2018 Arnold Grand Prix: Old Patterns, New Expectations

As I sit down to write this, I have no profound thoughts or huge take aways from the meet. Great opening line right? I decide to read my recap from last year to see if there is any profound differences. To search for inspiration. To find a gem. Truthfully, I feel a lot of the same things I felt then.

For instance, having feelings of burnout post nationals, gaining weight, having a smooth training cycle up until a few weeks out. Literally, all of the same patterns for this year. One of the key differences in 2017 and 2018 is that I knew before Nationals I was having feelings of burnout and I had a plan on how to deal with those feelings without derailing my training. I had expectations.

After Nationals last year, because I was new to the USAPL, I knew nothing of The Arnold or the timeline or how huge of a meet it was. 2018, I know I am going to do The Arnold and know in between October and the first weekend in March is a slew of holidays and 20 glorious weeks to hang out with family and friends, to over indulge, to sleep in if I feel like it, to train hungover, to have too many get togethers, to go to too many get togethers, and honestly have fun with training and put a little less pressure myself to be "in the zone". It was lovely. No, I wasn't lazy or missing training, but I was more relaxed than I was during the training cycle for Worlds and certainly fighting this particular mindset less than I was in 2017. Expectations.

I knew before competing at Nationals that I was going to The Arnold as a 63. I debated going to Nationals as a 63 but ultimately decided I needed more time. Had everything worked like I would have liked, I would be going to Worlds as a 63, but no dice there this year. As a disclaimer, this was a bit strategic on my part as at the National level, the 63's are extremely competitive and I know I need longer than 12 weeks to make the transition. This was my attempt at making the transition without having to take a year off from competing at Worlds but it is not to be this year.

All of this to say, in 2017 I was bringing it down to the wire to make weight as a 57 and I feel as though that had a big impact on my meet day performance. This year, obviously not a factor. This year, I knew I wasn't even going to look at a nutrition plan until January. A much needed break!

A couple of other strategies at hand were taking the ramp up to heavy ass shit slow. Lots of high bar squats, took the arch out on bench, and pulled sumo with the intention of taking it all the way to the meet. I really enjoyed this and so did my body.

Fast forward to heavy training. Things are going really well. MY BENCH! My bench was finally moving and I was PUMPED. Still pumped actually. As with 2017, in 2018 about 4 weeks out I am feeling a bit fatigued but that's to be expected. One particular training session, an important one, I fail a deadlift at 192.5kgs. After that miss, I am just toast. Misses don't bother me when they are just misses. Too heavy or a slip in technique, I can handle that. On this day, I just didn't have that gear. I felt like I was hitting the gas and nothing was happening. I decide I am just not feeling well and might be sick and go home. I WENT HOME. This is not typical. I always at least finish my session one way or another but I packed it up, went home and slept for 5 hours. The following week is deload so I figure it is right on time and I will bounce back for the last block of training.

During this deload week, I feel out my conventional pull and it felt like money. So we pull the plug on sumo about 3 weeks out. The week after deload I wake up Monday after a horrible night of sleep, which has been the norm for the past several weeks and look at myself in the mirror. MY FACE. MY EYE. It is red, and swollen, and sooooo itchy. I wake my husband up to confirm that my face is looking weird and I should probably seek medical attention. After training of course.

Go into the gym, ignore my face, say nothing to no one and just get the work done. Go to a walk in clinic. She gives me a prescription for an anti-viral but doesn't actually tell me a diagnosis. She suggests that I go to an ophthalmologist to make sure it is not infecting my eye because blindness is not cool. Long story short: I could not get into the eye doc without a referral, they won't take one from the walk in clinic, schedule appointment with primary care provider to get referral, he says, YOU HAVE SHINGLES, this is a run on sentence but imagine I'm saying it quickly and in one breath, and I say, I'm sorry what?????!!!

Yes, you have shingles on your face, you need to make sure it's not in your eye as soon as possible.

Oh. Well. Maybe that's why I have been feeling so horrible and have been having no energy and have been feeling weak af. HEW. So glad I'm not just fatigued or over trained or lazy. I am relieved to get through these meds and get this out of my system and maybe I still have a fighting chance at having a decent meet.

The meds are for 7 days. I get through the training. I am sleeping better but training is still feeling hard. I am tired and still don't have that low end gear needed for lifting heavy shit. At this point in training, I am suppose to be hitting big numbers but I just don't have it. I look up the side effects of the meds and they include cold symptoms, tiredness, headache, dizziness, etc. Relieved again! So, get through these 7 days and we'll be back on track!

Day 8. Meds are done. Going to bed early. Going to sleep well. Going to crush the last two weeks of training. Nope. I don't sleep at all. My face is itching throughout the night and now I know exactly what's going on. The shingles have returned. Insert blank stare face.

Go into the gym. Tell Wade the shingles are back. Will call the doctor as soon as they are open. Text Aaron that the shingles are back and we all agree to pull back on the training yet again. Aaron also increases my calories in an effort to get past this. Second round of meds on deck. I should finish them with a week to spare. Just in time to taper!

I finish the meds and am super paranoid they are going to come back. I keep looking in the mirror. I can't tell if I'm just being paranoid or if my face just itches like a normal itch??? I get a refill on the meds just in case. Then we head out of town for the meet!

Trust the Process. I actually really had to trust the process here. This was the blindest I have ever gone into a meet in regards to third attempts. I entertained the idea of lowering my squat opener. Instead, I watched training video after training video of me hitting 165kg over and over and over. So I stick with the plan. I can hit 165kgs with shingles. I can certainly hit it without them.

At a heavier body weight, I knew my wilks was going to take a hit. I knew going in that I would have to be aggressive on 3rds and have to make them not just to win, but to even place in the top two. I was so anxious to get to warm ups so I could have an idea of where I was at strength wise.

On to warm ups. The unracks feel like trash but the weight is moving. Last warm up, I unrack it and it still feels so heavy on my back. However, it floated and I knew we were in the money. First attempt is no problem. Always such a relief to get that first attempt in. Go to the planned second attempt, 175kg, the weight I missed at Nationals for a 3rd and it moves fine. Not the fastest I've moved that weight but no real issues. I let Wade and Aaron just make the call for the 3rd. They call 180kgs. We had planned a 180-185kg range for the third. From here, I knew I needed to actually make the lift, and I was confident I would, however I also knew we had our work cut out for us to place with only 180kg going into bench. Lift is good. 3/3 on squat. Also, PR on not making any sketchy walk outs!

Bench! So pumped to bench because I am so pumped to NOT bench 100kgs. Weight cuts and random shoulder issues have had me hovering at 100kgs for what feels like a lifetime. I was so excited when I finally hit it in a meet but I was ready for more. Warm up for bench feels pretty good. I keep touching too high but know I just need to find the groove with touch point and it will be fine.

Opener, 97.5kg, touch too high, but good. Second, 102.5, touch too high AGAIN and it shows but good lift. Buh bye 100kgs! We had planned 105-107.5kg for the 3rd on bench. I don't say anything to Wade and Aaron and again let them make the call. They call 105kg and justifiably so. DAMMIT! I am so mad at myself for making 102.5 look harder than it should. I refuse to make the same mistake on the 3rd. And I didn't. 105 looked better than 102.5 and I'm pissed at myself because I know I am short 2.5 very important kilos in my subtotal.

I am not exactly sure where Jen and Marisa are as far as total or made attempts. I had done enough calculating before the meet to know at this point I might be fighting for 2nd place but it was still going to be really tough without those 2.5-5kgs from my previous 6 attempts.

Deadlift warm ups feel AHHHmazing. Opener 177.5kg floated like a delicate butterfly. I walk off the platform and Wade, Aaron and myself all know we might have something in the dead. Went to 187.5kg on the 2nd and it felt good but truthfully not quite as snappy as I would liked only because I knew I needed a HUGE 3rd to place for a cash prize. 

Wade asks me if I want to go for it on the 3rd. He says he's gonna have to be really aggressive for 2nd place. I said load it. Why not? Deads are feeling good and maybe, just maybe I can make it happen. 200kgs. The first time it's ever been loaded in front of me. I broke it off the floor and was quite surprised! Couldn't get it past my knees. 3rd place it is. I'd be lying if I said I weren't disappointed in my placing. However, I hit some solid pr's, went 8/9, and all in all had a great meet!

22.5kgs on my total from the 2017 Arnold. 472.5kg total puts me in the top 5 for the 63kg weight class. That is nothing to be mad at. Looking back, everything was much the same, but this year, we were better. MUCH better. In hindsight, I wish I would have communicated with Wade and Aaron a little better either before the meet or during the meet about taking bigger risks on the thirds to build that subtotal.

As far as weight classes go, I am making my way back to 57kg for Worlds in June. I've been having this internal debate on when/if I should go up for a long time. The debate lives on.