If you've read any of my other posts you might have an idea of how passionate I am. If you haven't, well, go read my other posts! I'm a passionate person. I care a lot. I obsess. I try too hard. I get overly excited. I get overly angry. I most definitely get overly frustrated. This has both it's benefits and it's drawbacks. I would say for the vast majority of the time, it has been a drawback for me. But why?! But how?! It's been a drawback because far too many times, I've let my feelings, my emotions control my reactions and my decisions. Which kinda sucks because I've made some bad choices, done and said things I later regret, let nervousness get the best of me, let my lack of interest keep me from fulfilling my potential, missed opportunities, etc. It's not all bad. This passion has also served me well in some cases. Generally in the arena of overcoming physical feats, mental toughness, reflection, and self evolution. Which is pretty much what has brought me here to this post.
The thing about feelings is that they all go away. ALL OF THEM. Repeat this to yourself. All feelings go away. Don't get me wrong. I love feelings. When the feelings are good, it's really good. When the feelings are bad, it's really bad. Anyone that's been in love or has had a broken heart knows this saga well. But guess what? All feelings go away. So what's the point?
The point is this: Feelings will wreak havoc on your goals and commitments if you give them control. If you decide to you want to accomplish a huge goal and you aren't prepared to face the feeling of wanting to quit, well, you're already defeated. My husband, my muse, has this incredible way of feeling things. I know he feels them, I've seen his emotions expressed outwardly. He feels them, but he does not dwell. He moves forward. He feels and forgets. Sometimes this can be enraging for a passionate obsesser. Recently however I have learned the freedom and power that comes with understanding that ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY.
How is this useful? Set a goal. Come up with a plan. Execute the plan. Simple. While you're executing this plan, unless you're just sandbagging like crazy, you're likely to not feel like doing what you have to do at some point during the process. In the beginning you're all gung-ho and no one can crush your PMA (positive mental attitude). Then, some things will happen, you'll get tired, you'll get frustrated, you'll lose interest, you'll think you're failing and wonder why you even started. Now at this point is when you repeat it to yourself, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. I'm not dismissing your feelings, I'm not saying they aren't important. I'm saying they are temporary. Quitting is forever. You can tell yourself you can start over. Start over on Monday. Start again next training cycle. Start again next week. Start again when you 'feel' it. But that's bullshit. You already started. You can't erase what you already did. You can't go back and make it perfect. Time only moves in one direction. When you call it quits because it isn't all rainbows and sausages, you're sending a message to yourself that you're weak and you can't hang and you quit. That becomes a habit. A habit of quitting.
Let's talk about trees and weather (metaphor coming at ya and probably not a new one). Feelings are like the wind. They come, they are inevitable. Some are gentle and nice and pleasurable. Some are strong and exhilarating. Some come with rain and cold. Some come in spirals and really try to fuck you up. Leaves let the wind carry them. Leaves let the wind decide where they land. Now I'm starting to feel cheesy but just don't be the leaf ok? Be the fucking tree. Feelings will come and they will sway you in one direction or another, some will test your roots, some will be so strong that you'll just want to uproot and go somewhere else. Repeat it when it gets so hard that you want to quit. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the wind pass over you but remain committed to the goal. Failure is not fatal. Quitting is fatal.
Imagine some strong feelings you may have about anything. ANYTHING. Like let's say you get really pissed off at your kid/spouse/animal/teacher/boss/whoever and you experience extreme feelings of anger. In this moment, when you want to say or do something fueled by this anger, this is when you repeat it, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the feeling of anger pass over you like the wind. THEN, react. And when you react and the feelings have somewhat passed, try to do it from a place of love (cheesy again, right?! This is sorta segueing into a future post). You can use this anytime in any situation. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Be the tree. Don't be the fucking leaf.
Even Feelings like this go away
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