings, fear, pleasing others, self doubt and time!<br />
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Holy shit! How much power do we hand over to Father Time on a fucking silver platter?!?! Seriously, THINK of all the things, all the ideas we've handed over because we don't have time (so lame), because we're too old, too young, the timing just isn't right, not enough time, just need a little more time, because it's not Monday, or it's the end of the year.......ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! JUST TAKE ONE STEP. Then do it again.<br />
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What is greatness? Greatness is achieving what you know yourself to be capable of. That's how I define it. If that means getting the promotion at work, perfect. If that means benching a plate, love it. If that means stepping foot into a gym, wonderful. If that means not eating bananas for a year, spectacular! I don't care what it is that you want to achieve, I care zero percent. I care that you take the first step. I care that you remain committed. I care that you remember your why. That is individual greatness.<br />
<br />
2. <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2016/12/winning-how-to-guide-for-2017.html">All We Do is Win</a><br />
I wrote a how to guide on winning. I'll hit the high points here. So, we've determined what greatness is, now we win it! Winning is determining what you want to achieve, then making a plan (with dates and deadlines), and then TAKING ACTION. We must, must, must take action. At the end of the day, the actions that were taken are the only things that matter.<br />
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Intentions-DON'T MATTER<br />
<br />
Efforts-DON'T MATTER<br />
<br />
Feelings-DON'T MATTER<br />
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Success-DON'T MATTER<br />
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Failure-DON'T MATTER<br />
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Ask yourself, did you or didn't you? While all of the aforementioned things are great sentiments, they don't really matter.<br />
Great intentions are just that. Intentions; and who the hell remembers those except the owner of said intentions?<br />
Efforts are efforts. Some people try really hard and achieve little success, some people don't try at all and achieve great success, none of that really matters.<br />
Feelings SEEM to matter A LOT at the time, but at the end of the day I'm left with the actions I took because I did or did not let my feeling manipulate me.<br />
Success. DOESN'T MATTER.<br />
Failure. DOESN'T MATTER.<br />
<br />
What matter's is what you did! Did you or didn't you? Did you follow your why? Did you become a better person? Did you learn more about who you are? Did you fail miserably and wonder how the hell you got here? Did you become wildly successful and wonder how the hell you got here?<br />
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These questions matter because they emphasize the PROCESS! The process isn't laying in bed thinking about all the great things you're going to do. The process is the actions that were taken. The process is where the greatness happens.<br />
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3. <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2016/06/feelings-and-why-they-dont-matter.html">Feelings Don't Matter </a><br />
I am not going to spend a ton of time on this. Repeat after me: ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. They are not your friend. They are your manipulative, fair weather friend and they will take all of your greatness and not even flinch. They will take perfectly good relationships and destroy them. They will take a great training session and lead you to believe you suck. DON'T BELIEVE THEM. They are fleeting and are drug like. Remember your why, let your insignificant feelings pass over you and don't ever let them in the driver's seat of your actions. Spoken from heart break, poor decisions, and hard knocks.<br />
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4.<a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2016/02/power-your-own.html"> Comparison is The Thief of Joy</a><br />
We know what greatness is. We know how to win. We know feelings are dumb. Now we must have tunnel vision. The following should be read in your best Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Voice:<br />
-It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing!<br />
-It doesn't matter what societal standards are!<br />
-It doesn't what your family thinks!<br />
-It doesn't matter where you rank!<br />
-It doesn't matter if your form doesn't look like (insert some random name here)!<br />
What matters:<br />
-Are you taking action?<br />
-Do you remember your why?<br />
-Are you getting a little teeny tiny bit better?<br />
<br />
Whatever anyone else is doing/achieving/accomplishing/failing/slacking/ does not matter. Put the blinders on and get after your individual greatness.<br />
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You must be your own biggest fan. You must care the most about you. You must hold yourself the most accountable. You must compete. You must bring everything you have to the table. BUT, you must not compare.<br />
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5. <a href="http://poweryourown.blogspot.com/2016/09/be-gasoline.html">Be The Gasoline</a><br />
My children walked in the door a couple of days ago, begging me and/or my husband to blow up cheese puff. Cheese Puff is an inner tube that they have affectionately named and given life to. Cheese puff has been deflated since summer and they found him on their first day of spring break and they were eager to give him life once again.<br />
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I didn't blow up cheese puff and nor did my husband mostly, because, well, we didn't want to. We were busy doing things like cooking and laundry. However, I also very adamantly believe in giving children the gift of struggle. I knew they were quite capable of blowing up that inner tube, I also knew that it would require team work, patience, and perseverance.<br />
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They came in several more times, each trading off who would come in ask for one of us to do it for them. Each time we refused. I stared out of my kitchen window and watched them take turns filling the inner tube with their tiny lung capacity. I watched cheese puff begin to emerge once again. They were very close. Very, very close.<br />
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My daughter walks through the door. Defeated. Before she can say a word we say, "Taylor Ann! Did you see how big cheese puff has gotten?! Did you do that?! Did you and your brother work together to get cheese puff that big? I can't believe it! You're nearly done!"<br />
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Her face lit up. She marched outside full of pride and filled up cheese puff with every last breath she had.<br />
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The best part of this story, is how proud of herself she felt. I could see in her face. I could see it in her actions. I could see the belief in herself grow. We did nothing for her. She and her brother were 100 percent responsible for that success.<br />
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Imagine how big your greatness will get with just the tiniest bit of gasoline? Imagine what a gift you have to give to by providing one little sentiment of encouragement?<br />
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This is POWER YOUR OWN.<br />
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If you would like to support my journey to Minsk, Belarus to compete at IPF Worlds in June, click the link and grab a sweet shirt!<br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-87163204608430921392017-03-09T13:20:00.001-06:002017-03-09T13:20:29.521-06:00For the Love of The Game: 2017 Arnold Grand Prix RecapI'm not even sure where to start here......so I think I'll start where it started: the end of Nationals. Nationals drained me. I was feeling burnt out going into it and I was running on fumes afterward. The first few weeks back in the gym were terrible. Everything hurt and I felt super weak. So I did what every good powerlifter does and started eating and sleeping and generally slacking a bit in training. Eventually, I felt better. Nagging issues resided and my desire picked up. So did my body weight. It picked up all the way to about 140 pounds. Oops.<br />
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So, when I finally came out of the fog and decided on definitely doing The Arnold, I had almost the exact amount of time to make the cut back to my weight class. I considered going up a weight class for this meet, but it turned out that I would have the opportunity to set world records, so I decided to go for it.<br />
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Aside from bringing it down to the wire with my body weight, this training cycle was one of the smoothest cycles I've had to date. I hit all my numbers as written and I think I missed two reps the entire time (one was on overhead press, so does that even count?). My anxiety was pretty low and I was feeling confident about openers and planned attempts. But of course there is no coasting into a meet.....just when I think I'm gonna coast, I lose a bit of focus and confidence but I felt physically fine.<br />
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For this meet, because I didn't have to win, I wanted to focus on taking some less conservative attempt calls. Typically, I have attempts laid out and then almost always pull back the number on the thirds come game day. I pretty much stuck to this plan of taking heavier attempts; in hindsight, I'm not for it. Ha! Let's just say I've done it both ways, and I prefer getting more attempts rather than risking a missed lift. Not the first time I've learned this lesson.<br />
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I was invited to compete in the inaugural USAPL Grand Prix event at The Arnold Classic Sports Festival. The meet was formatted in which we were competing not by weight class but by formula. Something I've been thirsty for since I started this sport. As a competitor, I absolutely loved it. It was small, there was a huge crowd, the competition was fierce, and the hype was real.<br />
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I weighed in at 55.56kgs. Light. Lighter than I probably prefer. I did a water cut and this put me at about a five pound water loss when I really only needed about 2.5.<br />
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Squats. Squat warm ups feel ok. I was nervous, as per the usual. Being nervous always makes it hard for me to brace and get as tight as I want to for squats. In my mind I'm thinking it's just nerves and my strength will prevail. Opener, feels meh but I say it's fine, again believing my strength will show itself soon enough. Second attempt was much slower than I wanted. I ignore that. Tell Wade it felt fine. He said he was going for it then....I ignore my instincts to lower the planned third.<br />
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Third attempt. World record attempt. Miss. DUDE. When I unracked it, it was the best unrack of the day. I just knew I was going to put it up when I walked it out. I came out of the hole strong but pitched forward. I was so close to pushing it back and I felt the bar roll and then I was done. Failed. I knew then it would be a fight for my total goal of 455kgs.<br />
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Bench. Bench has been super annoying to me since Nationals. I've been struggling with my set up and chose my attempts pretty conservatively. I planned no risk with bench. But alas, bench is a bitch even when I try so hard to please it. Opener was no problem. Second attempt, get set up under the bar, ready for lift off and EVERYONE IS YELLING AT ME. I had no idea what was going on but they tell me to get up. My wrist wraps were too high on my wrists. I try to correct but get timed out before ever taking the lift.<br />
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Well shit. I absolutely had to have 95kgs or I was as good as dead. I knew that I could get that weight. It wasn't ideal, but I had to make it happen. So we go up. I get it and it's a bit of a grind. Either way, good lift and I am fired up. At this point, I just need to go after the world record total because it's the only thing within reach.<br />
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Nothing exciting for deads. Opener, fine. Second, fine. Felt very medium to me. Decided just to get enough for the world record total. All in all, my performance was pretty boring. HOWEVER, this meet was probably the most fun meet I've done for one reason: FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME.<br />
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The stage, the crowd, my competitors.....all of it, it was what I crave as a lifter. The ladies I was competing with are all amazing lifters. I wasn't paying too much attention to scores but I do know they were pretty close throughout the competition.<br />
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Deadlifts may have been my absolute favorite because the pace was high and our attempts were so close that often times they weren't even changing weights. So much fun.<br />
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I know there was disappointment about the lack of live stream but I've got to tell you, the energy on that stage was amazing. As a lifter, I take this sport very seriously (duh). I can't nail down one specific reason why I love it so much. I just freaking love it. This meet, the atmosphere, the other lifters, the crowd, the stage, it felt like the sport had finally loved me back! HA! <br />
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I took second place to Marisa Inda who had a phenomenal day going 9/9. Some discussion on the socials about missing lifts and if strength is always the issue which provoked some thought. I say, more often than not, it is not a strength issue. We are all chasing that unicorn of a meet where it all comes together. Body weight, mental focus, attempt selection, equipment mishaps, strength, technique, all these little things that all add up to make the day you have. That's the game. Figuring out how to make it all come together exactly when you need it to. That's what I love and eternally chase. <br />
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I feel so lucky to have been able to experience this. Of course, there is no magic....I am keenly aware of the amount of work and desire that I have put into this to get me here. <br />
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All the thank you's:<br />
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My husband. I really just want to thank my husband for being an independent human. He doesn't get his feelings hurt when I obsess over this sport and start to get crazy a few weeks out (or all the time). Where this is a potential breeding ground for resentment and jealousy, he encourages me to be great at something by finding and pursuing his own greatness. He is the most rational person I've ever met and I am so glad he is mine. <br />
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My family. I am 34 years old and approximately 12 members of family came to watch me compete. That is something quite special. My Grandpa turned 80 years old on the day I was competing and was sitting in the audience. My nephew is 1.5 years old and he was in the audience. My Mom, my Dad, my sister, my aunts and uncles, friends of the family that I consider aunts, my grandparents. They all traveled, got rooms, woke up early, dealt with the crowds and all in support of me. My family at home that helped with keeping my children loved and taken care of while we were gone. #bethegasoline <br />
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Wade and Missy. I'm not the athlete you have to tell to work harder. I'm not the athlete you have to encourage to work on technique or study video. I've got all that covered. What I need is someone to teach me how to be a competitor. I need someone to help me navigate the mental fortitude it takes to compete on big stages and in big meets and deal with big success and big failure. Wade has realized this need and taken it by the horns. Thank you, Missy for being Wade's support system because this can be mentally draining for a person in Wade's position! <br />
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Aaron Thomas. When I said I was feeling terrible after Nationals, I wasn't lying. Aaron somehow knows how to write a program to get me out of my own way. Other things I like about working with Aaron are: he is always positive, he allows no room for bullshit, he does not micro manage, he does not ever let me believe that I am a special snowflake and he also makes me really strong! He also came to the meet! It was great to get to spend some time with Aaron. He is exactly the same as he is via text messaging. <br />
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USA Powerlifting and Rogue Fitness. Again, a great event and great marketing of the event. Rogue was the presenting sponsor. They came out and filmed a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QY3Ful2WW8">mini documentary</a> of my life before the event and then did a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLt4DroTkAo">piece of the actual event</a>. I've got to commend them on the final cuts of both pieces, both were very well done. Some of the protocols required to lift in this fed and at this level are a pain in the ass, no doubt. That being said, USA Powerlifting is putting resources into marketing and partnering with companies like Rogue and upholding professional standards that are helping grow the sport. You can't underestimate this. I encourage you to go to their <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/RogueFitness">youtube </a>page and check out the coverage of the USA Powerlifting events and share the videos, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME. If we want more prize money, bigger events, more sponsors, and more opportunities then the sport must reach a large audience and this is a huge vehicle. <br />
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My training partners of course! Team Ogre in the gym and online. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement! All of you that sent messages, made posts, spoke with me in person, thank you a million thank you's. <br />
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Not my best meet, not my worst. Happy, but never satisfied. 15 more weeks of chasing the unicorn.<br />
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Meet Videos -------> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/Jenniferannful">https://www.youtube.com/user/Jenniferannful</a><br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-18961351522248105462017-02-18T16:28:00.002-06:002017-02-18T16:29:50.939-06:00The Road to The Arnold is Paved with GratitudeSo some of you may have caught a glimpse of the little bio Rogue did on me as I prepare for my next meet, The 2017 Arnold Classic. I thought the final cut came out great and I am grateful that the light they shed was positive and somehow made me seem special and like I do something that is extraordinary. The response has been great overall, of course there are always a few rotten eggs, but nothing to write home about. The story they told focused on the intricate "balance" of having a marriage, some children, a career, and of course training.<br />
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A good majority of the feedback is centered around how "badass" I am for being a Mother and having a career and somehow finding the time and desire to go after these huge powerlifting goals. All of this is good, all of this is positive. Of course I can't help but reflect on what the road to the "Road to The Arnold" has been like and my reflections took me all the way back to my very early days of Mothering. The evolution of becoming a Mother is near and dear to my heart and new Mothers make me cry my eyes out at the drop of a hat. So I'm going to talk about that a bit.<br />
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I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Taylor Ann. I had a pretty good idea that I was pregnant a good while before science could tell me. I put off taking the test, because I will be candid and say that this was not planned and the anxiety was real. I put it off until I knew that it was very unlikely that I could get a wrong reading on the test. <br />
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On my lunch break, I left my office, stopped by Walgreens to pick up a test and then went to my glorious one bedroom apartment in a hip neighborhood in Nashville. You see, I was COOL. I had a job, I made decent money, had my little apartment, and did whatever I wanted literally ALL THE TIME. If I wanted to go to dinner on Monday, fine. If I wanted to go wander through Target on Tuesday at 8:17pm, done. If I wanted to eat hot fries and drink beer for dinner, great! I was happy with my life, I specifically remember thinking how I should soak this time in because it was precious and not likely to last forever.<br />
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I went into to the bathroom of MY apartment, and read the instructions on the test. It said to let the pee flow a little before putting the stick under and then wait 3 minutes and I would have my results. So I followed the instructions to a tee because that's just who I am as a person. POSITIVE. Wait! Where is my three minutes?!?!?!? I needed those! I needed those three minutes like I needed air in my lungs!<br />
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And that was the last time anything was ever truly mine.<br />
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When you are growing a human, it feels like a pretty important job. It sorta feels like someone's life depends on it. It's terrifying. The moment I got that positive test, my needs no longer mattered. I was serving this little tiny beautiful life and I took the job very seriously.<br />
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I don't want to be cynical, but society has somehow managed to take the 40 weeks of gestation and turned it into this period of torture and pain and I swear if women could get an epidural at 20 weeks at a drive through window the line would wrap the earth. I will admit that I had my own moments of resentment while pregnant, and I suppose that's normal.<br />
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My heart breaks a little when women get impatient and want to have the baby sooner. It only breaks because I know what is to come! I often say, it's easier to take care of them in there than it is out here. While you are pregnant, you are special. Friends and family pampered me, strangers talked to me (and touched me), people threw parties for me, it was a special time, as it should have been. I felt like a queen. A huge, water retaining, cookie eating queen. It was glorious.<br />
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Fast forward to baby having time. The birth of my daughter was long and did not go the way I planned (shocker, I know). I had so much family (gasoline) at the hospital waiting for me to have this baby, that they took up the entire waiting room. They were making friends with the staff, they were ordering pizzas and playing games.<br />
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After a long night and a long day, I finally managed to have my gorgeous little baby girl. Everyone came in the room. Someone was holding the baby and they all crowed around as I sit in the bed, alone, looking from across the room as they all coo over the new family member.<br />
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Motherhood is hard. Way harder than lifting weights. Way harder than anything I've ever done. When I became a Mother, I struggled with the picture that I painted in my mind of what is was suppose to be like and the vastly different reality that I was living. In the early days I made myself absolutely crazy by comparing myself to this 'ideal' that I quite frankly made up.<br />
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In my attempts to make everything absolutely perfect, I managed to bury the woman that lived in that apartment and that was happy with her life. The lines of being a Mother, being the woman before you were a Mother, and being the one that is both are blurry. On the one hand, I loved this little baby more than I can express, I loved the new life she breathed into my extended family, I loved how adorable she was and couldn't believe that I somehow had something to do with.<br />
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On the other hand. I was hungry. I was tired. I wanted to do whatever I wanted. I wanted hot fries and trips to Target at 8:17pm. I wanted to feel like myself again. But the truth is, becoming a Mother is shedding one skin for another. You're still you, but different. It took me sometime to learn who the Mother Jennifer was.<br />
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Because babies are babies, they don't know how to talk, dress themselves, feed themselves, or tell you thank you. They do cry and not sleep and eat and sometimes not eat and spit up and are very good at sending mixed signals. But, as the Mother, you are their person. You are the person they need the most. It's exhausting. It is a season of serving. It is a season of foregoing your own needs for those of your helpless little child who depends on you for their own life experiences. <br />
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After about 12 weeks off I returned to work. At first, it was great. I felt like a human again. I remembered that I could do stuff on an excel sheet. I could answer phones and use my brain to think about things and draw conclusions. That was pretty short lived. I was then hit with the stress and guilt and anxiety of someone else caring for MY baby. Then there was the whole nursing/pumping saga. The stress and pressure that I put on myself to be everything to everyone was too much and I was unhappy. From here, I try to find a combination of working and mothering that will work for my life. My children are 8 and 5 and I think I've finally nailed down the combination that works.<br />
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Fast forward to being pregnant with my second child....my Leo. I had moved away from family and was super sad about that for a few months. After that I adjusted and started to feel more confident. The process of moving away from everything I knew somehow forced me into shedding another layer and brought me closer to figuring out how to be me again. <br />
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While I was pregnant with our son, my husband started doing crossfit. He would come home and tell me these stories about the workout and how his name got circled because he won. His physique started looking super hot. He was in a good mood. He would talk about the women in the class and tell me how they couldn't do a pull up. I thought, I can do a pull up. So I thought that maybe after I had this baby, I would maybe give crossfit a shot.<br />
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I did in fact walk into a crossfit gym. I was terrified that another baby or poop would fall out of me the second I attempted to do anything that required any exertion. I was pretty sure I looked dumb and like a wet noodle at everything I was doing. I was terrified that my shirt would be covered in milk if I had to do any sort of running or jumping. But none of that happened at all. While I was never very good at anything that required endurance....if it required strength, I dominated. I did a push/pull and that was it. I was hooked.<br />
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It has taken some time and another move back home and some tears and some fights and few million career re-directions, and scheduling adjustments, and more scheduling adjustments, and early mornings, and late nights to get to this place I am now.....but I am here now.<br />
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I am writing this to say that as Mothers, we all face this same struggle. The struggle of giving it all away. The struggle of making the decision to work full time or not. The struggle to do something for ourselves. The struggle to consider our own needs. <br />
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Through these struggles, I have learned that I am no good when I am not happy. I have learned that I am a much better Mother and wife when I am well nourished, rested, feel loved, and feel confident. I learned that in order to love my family the most, I must take care of myself first.<br />
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I have been very intentional in the last three years of figuring out a combination of caring for my family, making money, and training that would somehow work for all of us. I found that when I defined what was most valuable to me, I could work backwards from there to put everything into place.<br />
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I knew that my time was of the most value. I knew that I did not want a position in which I was exchanging time for money. From here I was able to negotiate a position that allows me to work from home and work on a commission. This frees me up to pick my children up from school and avoid wasting my life sitting in traffic or driving across town for hours picking them up from various family members.<br />
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Training. Training is very valuable to me, but my time is more important. I train early in the mornings because carving out this niche of time while my family is still sleeping gives me the freedom to train without sacrificing too much parenting time. While I am training, I am free to be Jennifer. All the way just Jennifer. This is very important for the Mother Jennifer to be the Mother. Do I sound insane yet?<br />
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Being intentional about what I define as the most valuable to me has been life changing. I am surrounded by others that are also being intentional. I go to a gym at 5am in a man's basement! That means that everyday people go to this man's home at 5am! I am sure there have been times when Wade wanted to burn the gym down, but I assure is he intentional about the way that gym operates. I don't train alone, I train with a team. A whole team of people who have decided that they value training enough to be there at 5am too.<br />
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I have a husband who I know is intentionally supportive of my training and competing. I know that he is intentional because I can promise you there are times he wishes I were home in the mornings and that I would just be a normal wife and mother and didn't want to also be a powerlifter. You see, this means putting your feelings aside and being intentionally supportive. This is being the gasoline.<br />
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So while it may seem as though I am making a sacrifice and I am doing something extraordinary, I would beg to differ. I face the same struggle every Mother faces. I face the same struggle as the Mother who works full time because she wants to provide for her family or because she is a bad ass at her job or because she just loves it. I face the same struggle as the Mother who works full time in the home and wonders if she is doing enough. I face the same struggle as every Mother who has the inner dialogue between the woman she was before she was a Mother, the one she is as a Mother, and the one who is both.<br />
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I would say that getting up at 3:45am and heading to gym to train is far from a sacrifice and rather a privilege. To have this life that I have built, with the team of people who make it all possible is something that makes my heart burst with gratitude. To be able to care for my children, to have a career, to be able to pursue these crazy dreams.......what a privilege! A privilege that is well earned and well earned day after day.<br />
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So love your Momma! Cuz this shit is hard. <br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QY3Ful2WW8&t=329s">Road to The Arnold</a>Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3105733823051938380.post-36251614714850935302016-12-22T19:49:00.000-06:002016-12-22T19:49:10.557-06:00Winning: A How to Guide for 2017Before Nationals, we were told we could choose the music we wanted to lift to. At first, I hated this task and thought I would just not do it and let play whatever was playing. But I couldn't do that. I knew I'd have FOMO the moment the meet started and everyone else had cool music. So I come up with a playlist, and I was actually really proud of myself for doing it! I'm not a music person, so this was outside my comfort zone. The song that was to play on my second attempt deadlift, the lift that I had planned to put first place out of reach for anyone else was "All I Do Is Win" by Dj Khaled. Now I was having some fun with this but because the song was stuck in my head for the weeks leading up to the meet, I found myself saying it all the time. If I had a meeting at work, before I left the office, people would say good luck, I would say "all I do is win", so you get the idea. It has since been stuck in my head and taken on quite a few different meanings.<br />
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Fast forward to after actually winning the meet, all of my family and friends, there's all this buzz and chatter about going to world's and sponsorships, etc. So for a brief moment I get into it, I try to post more, hashtag more, build more of following, send some e-mails, you know important things. Obviously nothing much has come of it as far as a sponsorship goes, not to say it won't or that I've completely given up, but for now, that's where it stands. <br />
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The other night with my family, they are asking about sponsorship and make comments like "seems like it would be easy to get a sponsor, just tell them what you've done". That's when it hit me.<br />
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I have a small following (and I'm grateful for that), but compared to other athletes that may or may not rank as highly as I do, I'm really just a tiny little fish. I don't train or write programs for other lifters, I don't buy a ton of products or apparel, I'm not all that interactive with other lifters on the internet; I don't schmooze or network. It's just not my bag. I'm really just fine with that. <br />
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So I say to my family:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's not that easy, I don't have much to offer companies. All I do is win. </span></blockquote>
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The good news is I love winning and I love lifting and I love competing and I love getting better and I love my team and my people and love getting to be a part of them getting better. And that's enough for me. <br />
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So let's get to the point. What is winning? What do you define as winning? Winning is everything. You can decide that you are going to win anything and everything. Is winning just being number one? Is winning just beating your competitors? Is winning just having the most at the end of the day? Hell no. At least not how I define it.<br />
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Winning is taking the little idea that pops into your head and seeing it through. Winning is taking action NOW and not waiting until Monday or the first of the year. Winning is coming up with a plan and working the plan. Winning is NOT beating yourself up when you get off track or miss a rep or have a shitty session or shitty day at work. Winning is leaving all that behind and getting right back on the fucking horse. That's how you win. <br />
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Let me break it down for you.<br />
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1) Come up with a goal. I know you've thought of one.<br />
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2) Now, take it from your brain to real life. <br />
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3) MAKE A PLAN, MAKE A PLAN, MAKE A PLAN<br />
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4) Write that shit down. Get specific. Include dates. <br />
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5) Take action. NOW. <br />
Do not get stuck in the waiting place. The waiting place is a graveyard for losers and ideas that never became anything more than an idea. The waiting place is for quitters. That's not you. You are a winner and the time to win is now. <br />
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6) Beware of the feelings. <br />
You will have feelings and they will fall within the range of fear. Self doubt, failure, not good enough, like you've ruined it, like you suck, like you don't belong, like everyone is better than you. You will have days that you don't have feelings of motivation. Take those feelings and stomp them into the ground. Then stand on top of them as you do the things that you've you planned out to reach your goal despite your sweet little insignificant feelings. Repeat. Do that until you're standing on top of the goal you set. <br />
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7) Ignore everyone. <br />
All of your well meaning friends and family (bless them) will question you. All of their little feelings (fear) will come out when they ask you about how it's going and what you're doing to get there. Ignore them. You can teach them how to win by ignoring them and chipping away at your goal.<br />
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8) Roll with the punches.<br />
Things will happen. Things won't go exactly as planned. That's ok. It's 100% normal. What's not normal is making the adjustment and sticking to plan. Normal is quitting. Normal is the ever elusive "starting from a clean slate" which is usually the following Monday after a binge of not winning, which turns into the eternal restart. You're not normal anymore. That alone will put you into the winning category. <br />
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9) Do not give one single shit about failing<br />
Failing is absolutely not the worst that thing that can happen. If you follow steps 1-8, failing is not the end. It's only the beginning. The experience of getting after a goal and taking an idea from your mind to real life, that's fucking winning. It's way more bad ass to see someone fail, time after time and their spirit not be broken than to watch someone live some mediocre life and not even scratch the surface of what they are truly capable of. <br />
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10) Believe<br />
You must believe in yourself. It is often our own minds that are the hardest to tame. It is hard to think of yourself as doing something great, as being great. It is more difficult to truly let your mind go free and believe that you can accomplish these seemingly far fetched goals. Train your mind to get rid of toxic thoughts of doubt and fear. You already believe that it exists within you because you thought of it on step one, everything else is bullshit.<br />
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Can I coin the term "fearlings"? Seriously, fearlings are the grim reaper of the greatness that lies within you and you must defeat them. Every time you defeat them, you win.<br />
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So if you follow me and see the hashtag, #allidoiswin, you know my secret. It doesn't necessarily mean that I can not be defeated via competitive powerlifting, I can, and I will be, it's inevitable. It's just not enough to stop me from winning. Winning is choice. I will choose winning every time. Will you?<br />
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#allidoiswin #poweryourown<br />
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<br />Power Your Ownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06132554696317030369noreply@blogger.com1