When Enough Is Enough

When enough is enough

By Wade Johnson

I love social media and I love people. While I know that there is so much that is negative and there is some really bad shit going on in the world and close to home, I still have faith in humanity and I see the positive of our information age we currently live in. That being said, here lately, a few things that I read have finally gotten under my skin and while what draws my ire may not mean shit to you, I am betting more relate than don’t.

I have read from coaches, lifters and regular people, which should draw some barbs, of all the things we do wrong.  We shouldn’t refrigerate our eggs, it’s stupid that we sit on the commode instead of crouching and poop wrong to how the Russians train better than us to if the Republicans win the presidential office, they are moving out of the country.  Can we dispense with the utter nonsensical bullshit already? But, that’s not what finally drew me in. No, no, it goes deeper than that. So, in no particular order and, I’m not going to reference anyone directly as this is not about the person but, to talk about the comments and how inaccurate they are.

Comment #1

A weightlifter commented on a video about drug use. It basically said that the video was convincing enough to not take steroids and that it was part of the reason they chose not be a “serious” powerlifter. Then went on to say that there was no judgement but that “winning” wasn’t that important to them. Now, on the surface, maybe that doesn’t bother you but, it does bother me. In a broad statement this post says “serious” powerlifters are using. I realize that’s not a quote but, you don’t have to be very clever to understand the underlying message being said here. I take acceptation to that and I’ll tell you why. It misrepresents me and more, it misrepresents all the lifters I have, both past and present, worked with that chose to be serious and drug free. It also misrepresents all those out there that chose a drug free pathway and are very serious powerlifters. Now, I don’t care what you do. You want to use drugs, so be it but, I do care what I do and I also care about the lifters I coach. Now the ironic part of all this. I remind you, this came from a weightlifter, oly for you non WL types, that is saying “serious” powerlifters are using. Has anyone read about all the B sample failures of the past 2 Olympic Games in “weightlifting”? Aren’t these guys “serious”? What about the recent world championships and all the failures there? The point to all this, broad stroked statements not based in fact are simply ignorant and eventually someone is going to post a rebuttal…well, here it is. The lesson to learn is when you point a finger so broadly, it is likely to point back at you.

Comment #2

Anyone lifting in a non-tested federation is clearly using.

Seriously? Can you smell the stupidity with this one? That’s like saying everyone that lifts in a tested federation is clearly drug free. If the original statement had been made by a newbie or teenager, I could understand being that naïve but, this wasn’t. While I won’t throw any names out there, this person was completely off base. I have chosen to lift where I lift due to a few reasons that are important to me. 1, proximity…I have spent lots of money flying here and there to compete at all levels and in different sports. Eventually, I was more after numbers than titles and the money spent to travel became the money saved in order to purchase gear to build my gym. So, less travel meant more money for equipment. 2, the equipment at the meet. In my past, you never knew what you were going to get and being able to, not only know but, have consistent equipment was very important to me. 3. Being familiar with the people of the federation. All this said, it’s a personal decision not unlike deciding whether to use drugs or not. That does not however automatically make me, or anyone else, a user because of the venue they choose. Now, by association does that make me guilty? Nope but, does it give the federation the right to test me should they wish based on my numbers? Sure and it has happened and I completely understand that but, a federation leader and someone not in the know are two completely different things.

Comment #3

This person trains at a certain gym so, obviously they use.

Again, this is completely ignorant and if you don’t know for sure, you really shouldn’t speak on it. You can speculate all you want but, in many cases, you are talking about someone’s livelihood and there can be issues created for it even being speculated. And is that fair? What if the same were speculated about you and then pasted all over social media? See, so long as it’s about someone else, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Just common sense and courtesy that unless you know something and it’s been proven, you are again, likely looking foolish and how does the quote go? Better to be thought a fool and remain quiet then to open your mouth and remove all doubt…

Comment #4

The Natty lifter Meme about no one caring about natty lifters.

It’s funny and I even chuckled. However, what I was not humored by were all the corresponding remarks about how natty lifters were annoying. So if I get this straight, it’s ok to be an illegal drug user but being a drug free lifter is somehow annoying and therefore bad? I realize we have some non-user types that would tell you that by using and lifting in non-tested feds and even using anything more than single ply gear is the devil and you suck and that, I agree, is annoying and is as small minded as the above comments. But again with the broad stroke to be inclusive of all natty lifters? See, I just can’t stand that and so, this blog was born. Look, I’m not the moral compass for anything. I do what I do because mainly, it’s what I either want to do or feel compelled to do. But, I also know that just because someone is honest and open about usage, it only makes them honest and open. It doesn’t make it legal, by fed rules in most instances and the law, it doesn’t make it right and it certainly doesn’t make you better. I’m not thumping my chest because I chose the drug free path. My career stands on the results. That may or may not impress you but, I would bet a lot of money that doesn’t even belong to me that most of those posters couldn’t do what I have done and continue to do. I made my choice for me and for my son and that is enough for me.

Last, and this is an observation or two and not about a comment. There are 2 things I see that trouble me.

    1.  I have seen postings and videos about degrading a training method in the attempts to get you, a consumer and trainee type, to buy into their method of training. This is not only bad form, it’s deceiving and simply disrespectful. Can you not allow the results of yourself and the trainees that are in your charge speak for that? Can you not just provide information and science that provides answers to our questions about your training? Or, is it better for FB and IG hits and likes and such if you post something derogatory and controversial? Eventually, and that’s sooner than later in most cases, the truth comes out and, the cream rises to the top or there is proof in the pudding. All this other stuff is simply childish.

2.      
        Last, I see tons of lifters video out there. I simply love it but a trend that concerns me is when coaches make the lifters lifts about them above the merit of the lifter. Yes, I realize how much goes into coaching and the cost, the sacrifice and all the work you put into lifters but, if you are in every video and making you part of the liters lifts, then I question your commitment to the lifter and the lifters success. I recently saw something from Westside Barbell that I love. It is posted below and rings so true. If you are coaching, be about your athletes. If you are worth it, the athletes will sing your praise or more, they will continue working with you and even paying you and for me, that is worth more than any social media outlook like or hit or whatever. Maybe I’m old and don’t get it but, it seems to me that there are things that don’t go out of fashion like respect and keeping your tongue on matters you don’t know anything about.

So, to close. I hope you enjoy this and if I have offended you, I’m around many meets and gyms and am happy to discuss this. I respect your right to disagree with me so long as you respect my right to have the same say and ability to have that say as you do.

So, until I again decide to do this, Lift Heavy, Train Smart & Eat More Pizza!!!

Being the Oak tree and bullet points and why they work and are important

Being the Oak tree and bullet points and why they work and are important. 

By: Wade Johnson 

How’s that for a title?

I am the head ogre, coach, Oak tree, owner and story teller at the Ogre Compound. For anyone that doesn’t know me, I’m a powerlifter, strongman, weightlifter competitor passed my prime but, I have a love for the strength sports and more, the athletes that train and compete in these sports, as well as others. I have been fortunate enough to compete and do well in the 3 strength sports listed, won a few cool meets/titles along with breaking some decent records and built a gym/training compound, if you will. My joy is the pursuit of strength and the pathway required to do them well. I am lucky enough that many lifters past and present, share that passion with me. Okay then, enough about my fat ass. 

If you have read any of the blogs by some of the ladies that train at our place, you see a pattern with them. They find things that they can attach an understanding to whether it be for inspiration, understanding or simply because it puts them in their spot, so to speak. What I have learned over the years, is coaching is more an art than science. I know, there are those out there that will argue that. They will tell you why you shouldn’t do a particular training method because the method or ebook or whatever they are selling is better. They will dazzle you with science and almost sound as if they are walking around the gym in a lab coat. Well, bullshit…Hey, I like the science behind things and most of those guys out there that are selling training, are way smarter than me and I can totally dig the fact that they “know” what they are talking about but…and I digress, it’s when you are in the thick of it in training and the trenches of competing on the platform that if you have done your job as a coach, art comes through and wins every time. I don’t want to discount the intellect, the science and such of it all but, all that shit is meaningless if it doesn’t translate to the athlete and the sum total of this, is success on the platform. 

Something my girls like, and before you militant types carry on about me calling them my girls, it’s an affectionate thing. They know, first and foremost that I respect them. I am coach, I watch over them and so, therefore, are my girls and I love them. SO, simmer down before you get ruffled up by what I call them. Anyhoo, my girls will attach meaning to something I say. Jenn likes to call them bullet points and I’m for whatever works. I think it was Annie who first call them Wade-isms and that was followed up with Cory wanting to do a girls beer drinking and list all the wade-isms…see why I love them? So, I am doing 10 that I can remember off the top of my head and they can do addendum blogs, post or whatever you kids call it these days. 

Warning, I usually forgo anything off color on the podcast and article stuff I do but, in this case, it would lose its flava and simple realism. We are in the gym and we aren’t working out, we are training and these lifters are trying to win, break records and be elite. We are in there to get shit done, not fucking play checkers. So, if you are offended, you should have by now, already closed this out.  You start posting shit and I’ll tell you ahead of time, go fuck yourself. Find the positive here and understand, a lot of these lifters are already elite, hold records and do so in multiple sports and there weights aren’t heavy, they are lethal so, being polite is reserved in greeting them and saying have a great day when they leave. 

Wade-isms

In the gym

1. Create your own groove

This came to be with Annie. A little back ground, I was the head judge at Annie’s 1st real meet and she was green, very green but, she is vivacious and spirited and more, she really wants this and that’s all I need to see. She has since then totaled elite raw in 2 weight classes and is close in a 3rd.  The moment this came into being was a deadlift session. Annie lifts the most weight here but, was having form issues and was particularly frustrated at her performance and exclaimed, “I keep trying to find my groove!”…and I yelled, or said loudly as yelled may be overstated, “don’t search for your groove”. “Create your groove”. Annie needed to dictate what she wanted the weight to do. Seems simple and you will find that all these isms are very simple as I’m no cerebral giant but, I have learned that simplicity serves you better than complicating things. It was the cue she needed and now, it helps her be intuitive with her form and approach to all facets of her training and lifting. 

2. Don’t lift the weight, execute your form

Seems simple enough…this is where a lifter is so worried about all the technical things. Stay tight, pace, be explosive and the list goes on and on and that’s too much to think about in the 5-10 seconds it takes to complete a lift. The focal point becomes the weight on the bar and that’s where it goes awry. Focus on the execution. Visualize, do what you have done every time we train. Make it intuitive, automatic. 

3. Square and squeeze and show them

This started with Missy. She was having issues with the shoulders being pulled forward in the deadlift. I told her to square the shoulders…most lifters initially will arch the back and not actually square anything, let alone the shoulders. So, I asked her, “how would you show me your boobs?” “Would you have your shoulders pulled forward and leaning forward or would you square up and push them up where I could see them?” And boom, she got it and has since added 25 lbs to her deadlift. It’s a cue we use with everyone, both male and female. 

4. I don’t give a fuck how you feel

I think this came into being Missy as well. Now, Missy is very technical. She is a nurse and really smart, too much for her own good in this setting and realizes when her glutes don’t’ fire right or something is out of alignment or something else that is preventing her execution of what I want her to do. It’s fucking infuriating and I finally exclaimed one session, “I don’t give a fuck how you feel?” Now, does this mean that I don’t care? No, it doesn’t but the bigger deal is, what happens if something doesn’t feel just right or perfect on meet day? Are we quitting, are we not going to do our best or not perform? That’s not going to happen. So, I don’t care if it feels perfect and I’ll go a step further. We video almost everything, certainly main lifts. I can’t tell you how many times I hear and I have even said myself how something looked way better than it felt. I’m going to let a really big cat out of the bag here. It’s fucking heavy, this is powerlifting and shit is really hard to do. So…it’s going to feel hard and even awkward and difficult. That’s what it’s supposed to do. It’s our job to be taught and learn how to execute but, it’s still weight and really hard to do. 

5. Punch and squeeze

This was a cue that came in weightlifting and not with anyone I coached. It was with a team of lifters that are weightlifters that I trained with. We use it when we bench at the gym. To explain, a lifter was doing the jerk portion of the clean and jerk and right before locking out, would lose tightness and miss the lift. So I yelled punch. The punch is something that cued the lifter, who was a girl by the way, to be tight, not just ballistic but, maintaining tightness and to really punch the weight to lock out and then squeeze, to maintain the tightness to hold it at lock out while completing the recoup portion of the lift. It really clicked with her and in the bench press, same principal. How many times have you seen a lifter really explode off the chest and lose a lift that looked like it was going to be automatic? So the cue became a perfect reminder while lifting to maintain the tightness required to get the weight ot lock out and hold for the rack command and punch and squeeze sounds a lot cooler and is easier to say that all that shit I just typed. 

6. Don’t press the weight, push it away

This is a bench press cue and overhead cue. For me, personally, if I lift the weight, the focal point of the weight is in my hands, versus my entire body, if that makes sense. When I think push the weight away, I immediately change my approach and use the bench pad as leverage to push the bar away from versus press the weight up. This has been very effective it cueing the lifter to really engage the upper back and lats. It’s not fancy or really all that clever but, has been every effective.

7. Be patient

Again, this start with both Annie deadlift, as well as, Missy. They would rush the set up and then get over the bar and be pulled forward. So we are patient with the loading aspect of our pull form and the results have been really good. It makes the lifters go through the entire set up process, where most lifts are actually lost in my opinion and teaches them to be habitual or ritualistic with how they approach the bar. This makes the entire set up process very intuitive and makes the start point of each lift very consistent. 

8. There are 2 answers yes or no

I am unsure when this started but, this is something I hit Bobby and Skwrl with a lot, not to mention Missy. I will ask a question and I will get all this information. That’s usually good but, in this setting, I need to know yes or no-see, black and white. There is no gentle gray area with powerlifting and strength, for that matter.  Did you lift it, yes I did, no I didn’t. All the other words are bullshit and waste a lot of time and in general, piss me off.  With strength, there are 2 things and 2 things only. I did or I didn’t, everything else is meaningless. 

9. Quit being a fucking pussy

Seems simple enough. It’s an oldy but a goodie. It’s really simple. There are times where people are trying but, they aren’t pushing hard enough and I have yet, in this setting anyway, seen anyone that enjoys being pointed out as the gym pussy. I have seen this over and over convert and transform a lifter being a baby into an intense lifter…job completed. And, you know, sometimes you just have to be reminded you are being a fucking baby, pissing me off and need to shit and get it and get the job done. It’s one of my favs

10. The premise of strength is easy but, it’s really fucking hard

I know how ridiculous this one sounds but, this is probably the most profound thing I ever say and it even has a hint of being philosophical. You will see people in articles and online and at meets and every gym that use lots of big words and heavy vocabulary and can use a square and trigonometry in trying to explain lifting. I like things to be broken down in its most basic and simple form. I have also learned with strength and most facets of life, things are relatively simple. That said, they are rarely easy and simple and easy are never quite the same thing. Strength is easy. You pick it up, you pull it, push it or squat it, maybe you even throw and/or kick it but, as simple as all that sounds, to be the best at it, it’s really hard to do. 

So, for now, that covers a list, not even top 10, just the ones I could remember. Hopefully, the team can come up with more and perhaps better translate the meaning of what they think I’m saying and some cool and colorful stories along the way. 

Until the next time I decide to do this…

Lift heavy, train smart & eat more pizza. 

Feelings and Why They Don't Matter

Ahhhh feelings. Feelz. Warm and fuzzy. Love. Anger. Jealousy. Lust. Pain. Pleasure. Sadness. Happiness. All dem feelz.

If you've read any of my other posts you might have an idea of how passionate I am. If you haven't, well, go read my other posts! I'm a passionate person. I care a lot. I obsess. I try too hard. I get overly excited. I get overly angry. I most definitely get overly frustrated. This has both it's benefits and it's drawbacks. I would say for the vast majority of the time, it has been a drawback for me. But why?! But how?! It's been a drawback because far too many times, I've let my feelings, my emotions control my reactions and my decisions. Which kinda sucks because I've made some bad choices, done and said things I later regret, let nervousness get the best of me, let my lack of interest keep me from fulfilling my potential, missed opportunities, etc. It's not all bad. This passion has also served me well in some cases. Generally in the arena of overcoming physical feats, mental toughness, reflection, and self evolution. Which is pretty much what has brought me here to this post.

The thing about feelings is that they all go away. ALL OF THEM.  Repeat this to yourself. All feelings go away. Don't get me wrong. I love feelings. When the feelings are good, it's really good. When the feelings are bad, it's really bad. Anyone that's been in love or has had a broken heart knows this saga well. But guess what? All feelings go away. So what's the point?

The point is this: Feelings will wreak havoc on your goals and commitments if you give them control.  If you decide to you want to accomplish a huge goal and you aren't prepared to face the feeling of wanting to quit, well, you're already defeated. My husband, my muse, has this incredible way of feeling things. I know he feels them, I've seen his emotions expressed outwardly. He feels them, but he does not dwell. He moves forward. He feels and forgets. Sometimes this can be enraging for a passionate obsesser. Recently however I have learned the freedom and power that comes with understanding that ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY.

How is this useful? Set a goal. Come up with a plan. Execute the plan. Simple. While you're executing this plan, unless you're just sandbagging like crazy, you're likely to not feel like doing what you have to do at some point during the process. In the beginning you're all gung-ho and no one can crush your PMA (positive mental attitude). Then, some things will happen, you'll get tired, you'll get frustrated, you'll lose interest, you'll think you're failing and wonder why you even started. Now at this point is when you repeat it to yourself, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. I'm not dismissing your feelings, I'm not saying they aren't important. I'm saying they are temporary. Quitting is forever. You can tell yourself you can start over. Start over on Monday. Start again next training cycle. Start again next week. Start again when you 'feel' it. But that's bullshit. You already started. You can't erase what you already did. You can't go back and make it perfect. Time only moves in one direction. When you call it quits because it isn't all rainbows and sausages, you're sending a message to yourself that you're weak and you can't hang and you quit. That becomes a habit. A habit of quitting.

Let's talk about trees and weather (metaphor coming at ya and probably not a new one). Feelings are like the wind. They come, they are inevitable. Some are gentle and nice and pleasurable. Some are strong and exhilarating. Some come with rain and cold. Some come in spirals and really try to fuck you up. Leaves let the wind carry them. Leaves let the wind decide where they land. Now I'm starting to feel cheesy but just don't be the leaf ok? Be the fucking tree. Feelings will come and they will sway you in one direction or another, some will test your roots, some will be so strong that you'll just want to uproot and go somewhere else. Repeat it when it gets so hard that you want to quit. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the wind pass over you but remain committed to the goal. Failure is not fatal. Quitting is fatal.

Imagine some strong feelings you may have about anything. ANYTHING. Like let's say you get really pissed off at your kid/spouse/animal/teacher/boss/whoever and you experience extreme feelings of anger. In this moment, when you want to say or do something fueled by this anger, this is when you repeat it, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the feeling of anger pass over you like the wind. THEN, react. And when you react and the feelings have somewhat passed, try to do it from a place of love (cheesy again, right?! This is sorta segueing into a future post). You can use this anytime in any situation. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Be the tree. Don't be the fucking leaf.  

Even Feelings like this go away

Potential, Heart, and Interest

Today in the gym I was talking with Wade about one of the lifters who seems have a fire under their ass about training lately. The conversation didn't go much further than that.....but of course it got me thinking because thinking is my fav.

Let's start with records. Are all lifters/athletes capable of being the best? Of breaking records? No. Of course not. I struggle with how to answer/react to comments like 'well I'm not breaking any records or anything'......and today, I am able to articulate why this type of comment drives me bonkers. If you're writing yourself off because you aren't breaking records, then are you selling yourself short of fulfilling your potential? Not everyone is going to be the best, not everyone is going to be number one, but is that a reason to slack in training? I continue to compete and train because I believe I've still got room to grow. I've still got weight to put on the bar. I know that I am capable of more than I have accomplished this far, and I can't stop until I reach the ceiling of my potential. Will I break some records as I approach my ceiling? Probably. But that's my ceiling. My ceiling doesn't look like anyone else's ceiling but mine. The thing that is great about the lifter in the gym is that they are in it to reach their potential. The fire that is under his ass is the desire to fulfill his potential. Will he break any records? I have no idea. BUT DOES IT MATTER? Nope. There is nothing more satisfying than working your ass off, knowing that you didn't let up, knowing that you gave it everything you had, that you followed through, that you took every intentional step you could and seeing it all come together. Will you fall short of your goal every now and then? Yep. BUT DOES IT MATTER? Nope. It doesn't matter because you will have become a better person, a better athlete, a better boss, a better employee, just better. Well, you will have become better, you will have gave it everything you had IF you have......heart.

Heart. What does it mean to have heart? It means having the desire to fulfill your potential. I'm not sure that there is anything that drives me more crazy than a person with all the talent in world and no heart to see it through. I can't even take interest in those people. I. CAN'T. EVEN. This is what separates winners from losers. In life, winners have heart. And sprinkles.

Growing up, heart was my bread and butter. What the hell am I talking about? Heart was/is/always will be my bread and butter. That is IF I am interested in something. DAMMIT! Academics; not interested. I love learning, but man I hate going to class and doing school work. In the 8th grade I got really into school. Guess what? My grades were freakin awesome. Maybe it was the smaller class sizes. Maybe it was the teachers taking a vested interest in me. In college I took some summer courses one year. I again did awesome. Maybe because it was concentrated and again smaller class sizes? Who knows? Who cares? The point is, I have since realized some things about how I work. I have also since realized that sometimes you gotta just suck it up and get shit done. DAMMIT! If only I could go back to high school sports and college academics! Nah. I'm pretty good where I'm at. But, just for the record, I'd murder that shit.

Potential+Heart+Interest=Greatness

Do you always have all three? Nope. Are you always capable of fulfilling your potential? Yeah buddy.

Now, get to work.

This is not Jennifer Millican and Why I'm Done with Untested Feds

A few weeks ago after the 2016 Women's ProAm a video was produced on you tube. I was in the video. I was interviewed the day of the meet by a guy who told me he documented strength sports. I wasn't super pumped about doing an interview because I'm a big fat scaredy cat when it comes to speaking in front of people, but these are familiar feelings and I suck it up.

The video is later posted on various social media outlets. I watch the video. My name and final numbers come across the screen. I'm confused because the person on the screen isn't Jennifer Millican. The person on the screen is a geared lifter. Hmmmm.

I feel kind of annoyed. I message the guy and tell him that he has misrepresented my name, after telling him how the great the video is of course. He apologizes but doesn't seem to have any intention of correcting it. Weird.
As days go by it keeps popping up in my mind. I've worked really hard the last two years on attempting to understand my feelings about something before reacting immediately. Recently, when something like this happens, I ask myself, 'so what does that mean?'.

I'm annoyed that my name is wrong on the video
So what does that mean?
It means that I don't want my name on someone else's body
So what does that mean?
It means that I don't want people to think that is me
So what does that mean?
It means that I don't want people to think I'm a geared lifter
So what does that mean
It means that I lift raw and that's not me and I want the credit!

So as I go through this, I start to peel away the layers of why it's bothering me. Initially, I tell myself I'm being a little bitchy diva and need to stop. Then I think, fuck that! I worked really really really hard to hit those numbers. He's not just misrepresenting me, he's misrepresenting all of my hard work, all my early mornings, all my holidays eating chicken and rice, all my aches, all my pains, all the mornings I didn't fix my babies breakfast. It's not that he's just misrepresenting me, but he's representing everything I'm not.

So what does that mean?
It means that's not an accurate representation of the lifter I am
So what does that mean?
It means I want it to be clear what I represent
AHA! Now I have something........

I don't need a you tube video for that. I have a blog, dammit, and I'll take care of it myself.

When I ask myself why I love powerlifting so much, at first I come up with all these super deep, existential reasons. Which are pretty much bullshit. At the end of the day, when you dig past the hardcore lifter, the mother, the feminist, whatever else, and get down to the very very core, there's.........a jock. That's right! A good old fashioned jock. I've been a tomboy since forever. Growing up, I played every sport imaginable with every boy in the neighborhood and loved every second of it. I had no mercy for how bad they felt when a girl beat them. I could and can and did and do talk shit with biggest baddest boys on the field and in the gym. I have lost friends, made social situations awkward and family members gun shy over asking me to play board games. I would go to softball tournaments and be at the ball fields for 12 hours a day for 3 days and get home at 8 on Sunday night and beg my father to come outside and play catch. I couldn't get enough. I love playing anything. I love being better than average even more. Even more than that, I love improving, I love redemption, I love identifying what I suck at and then OBSESSING about how I am going perfect it. The competitiveness and desire to be the best is a fire I can't put out. Powerlifting is a perfect outlet.

When I decide I want to do something, I have the tendency to become hyper focused. I wasn't kidding about becoming obsessed. I will research, read, watch video, adjust, readjust, stay up late, wake up early, think and overthink every possible angle, situation, outcome, most likely and most unlikely result and possibility until I actually start to get on my own nerves. Powerlifting is the perfect outlet.

I'm five feet tall on most days. I've always had muscles. Growing up I would hide my arms for fear of comments. I've always been strong. I always did the most pull ups in school. When I went to the babysitter I would challenge almost everyone to an arm wrestling match and win. I was the smallest person on my softball team and the 1st person to hit it over the fence. It wasn't because I was weak. Genetically, I was made to squat, bench and deadlift. Powerlifting is a perfect outlet.

I have no quit. There is no quit inside of me. I have played on THE MOST TERRIBLE sports teams and have been down with ZERO chance of winning and will give it everything I have until the clock runs out or they yell out 'ballgame!'. There have been times when I wished so badly that I didn't care, that I actually prayed to God to make me give up. It didn't work. The vast majority of the time, I still lose. My efforts are futile. There have been a few, extremely glorious moments that there is a turn around and I shock every spectator by making the comeback. I live for this. I find these to be more frequent when I'm the only person who has control. Powerlifting is a perfect outlet.

I feel confident in saying that I don't think anyone would question my dedication to the sport. I want to be the best and I will be. It's only a matter of stacking up enough training cycles, enough meets, enough attempts, enough 2.5lb plates, before I start taking down all time totals. I am certainly dedicated to reaching my goals. I am not, however, dedicated enough to use steroids. For a long time and still somewhat, I was of the opinion that I didn't care about competing against those that do use PED's. I don't care in the sense that I still want a bigger total and will chase it regardless. I'm not saying that I haven't considered using them myself, but over the years I've decided it's not for me. It's not for me by in large because it's illegal and I have two young children and despite my freakin HUGE numbers, I'm yet to be making any money off this gig (insert slight sarcasm here). The second and equally important reason are the side effects. I embrace being a woman and everything that comes along with it. Watch for a future post, Feminism; You're doing it Wrong.  I might not be the girliest of girls, but I'll take what femininity I have. I'm also kind of a freak about hormonal balance for health and those two things don't mix well. If one does decide to start using PED's, it's not a choice I think should be made without careful consideration of every possible outcome. As I continue to climb the ranks, I'm noticing more people are paying attention. Which triggers a sense of responsibility in me to make sure what I'm doing is an accurate representation of who I am. This is why I will be seeking out tested competitions moving forward.

All this to say, if you are paying attention, instead of looking at the amount of weight on my bar, look at this. These are the characteristics that I represent . I have no problem saying that I have a genetic advantage in this sport. I also have no problem saying that I outwork plenty of the competition. The weight on the bar, the records, the totals......powerlifting does not define who I am. These characteristics are what define me. Powerlifting is the perfect outlet.    
  

Living in the moment, a recap of the 2016 Women's Pro/Am

I'm a dweller. I tend to dwell on past experiences, what was said, how someone reacted, who did what, etc. It doesn't always serve me well. I go over & over what has already happened then forget to live in the current moment and move forward! For a couple days, as I continued to dwell on this past weekend while still wearing the pink wristband, I was reminded of another recent experience where the focus was specifically to "live in the moment." To avoid being overly verbose, I'll just say this, it was eye opening and a new goal of mine is to stop dwelling so much and enjoy the present!!! So here's my recap of the #womensproam2016 so I can fully appreciate this awesome experience and then move forward:

This was the most prepared I've ever felt going into a meet. I feel like I finally stopped chasing numbers & started working towards being a better lifter technically & mentally. One of the things Wade always says is "take what the day gives." I always heard that in a negative manner meaning if it's a bad day, take it down a notch, but I've learned (after hearing it multiple times now) it goes both ways! If the day is going good, take it & run with it! The hard part is recognizing what the day has presented. Saturday was a good squat day for me & it was time to take it. I had originally planned to open at 225, but a few weeks before the meet, I missed what was supposed to be my "easy opener." I made the decision to lower the opener to 220 and then after a few more days of thinking & debating internally, lowered it to 215, a weight I was confident I could get. Do you know how hard it was to change that number on the website?!?! Excruciating! Especially considering that was the same opener when I last competed in November. I'm supposed to be getting better! All this work on squats, completing an entire 16 week training cycle & I'm opening at the same weight as last meet? Noooooo! But I defeated my internal ego demons & reluctantly put down 215 as the official opener on the website. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it placed me in the first flight throughout the meet. This meant I would be able to watch, cheer on, & video my teammates who were in the 2nd & 3rd flights without having to worry about being nervous for my next attempts. See how things work out? Anyway, back to squats. After some debate on when to start wrapping my knees, how many out I am & a near fight with my husband/handler, I smoked the opener. What??? I never smoke the squat opener in a meet. Who am I? This is where I should insert a funny thing Jennifer says that applies as the answer to that question: "My name is Annie Tallent Fry and I'm a good squatter." Don't ask. So the plan for the 2nd attempt is "if the opener goes well, 235."  Yes, I'm that much of a meet day head case that I have to have the qualifier. So 235 it is, no thinking involved. It goes easy (& no near fights with husband/handler this time).  Again, 235 went easy. Huh? I'm really not sure what to do here at a place where squats actually went well! I honestly did not have a planned 3rd attempt. I knew what I wanted, but it wasn't in the plan. The plan was to take what the day gives, good or bad. My usual 3rd attempt is a repeat of the 2nd attempt or the planned 2nd if I screwed up on the 1st, but here I am having squatted well two attempts in a row! What do I do?! I looked at Wade in the head judges chair (it's a strange, but interesting dynamic when your coach is also a judge; haters would say a conflict of interest, but then they also wouldn't know Wade). We had this seemingly 5 min back & forth dialogue where I mouthed numbers at him & he shook his head (you can see part of it in the video). I finally got the nod at 250 & off I go to the table. He believed in me & I didn't have a chance not to. Time for the third attempt. Handler/husband wraps my knees and I go up to the bar & I get the standard butt smack. Take an extra second to gather myself & all I can think is "damn, that's a good wrap, don't waste it." I giggle a little to myself (another inside joke). All I know is I'm not going to quit no matter what. Unrack. Oh that feels light. Weird. I hear various yells & cues, primarily "settle!" & "patience!" I squat & the pace is slower than I'd like it to be, but I hit the hole, rebound & start ascending. It gets stuck at the sticking point and somehow I never quit and end up grinding it out. It was the greatest lifting moment of my life! A 20 lb meet PR and the most weight I've ever held on my back period. Lots of cheers & hugs & high fives & now it's time to eat & relax a little & watch my sister-mates do the same. And they did.

After watching Jennifer set a new all time world record squat (NBD), it was time for me to start warming up on bench. Warm ups go well & I'm ready to go in plenty of time. A few weeks ago, I said out loud in training, one of my goals is to go 3 for 3 on bench. I don't care what the numbers are, I just want to hit all three attempts. I asked my teammates to help hold me to that & keep the ego in check. I've hit 155 in training recently, but bench is a bitch on meet day.  I can't explain it, it just is, so it cannot be taken for granted. There may not be any magic fairy dust on the platform, but I'm convinced there is evil demon contaminate scattered on the bench platform.  I opened with 135, an old nemesis that I've come to rely on as a close friend (we've seen each other many many times now). 135 goes as an easy confidence building opener like it should. I call the planned 2nd attempt, 145, which has also become a fairly easy weight to hit consistently in the gym. I get the lift, but one of the judges threw a red light which means my butt must have come off the bench a little. Dammit!  Now I'm stressing and I'm at the point where in order to hit my goal, 3 for 3 on bench, I HAVE to keep my ass in check (literally & figuratively). I call for 150. I wanted to ask for 146 (ha!) but I didn't think it would go over too well asking for half pound plates.... So 150 it is. I had just given the table my 3rd attempt and Jennifer runs over & asks what it was going to be. I told her & she said "hew, okay just checking."  My teammates take "keeping me in check" seriously! So it's time to bench. Handler/husband hands off. Jennifer is knelt down on one side. Wes is knelt down on the other (we're very serious about keeping asses in check here, did I mention that?). The load is decent, not great, and I start to grind automatically. I feel my butt start to come off the bench & I could see that one of the judges had already thrown the red. Instead of pressing it on out. I gave up. I shook my head & said take it. I'm not proud of this. It was disappointing. I could blame this or that, but bottom line, I quit. The exact thing I thought I had just finished learning about during squats!!! I could have pressed it on out and got all three reds, but I didn't even give the judges a chance to make the call. Arrgghhhh! Handler/husband is mad. Coach is clearly frustrated. I'm irritated with myself. So much for 3 for 3 on bench. Womp womp. Insert lots of sadness here.  I still ended with a 10 lb meet PR so it isn't all that terrible, but certainly not the best I could have done.  The bench unicorn still remains to be seen, but it's getting closer. I told you bench is a bitch. You can bet your ass (& mine) that I won't make that same mistake again.

There was a loooooong break before deadlifts. I had plenty of time to eat and hydrate & rest & think about that missed bench attempt, but when it was time to warm up, I tried to think about the task at hand: just focus on the opener, Annie: 275. One attempt at a time. And don't think about the fact that I need exactly 305 lbs to get a 700 total, the ultimate goal. Grrrrrr. I had cooled down too much and had to go through my whole pre-warmup, warmup routine again. By the time I started pulling, I felt better, but my back was starting to get tight (probably from squatting a PR a few hours before!!!). Warmups weren't feeling great. I couldn't find my groove (another Wade-ism I've come to rely on). I would normally pull 135 for a couple singles, 185x1, 225x1 and be done in the warmup room. Handler/husband saw my frustration and suggested I pull another single at 245 to see if it felt better. It did. My brain was finally ready to go. The opener didn't quite go as well as I'd like though. I didn't quite hit that sweet spot I know & love.  So instead of going for my planned 2nd attempt, 305, I went with 295 instead. Seems like a small margin to some, but 10 lbs can be huuuuge for 112.6 lb girls. 295 was the right call. I found that sweet spot again & put some confidence back in the game. Now with this newly rediscovered confidence, do I go for the PR? Do I go for the planned 3rd attempt anyway, 320? Do I let my ego take over again & screw me? I've found my groove, right, so why not go all in?! Deadlift is my bread and butter after all! Hell no!!! It's not even a question. "Always protect the total" is the mantra & deciding factor. 305 it is! I never doubted it was going. It wasn't as fast or easy as I'd like, but it went. All white lights. The coveted 700 lb total @ 114 is mine!!!! 700 on the nose, not a pound more or kilo or ounce or whatever unit of measurement you wanna use. It's mine! Everyone is happy. More cheers & hugs & high fives & I probably cried a little. Now.... Time to move on with the day and continue watching my teammates, friends, new acquaintances, and the rest of the ladies in the meet be badasses, set PRs, and break records.  My tiny little piece of the story has ended and I was ready to see what else the day had in store!

To be successful, you have to have a plan, a mission, a goal, something to work towards and you have to be consistent in executing that plan, but you can't plan out every single moment. You have to be willing to make adjustments, if needed, in order to achieve the ultimate goal. You can't predict what will happen or how you will feel in the future or allow yourself to dwell in the past. All you can do is prepare for & execute the parts of the plan that you can control and then live everyday in the moment, take what each day gives you, appreciate it, learn from it, teach somebody else about it, and then move forward. Time to set some new goals, Annie! And yes I finally took off that 3 day old pink wristband!

110lb Total PR: A Year In Review

Ask me how I put 110lbs on my total and I'll confidently tell you, consistency. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

I started working with Aaron Thomas just over a year ago. When I started working with him my current total was 865lbs. In the beginning he just did my nutrition. I totaled 910 after my first cut with him. My lifts were a 360lb squat, 190lb bench, and 360lb deadlift. After this, I hire him to do both my programming and nutrition.

This is the beginning of 2015, before I had any nutrition plan in place. Around 134lbs here. 

The first thing we did was cut to the 114 weight class. I lost somewhere around 10-15lb in tissue and then cut 6lbs in water. During this time is when I learned a thing or two about consistency. I learned quickly that I was going have to stick to the plan 110 percent to make this cut happen. There is always a reason to not stick to the nutrition plan. ALWAYS. There is always a party, a family gathering, a holiday, not enough time, not enough energy, work, kids, there is always an excuse. I tell myself I won't let these things derail me, I will not allow any excuses. I was strict. Very strict. Strict as in I didn't take bites, I didn't take tastes, I didn't vary, I didn't sway. I was the asshole who showed up at Grandma's on Easter with tupperware meals. It didn't take long before it became easier. Tupperware at Grandma's didn't seem as sad after the first few times. It was during this time that I built more mental toughness than anything else. I could talk a lot about the training and I'll get to that, but this is the first layer. The training was hard. Much harder than I have ever trained. I totaled 945lbs at 114lbs. 370lb squat, 200lb bench, 375lb deadlift. The second highest total in the world.

This is the day of weigh ins, June 2015. 113.6lbs, with a 6lb water cut. 

Next up, meet without wraps at 123lbs about 6 months down the road. I did a mass first and bodyweight reaches around 140lbs. This was actually fun. Really fun. I got to be a little less strict, eat a lot and my boobs came back to me (yay!). The training was ridiculous. The volume was out of control. What about that sounds fun? Uh, food, lifting all the weights, getting all the muscles, and boobs......what's not fun? I also happen to get really strong. At the end of the mass, we tested my lifts and they landed with a 415lb squat, 220lb bench and a 405lb deadlift, all gym lifts done throughout the week.

My big take aways for this phase were:
1)Volume is King!
2) If your training isn't hard and isn't challenging you, it likely isn't changing you
3)There is a lot to be said for training just to get strong and put on some mass. It felt good to take a mental break from meet prep and bro out a little.

To give you an idea of the amount of volume I was doing, I counted the number of reps I did at the peak of the high volume phase. On a Monday, I did 56 reps with bench. Different variations and different rep schemes. On a Friday (deadlift day) I did 93 reps of various deadlifts and squats. NINETY THREE! I'm only counting my working sets, this does not include my warm ups.

September, 2015. Around 140ish pounds here. 

After the mass, we start the cut to compete at 123lbs. Somewhere in here, I get a job from hell. As training intensity builds so does the stress from my job. I start feeling the stress of my job creep into to my training. It sucks. Really sucks and I'm having trouble figuring out how to fix it. I'm persistent. I am a self proclaimed queen of the turn around. By the time I realize I need a turn around, it's a little too late. My right arm dies and refuses to bench. This happens somewhere around 5 or 6 weeks out from my meet. You can read about that on my other post: The Evolution of a World Record Squat: Pleasure vs. Happiness. I do the meet anyway. Turns out, doing the meet with a dead arm, made me better. Way better. The take away here is recovery. I knew this was important but I hadn't quite figured out how to read the signs. Being persistent and the self proclaimed queen of the turn around probably hindered me here. Nonetheless, I ended the meet with a 892lb total and an American record squat in sleeves at 363lbs. Before I started training with Aaron, the most I had ever squatted without wraps was around 305lbs in the gym. Just for some perspective.  

After that, I took a few weeks off, healed my arm up, and quit that awful job. Then I started training for my most recent meet where I pr'd my total.   

Working with someone remotely has it's own set of challenges. Communication is key. I should clarify. TRUTHFUL communication is key. I do my best to be up front about what exactly is going on. If my weight shoots up and I suck at the gym it doesn't do me any favors by keeping the fact that I went out partied all night and ate like asshole from my trainer. I need the plan to work, if I throw a wrench in it, I need to tell the engineer. I pay Aaron to make the plan. It's up to me to follow the plan. You've got to stay the course. You've got to go through some growing pains as a coach/athlete for it all to come together. As long as I'm holding up on my end, I trust he's holding up on his. The take aways are:

1) You need a plan

2) You need to follow the plan

3) Communication is important

4) Adjustments are ok, and a good sign people are paying attention

5) Consistency

6) Consistency

7) Consistency

So in just about a year's worth of time from our first full training cycle together, Aaron and I have managed to put 110lbs on my total by way of 420lb squat, 215lb bench, and 420lb deadlift.

Ask me how I put 110lbs on my total and I'll confidently tell you, consistency. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

Left is February 2015. Right is April 2016. 

Bodyweight is ~122 in both pics. In both I did around 7-8lb water cut.