Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Louis LaFont Biss

Leverages.
My name is Jennifer. I am Louie’s Granddaughter. Also, mother to his first great grandchild, but no big deal.
Some of you may know that I am competitive in the sport of powerlifting (or weightlifting as it is often called by family members). Well, by competitive, I mean, I’m one of the best there is. Literally, in the world of drug free lifting, you’re looking at one of the best in the world. No, seriously, I’m not kidding. I can legit bench more than 98% of this room. Now that I’ve established credibility, I can move on to my point. Most of lifting, is really just leverages. Leverages are really just the fastest and most efficient way from point a to point b.
When we organize our training, there is an analogy we use which is quite applicable to life. Powerlifting is made up of the squat, bench and deadlift. In training, we can think of what we need to do based on a bucket that needs to be filled up. First start filling up the bucket with large stones. These large stones represent the main movements. Squat, bench and deadlift. The remainder of your bucket should be filled in with smaller stones or pebbles, then sand, then water. Each represents different and necessary and individual ways to get stronger. All these things combined and your bucket is solid. No gaps. No weaknesses. Each element plays a different role but is necessary for a solid competition. 
Over the years of my life (not that many), I find it difficult to decide whether I am a large stone, a pebble, or sand or water. You see, I come from a large family. And then I did a thing where I also married into a large family. (I promise I’m gonna get to Louie, just bear with me). My husband’s family is really good at many things that I am not. One of them, is gift giving. (Actually also one of Louie’s strengths). They are all fantastic at gift giving. I sit there on Christmas day in shame as I am just not good gift giving. My father in law retired. It was a big deal. They were having a big party. I start to feel the pressure of “THE GIFT”  I ask my husband about “THE GIFT” and he’s no help. This is a guy who buys ceiling fans as gifts. Finally, I surrender. I ask myself, what am I good at? What can I leverage here? I call my mother in law, and say, “Listen, I’m no good at gifts. I don’t know what to buy. But what I can offer is cooking. I can cook all the food for the party” She sighs in relief. She is so happy to let me do the food and I AM SO HAPPY to offer it.
Within our family, we have so many leverages to offer. We are a lot of large stones, pebbles, sand and water. My Grandma, Nancy, if you ask me, offers polish. Many people offer a meal, or a sleep on their couch or in their home, a place to stay after college, a word of advice. My Grandma does all those things but does them with POLISH. If you come to stay on her couch, she makes that couch up with fresh sheets, and a fluffed pillow, and is sure you have the remote near you before she turns off all the lights off and tells you good night. If she provides you a meal, whether in your home or hers, all appropriate accompaniments are presents. Salad, bread, entrée, sides, desserts and all packaged perfectly. If you have a meal in her home, there is no worry or thought of condiments or napkins. She will set up your t.v tray, be sure the lighting is right and you have ice in your glass. Should you need a place to stay after college, she will pack your lunch and your co-workers will be envious of your well balanced meals. If you need a word of advice, she will offer it, and do it matter of factly and her thoughts will be clear but never rude. While my Grandma has many fantastic characteristics, the one that has always stood out to me is her polish.
We are a big family and that requires a lot of work for all of us to get together. Which translates to a lot of stones, pebbles, sand and water. We all float along with our different leverages. Depending on the time and the season, we have all likely been a stone, a pebble, sand or water. My father Larry, offers the leverage of fixing or building. My mother Anne, the leverage of small/special details. My cousin, Tony, the leverage of labor and presence. While I claim the leverage of cooking and meal planning in other arenas, Michelle and Mike are the keeper of that title here.  Aunt Tracy and her family, often the entertainers of little ones. Aunt Kathy, the décor specialist and often times playing the role of event coordinator or organizer. Aunt DiDi, the peace keeper, the keep on keepin on of the matriarch. And all of the rest of us, filling in with our pebbles and sand and water. 
And Grandpa. Louie. The constant. The king. Mr. Christmas. I’ve been thinking about this speech and what I wanted to say for some time. And truthfully, it’s nothing like the one I had been rolling around in my brain. I wrote it once several months ago. Again, a couple of days ago. And once more last night. And that’s ok. I’ve learned through writing, that you can’t get married to one singular idea, you’ve got to let it flow through you. Over the past few days, I think I speak for all of us when I say that time has not necessarily stopped, but has not necessarily existed either. As I said before, I’ve been struggling on where I fit in. On what I have to offer. I think it came to me Thursday night as we ended the sacred fire for my Grandpa. There is one role that is not often mentioned. The role of the observer. My Grandpa often the man behind the camera both literally and figuratively. Over the past few days we’ve had so many friends and family stop by. I know I speak for all of our family when I tell you how incredibly grateful we are that each of you came. I watched old friends and family of the past come and remanence about years past. I watched young cousins comfort each other and challenge one another to take the ride down the hill on the big wheel. I watched the new generation take the reins on cooking and cleaning as our mothers and fathers comforted one another and played host to my Grandma and Grandpa’s friends and family. For those few days, time in fact did not exist. The past, present, and future were all there mingled and mashed up together and it was as if someone painted a live portrait of my life and time did not exist.
 Gathered here today, there is a beautiful smorgasbord of people. Each of us here have a story. A role. A different one. We may sometimes be a large stone, a small pebble, sand, or water. And that makes up a great and varied and wonderful story. And my Grandpa listened to each one. And he listened to understand. And he accepted each of us whether we were a stone, a pebble, sand or water. And that’s why we are all here today. Because in some way, Louis LaFont Biss made each of us believe in ourselves and our own leverages… just a little bit more….one day at a time.  So…let’s raise our glasses……To Louie!..... May we forever be indebted to you and may we forever repay it.

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