Every good recap starts long before the actual part about the meet itself or maybe I'm a food blogger? I digress. I'm going to start all the way back at 2018 IPF Worlds. I knew that was going to be my last meet at 57. I knew that I would not be making an appearance at Worlds in 2019. I made a very calculated decision to go up to the 63's and take the summer off. The saltiness begins because what I expected to happen and what actually happened didn't align. A recipe for dissatisfaction. Cognitive dissonance has been haunting me ever since my third deadlift at 2018 Raw Nationals hit the ground.
2018 Raw Nationals ranks quite high in regards to performance and satisfaction. I finally managed to hit lifetime PR's on lifts. On my third deadlift, I was pulling to break a 500kg total. It would have been a hell of a get, but I just couldn't quite lock it out. I ended the meet with an American Record squat (also an unofficial World Record) and a 490.5kg total with 8 made attempts. My first real training cycle as a 63 set the standard HIGH. My expectations for training and numbers afterward followed suit.
Training was going fairly well up until about January and it just kind of fizzled out. I did The Arnold in March with a bench that left (read: I lost about 7.5kgs off my best), a stagnant squat, and deadlift that had sky rocketed only to slide backwards before the meet. I was pretty devastated and a lot salty. I most certainly did not want to do The Arnold much less The Grand Prix. However....I also do not want to be an ego driven lifter who only shows up when they think they can win or cause an uproar with records and such. For The Arnold our strategy was simply to get all 9 lifts and not chase any particular number or record or placing. I was in no mood to load numbers for the sake of loading of them when they simply weren't there and took it as an opportunity to practice restraint and maturity as a lifter and team. And we did. We went 9 for 9 and totaled 485kgs, 5.5kgs less than my total at Nationals.
Training after Nationals still didn't pick up much but it at least seemed to be holding steady, except for bench...it was still dragging it's feet. Even though training wasn't super exciting and at times my motivation was pretty low...I kept telling myself to keep showing up and to keep my effort in check. Still pretty salty just about ALL OF IT but, showing up.
In June, just before we went on vacation, we made an offer on a house. This is why I wanted to take the summer off. Even though I knew this was our plan, making the offer happened a little bit sooner than we really expected. Another thing that I didn't quite expect was the amount of FOMO I felt watching IPF Worlds.
We get back from vacation and I AM READY to hit the ground running. I am ready for training to take off and I AM READY for this house business to be taken care of. Well. Neither one of those things exactly took off. My focus was in about 238475937 places at once. Nonetheless, time only moves forwards and that's what I did.
When we actually moved, the physical part of moving, which coincided with school starting (#whyamilikethis), I believe is when we got behind the fatigue curve a little. I was tired, and hungry, and thirsty and my life and schedule were in shambles, but I made it to training...wearing the clothes I slept in the night before and with paint in my hair, but I showed up.
All of the aforementioned parts of life added up and were reflected in my training and how I felt. My knees were killing me. Waking me up in my shitty sleep killing me. With the lack of progress, and painful knees I thought I was old and had osteoporosis and this was the end. I had my day in the sun. However, after talking with a PT friend, I (she) figured my osteoporosis was patellar tendonitis so all hope was not lost for the long term. But I'm still salty...and showing up.
I keep waiting for the turn around. I am also looking at the calendar and I know I'm running out of time. Once we get over the big hump of moving and home improvements and start to get settled into the new school year....I start to settled into the idea that this meet is not going to be what I thought it would. I decide to adjust the goals. I tell Wade and Aaron that I'm just going to shoot for a PR total and a silver medal finish.
I'm about 3 weeks out and to be honest I am starting to question whether or not the adjusted goal is even attainable. I am salty about it. But I keep showing up. On the bright side. Bench starts to peek through the darkness. This takes a bit of the edge off.
I had been having some issues with sleep pretty much since we made the offer on the house. Just too much going on for my mind to just freakin relax. If you've been around a while, you know I train in the mornings before work. This makes for a pleasant combination. Wade was going to South Africa to compete in his IPF Worlds and I was happy and proud of him for making it there. It also happened to be my heaviest week of training. Call it divine intervention. Call it coincidence. Call it luck. Call it whatever you want. I had to switch my training to evenings for this last heavy week and I think it may have been what saved me.
This last week of training was a big ol breath of fresh air. I felt like myself again. I felt strong again. I also felt salty because I just couldn't help but think it was too late. I kept thinking, MAN, if I had one more week of this I could see PR's on the horizon. I can't control that though so I sack up and decide to ride the high of that last week.
ENTER: Podcast previews. ENTER: TRUCK LOADS OF SALT. Now. I do try to limit my ego. But let's be honest....having an ego is a prerequisite for powerlifting. My feelings were hurt. I kept running the numbers in my head. I'm thinking, I take one summer off and everything I've done has been erased. I felt left out but I let it fuel me (shout out to Matt Gary for having my back though).
Enter: Jennifer who won those titles and set those records. Let them sleep. I have done the work. I have set the appropriate goals. We have made the plan. That is what we do. We do the work, we set the goals, we make the plan, we execute the plan and the goals take care of themselves.
Ok, meet day details:
Surprise! I didn't sleep a wink the night before the meet. "Woke up" feeling like a steaming pile of week old garbage. I went for a walk with the hubs and we goofed off and make jokes and took pictures and it was enough to shake it. At some point I tried to think of how I had slept before any other meet. I couldn't remember. At that point I said to myself....it really doesn't matter. All that matters is what actually happens, so let's actually fucking go!
Squats:
The bar felt good. Everything else felt like garbage. Scanlon is opening 12.5kgs heavier than me. Embarrassing. I remind myself I had a plan and to only worry about executing MY plan. The outcome will take care of itself. I was very tempted to ask to drop my opener. My attempts were slightly more aggressive than my usual style. We knew I could hit the numbers and we were leaving the door open for an unexpected great day. Before the opener I told myself it was just about hitting it. It wasn't about it being super fast. Just get it. You've done this weight countless times. Opener was 170kgs and good. I repeat this talk to myself for my 2nd at 180kgs and it is good. For the third, I thought for sure the call would be 182.5kgs. Wade comes up to me and tells me that I'm going to have to dig. At that point, I knew he had called 185kgs. I LOVE a good affirmation. From the time I finished my second attempt, I repeated to myself, "Jennifer Millican goes 3 for 3 in the squat, lift is GOOD for Jennifer Millican". And it was. Wade and Aaron made the perfect call and I am feeling good about being able to deliver. We closed out squats in the number 1 position.
Bench:
WELL I'LL BE if bench didn't feel like I could have hit a life time PR. I complained about my bench nearly everyday. I made adjustments. I changed my training. I changed my set up. I changed my grip. I did literally everything and I never stopped trying. I was so pumped about my bench from that incredible meet a year ago and I refused to let it go. I hit 107.5kg in training a few times. I wanted 110kg SO BAD for my last heavy session but 107.5kg didn't move quite fast enough to warrant the call. So I hit 107.5kg for my final bench in training and would have been over the moon with 110kg in the meet. I hit 112.5kg in the meet and I'm not lying when I tell you it was better than the only other time I've hit it...which was at 2018 Nationals. Bench is still a bitch and I love her. Going into deads we are in 2nd place which I expected. But nothing can bring me down from the momentum I'm feeling.
Deads:
Deads felt like deads. Not super great but not horrible. At this point, it's just about securing the goals. Going into 3rds, Wade tells me I've got the silver place position and he is going to load 195kg to obtain our 2nd goal of a PR total. I knew I could get it. I knew it could be hard. When deadlifts are SUPER hard, I tend to gyrate (you heard me) which tends to make judging difficult. So I did have enough stress to constitute another affirmation. "Jennifer Millican goes 9/9 and takes the silver medal position".....and I did. Gyrations were not present (I think they are very fatigue related).
I went 9 for 9, totaled 492.5kgs and took silver. Scroll back up and re-read my goals, I'll wait.
I may have been salty, but I showed up. Ima take all this salt and use it to season this next training cycle.
Much love to Wade, Aaron, my husband, all of my team, family, and friends for sticking with me and refusing to quit believing and reminding me when reminding was needed.
#letsactuallyfuckinggo
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
Monday, March 11, 2019
2019 Arnold Grand Prix: The Great, The Good, and The Indifferent
500 Kilos. That was my original goal for 2019 Arnold. In the beginning, I was invited to the Pro/Am, not The Grand Prix. I'll admit, at first it stung.
Then, I embraced it. I liked the idea of a normal paced meet, likely the slowest paced meet I would have done since 2016 Raw Nationals. The C-Pod did always seem to have more hype from my perspective. It seemed to have more of a"home field advantage" kind of feeling. Not that the Grand Prix isn't great in it's own regard. I was perhaps looking forward to a different experience. Maybe, even one with less pressure.
500 Kilos. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. I told them this shortly after Nationals. Both of them said that would be easy. I thought it was reasonable. But then, I got to thinking. It seems easy. It seems easy because I just had a really great meet. Possibly, my best performance to date. So I've noticed, it's really difficult to follow up the best meet of your life with another best meet of your life. As I remember this little part, I take the 500 kilos and tuck it away into the 'let's wait and see' file.
I read a book called 'How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big' and it has been quite influential in many ways. Observing repeated patterns is one of the key tools I took away from the book. Just by observing a pattern, I can either interrupt it, avoid it all together, or go around it. I may not know the exact cause of the pattern, I just know it exists.
There are two patterns at play here. One is the aforementioned GREAT MEET and the pattern of the follow up. I've noticed for every three meets I do, one tends to be great, one good (or medium), and one shit, but for the sake of not sounding negative, I'll call it indifferent. Maybe it's the timing of the meets? Is it too much to ask for three really great peaks every year?
The other pattern is the curse of The Arnold. Every year, without a doubt, training for The Arnold is going tremendously. Right up until the last block. Every year, I'm ringing in the new year with huge numbers in the gym. I'm talking lifetime PR's type of numbers. And every year, by the end of January, my numbers tank. Seemingly out of nowhere. Maybe it's the post holiday lack of merriment that gets me down? Maybe it's the overwhelming guilt I feel for the all the parties I went to and all the money Santa (me) spent on Christmas? Maybe I just run myself into the ground from October to January and it finally hits me approximately 6 weeks out from The Arnold?
This year was no different. Squat and deadlift were doing quite well (deadlift in particular) and bench had been sort of lagging the whole time but I continued to be optimistic that it was going to show up. Until it didn't. Not only did it not show up, but it too started to regress. In my very unprofessional opinion, I believe an old nerve impingement (circa December 2015) had flared back up. No pain. Just no power. I lost ~7.5-10kgs on my bench. This really got me down.
About the time my training starts to slip backwards is about the time that I was asked to go to The Grand Prix. I was hesitant to accept. However, I do have some pride. So reluctantly, I make the move.
Don't worry, it gets worse from there. Every training session was a struggle. I legitimately wanted to withdraw. I begin to feel an immense amount of pressure to hit specific numbers that I know I don't have. What if I come in last (I did for all intents and purposes)? What if Scanlon takes my squat record on her 2nd (she did)? What if I fail a record attempt (I did not)? Maybe I should just weigh in heavy and avoid all pressures and comparisons? Maybe I should just withdraw?
Maybe, the only person putting this kind of pressure on me was ME? Maybe The Grand Prix is nothing to fuck with and I should just go and put up some solid numbers and be grateful that I was asked to be a part of it? Maybe I should just surrender to the patterns I've noticed and have peace in knowing that this meet isn't THE MEET but better this one than literally any other one? MAYBE, it's time for me harness my experiences and stop acting so green?
Let's go 9 for 9. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. At Nationals, I had the meet of my life, went 8/9 and totaled 490.5kgs. At sub-par condition, not a single grinder or even a slight risk, I went 9/9 and totaled 485kgs.
We played the pattern. Maybe we bypassed the total shit meet and turned into the indifferent meet. Maybe instead of pushing beyond my limits, leaving me with feelings of failure, we instead lifted within our means and I'm left with the feeling of hunger for the next great meet.
Then, I embraced it. I liked the idea of a normal paced meet, likely the slowest paced meet I would have done since 2016 Raw Nationals. The C-Pod did always seem to have more hype from my perspective. It seemed to have more of a"home field advantage" kind of feeling. Not that the Grand Prix isn't great in it's own regard. I was perhaps looking forward to a different experience. Maybe, even one with less pressure.
500 Kilos. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. I told them this shortly after Nationals. Both of them said that would be easy. I thought it was reasonable. But then, I got to thinking. It seems easy. It seems easy because I just had a really great meet. Possibly, my best performance to date. So I've noticed, it's really difficult to follow up the best meet of your life with another best meet of your life. As I remember this little part, I take the 500 kilos and tuck it away into the 'let's wait and see' file.
I read a book called 'How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big' and it has been quite influential in many ways. Observing repeated patterns is one of the key tools I took away from the book. Just by observing a pattern, I can either interrupt it, avoid it all together, or go around it. I may not know the exact cause of the pattern, I just know it exists.
There are two patterns at play here. One is the aforementioned GREAT MEET and the pattern of the follow up. I've noticed for every three meets I do, one tends to be great, one good (or medium), and one shit, but for the sake of not sounding negative, I'll call it indifferent. Maybe it's the timing of the meets? Is it too much to ask for three really great peaks every year?
The other pattern is the curse of The Arnold. Every year, without a doubt, training for The Arnold is going tremendously. Right up until the last block. Every year, I'm ringing in the new year with huge numbers in the gym. I'm talking lifetime PR's type of numbers. And every year, by the end of January, my numbers tank. Seemingly out of nowhere. Maybe it's the post holiday lack of merriment that gets me down? Maybe it's the overwhelming guilt I feel for the all the parties I went to and all the money Santa (me) spent on Christmas? Maybe I just run myself into the ground from October to January and it finally hits me approximately 6 weeks out from The Arnold?
This year was no different. Squat and deadlift were doing quite well (deadlift in particular) and bench had been sort of lagging the whole time but I continued to be optimistic that it was going to show up. Until it didn't. Not only did it not show up, but it too started to regress. In my very unprofessional opinion, I believe an old nerve impingement (circa December 2015) had flared back up. No pain. Just no power. I lost ~7.5-10kgs on my bench. This really got me down.
About the time my training starts to slip backwards is about the time that I was asked to go to The Grand Prix. I was hesitant to accept. However, I do have some pride. So reluctantly, I make the move.
Don't worry, it gets worse from there. Every training session was a struggle. I legitimately wanted to withdraw. I begin to feel an immense amount of pressure to hit specific numbers that I know I don't have. What if I come in last (I did for all intents and purposes)? What if Scanlon takes my squat record on her 2nd (she did)? What if I fail a record attempt (I did not)? Maybe I should just weigh in heavy and avoid all pressures and comparisons? Maybe I should just withdraw?
Maybe, the only person putting this kind of pressure on me was ME? Maybe The Grand Prix is nothing to fuck with and I should just go and put up some solid numbers and be grateful that I was asked to be a part of it? Maybe I should just surrender to the patterns I've noticed and have peace in knowing that this meet isn't THE MEET but better this one than literally any other one? MAYBE, it's time for me harness my experiences and stop acting so green?
Let's go 9 for 9. That's what I told Aaron and Wade I wanted for The Arnold. At Nationals, I had the meet of my life, went 8/9 and totaled 490.5kgs. At sub-par condition, not a single grinder or even a slight risk, I went 9/9 and totaled 485kgs.
We played the pattern. Maybe we bypassed the total shit meet and turned into the indifferent meet. Maybe instead of pushing beyond my limits, leaving me with feelings of failure, we instead lifted within our means and I'm left with the feeling of hunger for the next great meet.
Monday, February 11, 2019
Gratitude and what it means to me
When I was a kid, I watched powerlifting and bodybuilding on TV. I loved wrestling and sports. I played lots of sports as well. This was the beginnings of my quest for strength. Many years working on our farm and many others farms to make money, also lead to the natural strength that I was so blessed with. I remember seeing the first worlds strongman man contests on TV and thinking how cool it would be to some day compete in strength.
When I started competing in powerlifting, I had already been training for a few years. Simply training, working out and just trying to get strong. I had no desire to compete and honestly didn’t know of an outlet to do so. I was a big guy, enjoyed being strong and was fine with that. Back in those days, I had a bench and weights in my office where I worked. I had some dumbbells up to about 40 lbs. A co-worker would come down after hours and hand off to me and convinced me when I broke 300 in the bench, that I should do a meet. I was like, no way. He knew of a gym owner in Murfreesboro, TN. He stayed after me, and so there you have it. He came down, handled me at the meet, it was bench only. I met Anthony Clark and several local lifters, had a great time and was hooked.
There is a lot of story to be told between that day and now. I won’t make you suffer through all that but, it brings me to the history of what is now The Ogre Compound. In the late 90’s, I started acquiring equipment and making boxes and boards and anything else I could do to have the tools needed to get stronger. I would work side jobs and after paying bills, I would take the extra money and buy plates. I remember buying all the 2.5’s the money I had would buy and being questioned as to why I needed 20 of them. I knew someday, well I hoped, that I would have a place where like minded people could come and train and do great things and get strong and be part of a team.
In 2004, I moved into the house where the gym is currently housed. There was so much work done just to get a portion of it where we could train. In early 2004, we ran a regional meet in Bristol, VA. I bought my first of 3 monolifts at that meet and from there, the quest for more equipment really ramped up.2006 I opened the gym to private clients. I remember having 3 people and thought I was busy. In 2009, we build an addition where we currently have the monolifts and all things squat. From that point, we trained at the gym full time and have never looked back. Hard to believe how time has gone by. In 2013, I was at a meet in Cincy at The Sweat Shop judging. That is where I met Melissa or Missy as she is known. She moved here in 2014. We have made a house a home.
I have traveled all over the planet in my pursuit and others pursuit of strength. I have been fortunate enough to go to far away places with lifters and see and do great things with them both as a lifter and coach. It is now February of 2019. Missy has competed in powerlifting, making a comeback from serious injury the year before at strongman nationals and had a great day with a lifetime pr in the deadlift. We’ve seen newcomer Cooper compete in his first strongman competition. Then part of the team was at another meet, Deanna, Alli, Mark and Deek. All doing so well and lifting as a team. This weekend, Big Mikey competed in a meet, going 8-9 and taking best lifter. Next weekend, another part of the team is competing at a meet that part of the team is running and reffing and a state chair. We have a weekend to catch our collective breath and then off to the Arnold. Some of the team is competing there and I get to coach with my buddy Chris. In the midst of all this, I am lucky enough to have an online team of folks and they are training hard and competing everywhere. It never stops and there are no days off…it is exactly what I signed on for. The days can be long and hours tiring but, even in moments where I question myself as to why, it is never far away that I’m given a message or sign as to why I do this.
The gratitude comes from the trust all these folks have had in either coaching, equipment, facility, team and any number of things. For many of us, that little area downstairs is our social time, our solace and place of sanctuary. Where people from all places, races and religion simply come together with the common ground and goal to be the best versions of themselves and help each other achieve it. In the last month, I have had two people talk to me at meets that I had met earlier in my career. Patrick I met in the 90’s when he was 16! Now I coach him and he trains part time at the gym. Benita, {spelling?} saw me at a meet yesterday. I have seen her at a couple of events and thought, she looked super familiar. In talking, she said in so many words, you won’t remember this but 10 years ago…and I knew exactly at that moment how I knew her. Roughly 10 years ago, she contacted me about training. She was a professional wrestler and in the time of chatting and emailing back and forth, she got picked up and off she went. The world is such a small place at times. That lead me to tell the story of how I met Frank, who trains at the same gym she trains at. So many stories, so many lives and times shared.
At the meet yesterday, Jesse spoke to me and said it was good to see me and in so many words, was appreciative of everything I had done for him and the SPF. Just the way we were treated, how we are treated every where we go. Each weekend, I have had to leave the team to train without me. They, the team, have created a culture. I have been upstairs grabbing a bag to leave and can hear them laughing, cheering and yelling for one another. Yesterday, I got an email from a lifter and video and there they were, being a team and spotting and coaching and supporting each other. A few weeks back, we had the biggest amount of lifters training at the gym in its history and I took a moment to step outside, outside the noise of the team and whatever music was playing to have a quiet moment to look up and give the Big Guy a nod and simply to be thankful. I have been so blessed to have worked with so many people. To train with them, to coach them and watch incredible things take place. Many have slept here, have eaten here and had a drink or several here. Noone here is rich but, a great pal of mine who has become family like so many, once told me, I needed to decide what wealth was to me. Was it to have a lot of money as that is rich or see the blessings I have and the wealth of things that I get to experience, share and simply live. I was chatting with Jenn the other day and told her, while this is hard…she was on me about taking care of myself and resting as she knew I was tired…I am living my dream. No, I don’t have a giant facility with all the cool toys and such but, we have a gym. Sure, I built it and have spent my life buying things, building things and such but, they make it a gym. Anyone can have a building and fill it full of gear but, the lifters, the people, they make it a gym. A place to be, a place to share and a place to pursue.
I can say the same for the crew I get to work with online. Many of them have become family. We visit them and they come and stay with us. Many have had children or have gotten married. I have had a few of the guys after speaking with the Father’s of their now brides, message me to talk about what was to come. I have held babies and have been to graduations and go to family events. So, to say my cup is full is quite an understatement. Is it hard? Yes! Is it tiring? Yes…I should probably rest more than I do but, never feel sorry for me…I’ll never be rich and I’ll probably always drive some broken car and have a thing or two in need of repair on my house but, as long as I’m able, I’ll climb down those steep steps from my kitchen down into the gym, spilling coffee as I go. I remember when Wes visited as he lived elsewhere. He was about 14 and stood holding his back staring at the one monolift in the old part of the gym just incredulous, “we had a monolift”. Many years have passed since that moment but it is a vivid memory. And now, he coaches people here and trains here.
I’m not sure how well I have conveyed my thanks and gratitude here but, I assure you, I am so blessed and know I am blessed well beyond anything I deserve. There are so many of you over the years that I have worked with that there are simply too many to mention individually but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your belief. Any of you that know me, know that belief and the word believe means such a great deal to me. Thank you for your trust. Many have spouses and children that come here. To be trusted with them is an immense privilege. I have been able to coach some of the strongest women in the sport right here. To have that bond and trust means so much to me.
From here, I’ll say what I always say. I am going to try to be as strong as I can for as long as I can. I will continue to do what I can to learn and be open minded to new things and keep striving for what will help us all get that next pr, record and title. So, simply, from me to all of you that I get to be a part of life and lifting, so much thanks. The honor and blessing is mine.
When I started competing in powerlifting, I had already been training for a few years. Simply training, working out and just trying to get strong. I had no desire to compete and honestly didn’t know of an outlet to do so. I was a big guy, enjoyed being strong and was fine with that. Back in those days, I had a bench and weights in my office where I worked. I had some dumbbells up to about 40 lbs. A co-worker would come down after hours and hand off to me and convinced me when I broke 300 in the bench, that I should do a meet. I was like, no way. He knew of a gym owner in Murfreesboro, TN. He stayed after me, and so there you have it. He came down, handled me at the meet, it was bench only. I met Anthony Clark and several local lifters, had a great time and was hooked.
There is a lot of story to be told between that day and now. I won’t make you suffer through all that but, it brings me to the history of what is now The Ogre Compound. In the late 90’s, I started acquiring equipment and making boxes and boards and anything else I could do to have the tools needed to get stronger. I would work side jobs and after paying bills, I would take the extra money and buy plates. I remember buying all the 2.5’s the money I had would buy and being questioned as to why I needed 20 of them. I knew someday, well I hoped, that I would have a place where like minded people could come and train and do great things and get strong and be part of a team.
In 2004, I moved into the house where the gym is currently housed. There was so much work done just to get a portion of it where we could train. In early 2004, we ran a regional meet in Bristol, VA. I bought my first of 3 monolifts at that meet and from there, the quest for more equipment really ramped up.2006 I opened the gym to private clients. I remember having 3 people and thought I was busy. In 2009, we build an addition where we currently have the monolifts and all things squat. From that point, we trained at the gym full time and have never looked back. Hard to believe how time has gone by. In 2013, I was at a meet in Cincy at The Sweat Shop judging. That is where I met Melissa or Missy as she is known. She moved here in 2014. We have made a house a home.
I have traveled all over the planet in my pursuit and others pursuit of strength. I have been fortunate enough to go to far away places with lifters and see and do great things with them both as a lifter and coach. It is now February of 2019. Missy has competed in powerlifting, making a comeback from serious injury the year before at strongman nationals and had a great day with a lifetime pr in the deadlift. We’ve seen newcomer Cooper compete in his first strongman competition. Then part of the team was at another meet, Deanna, Alli, Mark and Deek. All doing so well and lifting as a team. This weekend, Big Mikey competed in a meet, going 8-9 and taking best lifter. Next weekend, another part of the team is competing at a meet that part of the team is running and reffing and a state chair. We have a weekend to catch our collective breath and then off to the Arnold. Some of the team is competing there and I get to coach with my buddy Chris. In the midst of all this, I am lucky enough to have an online team of folks and they are training hard and competing everywhere. It never stops and there are no days off…it is exactly what I signed on for. The days can be long and hours tiring but, even in moments where I question myself as to why, it is never far away that I’m given a message or sign as to why I do this.
The gratitude comes from the trust all these folks have had in either coaching, equipment, facility, team and any number of things. For many of us, that little area downstairs is our social time, our solace and place of sanctuary. Where people from all places, races and religion simply come together with the common ground and goal to be the best versions of themselves and help each other achieve it. In the last month, I have had two people talk to me at meets that I had met earlier in my career. Patrick I met in the 90’s when he was 16! Now I coach him and he trains part time at the gym. Benita, {spelling?} saw me at a meet yesterday. I have seen her at a couple of events and thought, she looked super familiar. In talking, she said in so many words, you won’t remember this but 10 years ago…and I knew exactly at that moment how I knew her. Roughly 10 years ago, she contacted me about training. She was a professional wrestler and in the time of chatting and emailing back and forth, she got picked up and off she went. The world is such a small place at times. That lead me to tell the story of how I met Frank, who trains at the same gym she trains at. So many stories, so many lives and times shared.
At the meet yesterday, Jesse spoke to me and said it was good to see me and in so many words, was appreciative of everything I had done for him and the SPF. Just the way we were treated, how we are treated every where we go. Each weekend, I have had to leave the team to train without me. They, the team, have created a culture. I have been upstairs grabbing a bag to leave and can hear them laughing, cheering and yelling for one another. Yesterday, I got an email from a lifter and video and there they were, being a team and spotting and coaching and supporting each other. A few weeks back, we had the biggest amount of lifters training at the gym in its history and I took a moment to step outside, outside the noise of the team and whatever music was playing to have a quiet moment to look up and give the Big Guy a nod and simply to be thankful. I have been so blessed to have worked with so many people. To train with them, to coach them and watch incredible things take place. Many have slept here, have eaten here and had a drink or several here. Noone here is rich but, a great pal of mine who has become family like so many, once told me, I needed to decide what wealth was to me. Was it to have a lot of money as that is rich or see the blessings I have and the wealth of things that I get to experience, share and simply live. I was chatting with Jenn the other day and told her, while this is hard…she was on me about taking care of myself and resting as she knew I was tired…I am living my dream. No, I don’t have a giant facility with all the cool toys and such but, we have a gym. Sure, I built it and have spent my life buying things, building things and such but, they make it a gym. Anyone can have a building and fill it full of gear but, the lifters, the people, they make it a gym. A place to be, a place to share and a place to pursue.
I can say the same for the crew I get to work with online. Many of them have become family. We visit them and they come and stay with us. Many have had children or have gotten married. I have had a few of the guys after speaking with the Father’s of their now brides, message me to talk about what was to come. I have held babies and have been to graduations and go to family events. So, to say my cup is full is quite an understatement. Is it hard? Yes! Is it tiring? Yes…I should probably rest more than I do but, never feel sorry for me…I’ll never be rich and I’ll probably always drive some broken car and have a thing or two in need of repair on my house but, as long as I’m able, I’ll climb down those steep steps from my kitchen down into the gym, spilling coffee as I go. I remember when Wes visited as he lived elsewhere. He was about 14 and stood holding his back staring at the one monolift in the old part of the gym just incredulous, “we had a monolift”. Many years have passed since that moment but it is a vivid memory. And now, he coaches people here and trains here.
I’m not sure how well I have conveyed my thanks and gratitude here but, I assure you, I am so blessed and know I am blessed well beyond anything I deserve. There are so many of you over the years that I have worked with that there are simply too many to mention individually but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your belief. Any of you that know me, know that belief and the word believe means such a great deal to me. Thank you for your trust. Many have spouses and children that come here. To be trusted with them is an immense privilege. I have been able to coach some of the strongest women in the sport right here. To have that bond and trust means so much to me.
From here, I’ll say what I always say. I am going to try to be as strong as I can for as long as I can. I will continue to do what I can to learn and be open minded to new things and keep striving for what will help us all get that next pr, record and title. So, simply, from me to all of you that I get to be a part of life and lifting, so much thanks. The honor and blessing is mine.
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