Permission to Love

My last post ended with a statement about how love is always the answer. This post is going to explain that. When I say love, I don't mean the feeling of love. The butterflies you get, the sweaty palms, the day dreaming, the sense of urgency to spend every second of your life with someone. That's a feeling. And ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Even love feelings. I mean the action of love. I say love, but you could use a number of different terms. Love is what makes sense to me. Love is an action that is taught. Love is the first layer of the brain that is formed. The brain is like an onion. It's built in layers. That's why the whole 'you gotta crawl before walk' is pretty much true. It's also why you can't reason with a threenager. Only people without children believe that you can. Children are incapable of reasoning until a certain age (this all varies of course from child to child so don't hassle me) so until then, your best bet is to hold on and love the shit out of them. When you bring home your teeny tiny bundle of joy, the FEELINGS you have will be varied and overwhelming. Some say they are in love. Which is weird. It's weird because I typically imagine those puppy love type of love feelings when parents say that, but maybe that was before I had my own children???? Annnnnway, there are a lot of feelings. When your tiny baby cries, and you respond, that builds the baby's first layer of the onion. The love layer. The meeting basic needs layer. The I don't give a shit if it's 2 am or if you're at dinner, please feed me layer. Responding to your newborn, teaches the newborn that it's safe and taken care of, it's not starving and not freezing, and if someone or something were to try to eat it or carry it off or maul it, if it cried, you'd come running to help it. So after that layer is built it can move on to learning other things. See how that works?? So it's a really important layer. By responding to your newborn, you give it permission to go ahead and move towards not being a newborn. You give it permission to communicate with you. You'll be there. You're the one to cry for. You're the one that knows what to do. It's a really really important layer. Simple right???

BAHAHAHAHAHHA. BA.HA.HA.HA. Simple, yes. Easy, no. Say it with me, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Even those lovey dovey newborn feelings. Even those feelings you had for your perfect offspring go away. A few weeks in and you'll question your choice to pro-create. When you drag your starving, dirty clothes wearing, sleeping in the recliner, boob hanging out, milk everywhere, smelly self up to respond to your precious bundle of joy........your feelings won't exactly be feelings of love. You will be acting out of love. At least that's what I'm calling it. So now we are on the same page about what I'm calling love.

Actual Threenager

Perspective is a funny thing. It can be both detrimental and somewhat magical. In the one hand, the only perspective that matters is your own. Let's face it, you will never be able to accurately see another person's perspective because your own perspective is blocking your view. When I was in kindergarten I remember how magical I thought my teacher was. She was full of knowledge, incredibly kind and if I turned my head just right I could see her halo. One day I was sitting on the carpet eagerly awaiting the next magical thing on the agenda and she began to tell a story to which I remember none. You see, my listening skills came to a screeching halt when she said something about going to the grocery store. Wait. What? Why in the hell would she go to the grocery store? There is an entire cafeteria down the hall filled with every kind of food a person could want! My mind was exploding trying to imagine her at the grocery store. How did she even get there? Did the school bus take her? Why would she go anywhere else? There were those great mats for sleeping, structured activities, scheduled eating times, and several bathrooms. Why ever leave the kindergarten building? As far as I knew, my teacher was only a teacher. Now, obviously my perception wasn't detrimental and that of a child. I tell you this story to illustrate just how inaccurate perception can represent reality. Reality, can only be seen through the eyes of the observer, which is a moot point, because in life we all have a dog in the fight whether we realize it or not. So, if you understand that perception isn't a true depiction of reality, and you can control your perception (you can) why not just make it a perception with rose colored glasses? THEN, perception becomes magical. I'm not suggesting that you live in la la land and get taken advantage of. I'm suggesting that you control your perspective to a point that it positively impacts your life, your reactions, your mood, your mindset.

Recently, I received an email from a person I was once best friends with. Over time we grew apart and became nothing more than 'friends' on social media. I have had no ill feelings towards this person. I've had no feelings about this person in general. As far I as knew, she had no feelings about me either. Some things 'happened' on social media and I decided to block her because I will not have rude, unnecessary comments on my page. Let me tell you, if you want to hear from someone, block them. The email included all sorts of terrible things, but below is the one line that stuck:

 Wrong. YOUR perception is YOUR reality. Now, obviously this is the detrimental side of perception. So personally, I'm strapping on my rose colored, love filled glasses and will keep marching forward. I give you permission to do the same. When you face struggle, negativity, adversity, and you overcome, you give others permission to overcome. When you slack off, make negative statements, make fun of people, have a piss poor attitude, act out of anger, you give them permission to do that also. Weak minds will follow suit when those around them are negative. Weak minds will post, share, comment, like and further spread negativity when another person does so. My heart aches for society when there is a tragedy and the best we can do is make memes that are satirical, passive aggressive, sarcastic, egotistical, and just flat out mean spirited. It seems as though we've forgotten that actual people exist. Struggle is a gift. It's a gift because you have the strength to overcome it. When I was young(er), I didn't see it this way. I saw it as a burden. An excuse to crumble and make bad choices. An excuse to take the easy way out. Luckily, I married someone that has guided me toward realizing the strength that I was blind to for so long. I noticed something along the way; when I held myself to a higher standard, those around me did the same. When I decided to believe in ME, I noticed that others started believing in themselves too. If you have been given the gift of struggle, and we all have, you have a responsibility. You have a responsibility to strap on your rose colored glasses, and get to work. You have a responsibility to overcome with love. When your baby cries, you have a responsibility to take care of it. You have a responsibility to forgive when someone does you wrong. You have a responsibility to reach out to a friend in need. You have a responsibility to be vulnerable. You have a responsibility to keep moving forward when you're hurt. You have a responsibility to act out of love. You have a responsibility to be great. When you give yourself permission to absolutely crush these responsibilities, you give others the same permission.

This is me giving you permission to act out of love. This is me giving you permission to be great. This is me giving you permission to fulfill your potential. This me giving you permission to hold yourself to high standards and be unapologetic about it.

Now you officially have a responsibility to give permission to others.  

#poweryourown

When the Time Draws Near

When the time draws near

While I’m writing this, understand that the pain I am experiencing is my pain. It hurts and pain is something I live with being a master strength athlete. I have had moments the past 2 days that got to the point that I had to have help getting shorts on so I could go downstairs in the gym. Yeah, pretty defeating and scary to be sure.  It in no way compares to what the kids of Relentless experience on a daily basis. It doesn’t compare to what my Dad went through having brain surgery two months before his passing that never allowed him to once again be in his home and dying without the dignity he deserved. It also doesn’t compare to the cancer, regardless of how it got there, that my Mother passed with only 16 months later.  There are so many out there that know real pain. While this hurts, it still, doesn’t compare.  I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that it scares me. That it seems set backs come quicker and more frequent but, at the end of the day, while very painful, it simply doesn’t compare.

All this said, I know the time draws near where I won’t be Big Wade anymore. That lifting “big” weights are behind me and trust me when I say, I know the feeling of the fall off of strength. Some of it was self-imposed with weight loss and simple life changes and priorities. It is a frustrating process even if you can intellectually see that hey, you are getting “older”. I have embraced more and more my place in strength sports from being more a coach than competitor but, I still want to be big and strong. However, my body is saying my time is near.

So what does that mean? I can’t lift? I am injured 2.5 weeks out of a meet that means so much to so many that I may not be able to lift? It means, to me, I still have to believe. I have to push and this is part of the reason I push myself and the ones in my charge so hard. Lifting, strength and competing, it is something we do, it is not, however, who we are.  I am a Dad to a wonderful son that no matter what is a light and the best thing I ever was part of creating and doing. I am a partner/spouse to someone that gets me and loves me and believes in me and we share a great life. I am a coach to some of the greatest lifters and athletes you can imagine and I am a friend and mentor to many that have given me the privilege to do so.  I am truly blessed. What all this means is, I am down, I feel a little defeated, I am scared and looking in the face of reality. I know that I’ll continue to lose strength, size and simply not be what I once was. However shallow that may be, it is real nonetheless to me but, I know that I can’t stop. I have to try and more, do. A standard was set for me by those that came before me and then the ones in my charge and the path I created is my responsibility to tend. For my parents memory, for pals like Nick “Bully” Busick and many others and for the kids of Relentless, I have to push on. Maybe I have to token everything. Maybe I’ll hurt worse. Maybe something breaks but, if I go down, I go down pushing. I am much more about burning out then fading away. I will use my pain and the pain of others, to push and do my best. When you pray, pray for those mentioned. Pray for them a relief in pain, healing and peace. As for me, I just need the chance to continue to push.

In closing, I know that the road behind me is more than what is in front of me and that’s ok. A great pal of mine always ends his postings with Always Believe, and Frank, I’m with you.  I have the word believe everywhere in the gym and in my house and both Missy and I have it tattooed on our bodies. So, I will push and I will believe that in doing so, it serves a purpose. I got treatment from a teamogre athlete Autumn and will see her again this evening, so for that, I think you. Thanks for the support of Missy and my son Wes who ran the gym last night and Missy again that had to help me put my shorts on this morning. For Shorty giving me a brief peptalk and Annie for encouraging me not to worry and stay moving. It’s these reasons and more why I continue to push, to work and to believe.  I am hurt, really hurt but, I have to go and show and do my very best. It’s the example we have to set for those that are upcoming, the ones that created our pathway and the ones that truly know pain so, today, I will do my best to live Relentless and believe.

I think today, I’ll eat pizza…

Lift heavy, train smart & eat more pizza

When Enough Is Enough

When enough is enough

By Wade Johnson

I love social media and I love people. While I know that there is so much that is negative and there is some really bad shit going on in the world and close to home, I still have faith in humanity and I see the positive of our information age we currently live in. That being said, here lately, a few things that I read have finally gotten under my skin and while what draws my ire may not mean shit to you, I am betting more relate than don’t.

I have read from coaches, lifters and regular people, which should draw some barbs, of all the things we do wrong.  We shouldn’t refrigerate our eggs, it’s stupid that we sit on the commode instead of crouching and poop wrong to how the Russians train better than us to if the Republicans win the presidential office, they are moving out of the country.  Can we dispense with the utter nonsensical bullshit already? But, that’s not what finally drew me in. No, no, it goes deeper than that. So, in no particular order and, I’m not going to reference anyone directly as this is not about the person but, to talk about the comments and how inaccurate they are.

Comment #1

A weightlifter commented on a video about drug use. It basically said that the video was convincing enough to not take steroids and that it was part of the reason they chose not be a “serious” powerlifter. Then went on to say that there was no judgement but that “winning” wasn’t that important to them. Now, on the surface, maybe that doesn’t bother you but, it does bother me. In a broad statement this post says “serious” powerlifters are using. I realize that’s not a quote but, you don’t have to be very clever to understand the underlying message being said here. I take acceptation to that and I’ll tell you why. It misrepresents me and more, it misrepresents all the lifters I have, both past and present, worked with that chose to be serious and drug free. It also misrepresents all those out there that chose a drug free pathway and are very serious powerlifters. Now, I don’t care what you do. You want to use drugs, so be it but, I do care what I do and I also care about the lifters I coach. Now the ironic part of all this. I remind you, this came from a weightlifter, oly for you non WL types, that is saying “serious” powerlifters are using. Has anyone read about all the B sample failures of the past 2 Olympic Games in “weightlifting”? Aren’t these guys “serious”? What about the recent world championships and all the failures there? The point to all this, broad stroked statements not based in fact are simply ignorant and eventually someone is going to post a rebuttal…well, here it is. The lesson to learn is when you point a finger so broadly, it is likely to point back at you.

Comment #2

Anyone lifting in a non-tested federation is clearly using.

Seriously? Can you smell the stupidity with this one? That’s like saying everyone that lifts in a tested federation is clearly drug free. If the original statement had been made by a newbie or teenager, I could understand being that naïve but, this wasn’t. While I won’t throw any names out there, this person was completely off base. I have chosen to lift where I lift due to a few reasons that are important to me. 1, proximity…I have spent lots of money flying here and there to compete at all levels and in different sports. Eventually, I was more after numbers than titles and the money spent to travel became the money saved in order to purchase gear to build my gym. So, less travel meant more money for equipment. 2, the equipment at the meet. In my past, you never knew what you were going to get and being able to, not only know but, have consistent equipment was very important to me. 3. Being familiar with the people of the federation. All this said, it’s a personal decision not unlike deciding whether to use drugs or not. That does not however automatically make me, or anyone else, a user because of the venue they choose. Now, by association does that make me guilty? Nope but, does it give the federation the right to test me should they wish based on my numbers? Sure and it has happened and I completely understand that but, a federation leader and someone not in the know are two completely different things.

Comment #3

This person trains at a certain gym so, obviously they use.

Again, this is completely ignorant and if you don’t know for sure, you really shouldn’t speak on it. You can speculate all you want but, in many cases, you are talking about someone’s livelihood and there can be issues created for it even being speculated. And is that fair? What if the same were speculated about you and then pasted all over social media? See, so long as it’s about someone else, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Just common sense and courtesy that unless you know something and it’s been proven, you are again, likely looking foolish and how does the quote go? Better to be thought a fool and remain quiet then to open your mouth and remove all doubt…

Comment #4

The Natty lifter Meme about no one caring about natty lifters.

It’s funny and I even chuckled. However, what I was not humored by were all the corresponding remarks about how natty lifters were annoying. So if I get this straight, it’s ok to be an illegal drug user but being a drug free lifter is somehow annoying and therefore bad? I realize we have some non-user types that would tell you that by using and lifting in non-tested feds and even using anything more than single ply gear is the devil and you suck and that, I agree, is annoying and is as small minded as the above comments. But again with the broad stroke to be inclusive of all natty lifters? See, I just can’t stand that and so, this blog was born. Look, I’m not the moral compass for anything. I do what I do because mainly, it’s what I either want to do or feel compelled to do. But, I also know that just because someone is honest and open about usage, it only makes them honest and open. It doesn’t make it legal, by fed rules in most instances and the law, it doesn’t make it right and it certainly doesn’t make you better. I’m not thumping my chest because I chose the drug free path. My career stands on the results. That may or may not impress you but, I would bet a lot of money that doesn’t even belong to me that most of those posters couldn’t do what I have done and continue to do. I made my choice for me and for my son and that is enough for me.

Last, and this is an observation or two and not about a comment. There are 2 things I see that trouble me.

    1.  I have seen postings and videos about degrading a training method in the attempts to get you, a consumer and trainee type, to buy into their method of training. This is not only bad form, it’s deceiving and simply disrespectful. Can you not allow the results of yourself and the trainees that are in your charge speak for that? Can you not just provide information and science that provides answers to our questions about your training? Or, is it better for FB and IG hits and likes and such if you post something derogatory and controversial? Eventually, and that’s sooner than later in most cases, the truth comes out and, the cream rises to the top or there is proof in the pudding. All this other stuff is simply childish.

2.      
        Last, I see tons of lifters video out there. I simply love it but a trend that concerns me is when coaches make the lifters lifts about them above the merit of the lifter. Yes, I realize how much goes into coaching and the cost, the sacrifice and all the work you put into lifters but, if you are in every video and making you part of the liters lifts, then I question your commitment to the lifter and the lifters success. I recently saw something from Westside Barbell that I love. It is posted below and rings so true. If you are coaching, be about your athletes. If you are worth it, the athletes will sing your praise or more, they will continue working with you and even paying you and for me, that is worth more than any social media outlook like or hit or whatever. Maybe I’m old and don’t get it but, it seems to me that there are things that don’t go out of fashion like respect and keeping your tongue on matters you don’t know anything about.

So, to close. I hope you enjoy this and if I have offended you, I’m around many meets and gyms and am happy to discuss this. I respect your right to disagree with me so long as you respect my right to have the same say and ability to have that say as you do.

So, until I again decide to do this, Lift Heavy, Train Smart & Eat More Pizza!!!

Being the Oak tree and bullet points and why they work and are important

Being the Oak tree and bullet points and why they work and are important. 

By: Wade Johnson 

How’s that for a title?

I am the head ogre, coach, Oak tree, owner and story teller at the Ogre Compound. For anyone that doesn’t know me, I’m a powerlifter, strongman, weightlifter competitor passed my prime but, I have a love for the strength sports and more, the athletes that train and compete in these sports, as well as others. I have been fortunate enough to compete and do well in the 3 strength sports listed, won a few cool meets/titles along with breaking some decent records and built a gym/training compound, if you will. My joy is the pursuit of strength and the pathway required to do them well. I am lucky enough that many lifters past and present, share that passion with me. Okay then, enough about my fat ass. 

If you have read any of the blogs by some of the ladies that train at our place, you see a pattern with them. They find things that they can attach an understanding to whether it be for inspiration, understanding or simply because it puts them in their spot, so to speak. What I have learned over the years, is coaching is more an art than science. I know, there are those out there that will argue that. They will tell you why you shouldn’t do a particular training method because the method or ebook or whatever they are selling is better. They will dazzle you with science and almost sound as if they are walking around the gym in a lab coat. Well, bullshit…Hey, I like the science behind things and most of those guys out there that are selling training, are way smarter than me and I can totally dig the fact that they “know” what they are talking about but…and I digress, it’s when you are in the thick of it in training and the trenches of competing on the platform that if you have done your job as a coach, art comes through and wins every time. I don’t want to discount the intellect, the science and such of it all but, all that shit is meaningless if it doesn’t translate to the athlete and the sum total of this, is success on the platform. 

Something my girls like, and before you militant types carry on about me calling them my girls, it’s an affectionate thing. They know, first and foremost that I respect them. I am coach, I watch over them and so, therefore, are my girls and I love them. SO, simmer down before you get ruffled up by what I call them. Anyhoo, my girls will attach meaning to something I say. Jenn likes to call them bullet points and I’m for whatever works. I think it was Annie who first call them Wade-isms and that was followed up with Cory wanting to do a girls beer drinking and list all the wade-isms…see why I love them? So, I am doing 10 that I can remember off the top of my head and they can do addendum blogs, post or whatever you kids call it these days. 

Warning, I usually forgo anything off color on the podcast and article stuff I do but, in this case, it would lose its flava and simple realism. We are in the gym and we aren’t working out, we are training and these lifters are trying to win, break records and be elite. We are in there to get shit done, not fucking play checkers. So, if you are offended, you should have by now, already closed this out.  You start posting shit and I’ll tell you ahead of time, go fuck yourself. Find the positive here and understand, a lot of these lifters are already elite, hold records and do so in multiple sports and there weights aren’t heavy, they are lethal so, being polite is reserved in greeting them and saying have a great day when they leave. 

Wade-isms

In the gym

1. Create your own groove

This came to be with Annie. A little back ground, I was the head judge at Annie’s 1st real meet and she was green, very green but, she is vivacious and spirited and more, she really wants this and that’s all I need to see. She has since then totaled elite raw in 2 weight classes and is close in a 3rd.  The moment this came into being was a deadlift session. Annie lifts the most weight here but, was having form issues and was particularly frustrated at her performance and exclaimed, “I keep trying to find my groove!”…and I yelled, or said loudly as yelled may be overstated, “don’t search for your groove”. “Create your groove”. Annie needed to dictate what she wanted the weight to do. Seems simple and you will find that all these isms are very simple as I’m no cerebral giant but, I have learned that simplicity serves you better than complicating things. It was the cue she needed and now, it helps her be intuitive with her form and approach to all facets of her training and lifting. 

2. Don’t lift the weight, execute your form

Seems simple enough…this is where a lifter is so worried about all the technical things. Stay tight, pace, be explosive and the list goes on and on and that’s too much to think about in the 5-10 seconds it takes to complete a lift. The focal point becomes the weight on the bar and that’s where it goes awry. Focus on the execution. Visualize, do what you have done every time we train. Make it intuitive, automatic. 

3. Square and squeeze and show them

This started with Missy. She was having issues with the shoulders being pulled forward in the deadlift. I told her to square the shoulders…most lifters initially will arch the back and not actually square anything, let alone the shoulders. So, I asked her, “how would you show me your boobs?” “Would you have your shoulders pulled forward and leaning forward or would you square up and push them up where I could see them?” And boom, she got it and has since added 25 lbs to her deadlift. It’s a cue we use with everyone, both male and female. 

4. I don’t give a fuck how you feel

I think this came into being Missy as well. Now, Missy is very technical. She is a nurse and really smart, too much for her own good in this setting and realizes when her glutes don’t’ fire right or something is out of alignment or something else that is preventing her execution of what I want her to do. It’s fucking infuriating and I finally exclaimed one session, “I don’t give a fuck how you feel?” Now, does this mean that I don’t care? No, it doesn’t but the bigger deal is, what happens if something doesn’t feel just right or perfect on meet day? Are we quitting, are we not going to do our best or not perform? That’s not going to happen. So, I don’t care if it feels perfect and I’ll go a step further. We video almost everything, certainly main lifts. I can’t tell you how many times I hear and I have even said myself how something looked way better than it felt. I’m going to let a really big cat out of the bag here. It’s fucking heavy, this is powerlifting and shit is really hard to do. So…it’s going to feel hard and even awkward and difficult. That’s what it’s supposed to do. It’s our job to be taught and learn how to execute but, it’s still weight and really hard to do. 

5. Punch and squeeze

This was a cue that came in weightlifting and not with anyone I coached. It was with a team of lifters that are weightlifters that I trained with. We use it when we bench at the gym. To explain, a lifter was doing the jerk portion of the clean and jerk and right before locking out, would lose tightness and miss the lift. So I yelled punch. The punch is something that cued the lifter, who was a girl by the way, to be tight, not just ballistic but, maintaining tightness and to really punch the weight to lock out and then squeeze, to maintain the tightness to hold it at lock out while completing the recoup portion of the lift. It really clicked with her and in the bench press, same principal. How many times have you seen a lifter really explode off the chest and lose a lift that looked like it was going to be automatic? So the cue became a perfect reminder while lifting to maintain the tightness required to get the weight ot lock out and hold for the rack command and punch and squeeze sounds a lot cooler and is easier to say that all that shit I just typed. 

6. Don’t press the weight, push it away

This is a bench press cue and overhead cue. For me, personally, if I lift the weight, the focal point of the weight is in my hands, versus my entire body, if that makes sense. When I think push the weight away, I immediately change my approach and use the bench pad as leverage to push the bar away from versus press the weight up. This has been very effective it cueing the lifter to really engage the upper back and lats. It’s not fancy or really all that clever but, has been every effective.

7. Be patient

Again, this start with both Annie deadlift, as well as, Missy. They would rush the set up and then get over the bar and be pulled forward. So we are patient with the loading aspect of our pull form and the results have been really good. It makes the lifters go through the entire set up process, where most lifts are actually lost in my opinion and teaches them to be habitual or ritualistic with how they approach the bar. This makes the entire set up process very intuitive and makes the start point of each lift very consistent. 

8. There are 2 answers yes or no

I am unsure when this started but, this is something I hit Bobby and Skwrl with a lot, not to mention Missy. I will ask a question and I will get all this information. That’s usually good but, in this setting, I need to know yes or no-see, black and white. There is no gentle gray area with powerlifting and strength, for that matter.  Did you lift it, yes I did, no I didn’t. All the other words are bullshit and waste a lot of time and in general, piss me off.  With strength, there are 2 things and 2 things only. I did or I didn’t, everything else is meaningless. 

9. Quit being a fucking pussy

Seems simple enough. It’s an oldy but a goodie. It’s really simple. There are times where people are trying but, they aren’t pushing hard enough and I have yet, in this setting anyway, seen anyone that enjoys being pointed out as the gym pussy. I have seen this over and over convert and transform a lifter being a baby into an intense lifter…job completed. And, you know, sometimes you just have to be reminded you are being a fucking baby, pissing me off and need to shit and get it and get the job done. It’s one of my favs

10. The premise of strength is easy but, it’s really fucking hard

I know how ridiculous this one sounds but, this is probably the most profound thing I ever say and it even has a hint of being philosophical. You will see people in articles and online and at meets and every gym that use lots of big words and heavy vocabulary and can use a square and trigonometry in trying to explain lifting. I like things to be broken down in its most basic and simple form. I have also learned with strength and most facets of life, things are relatively simple. That said, they are rarely easy and simple and easy are never quite the same thing. Strength is easy. You pick it up, you pull it, push it or squat it, maybe you even throw and/or kick it but, as simple as all that sounds, to be the best at it, it’s really hard to do. 

So, for now, that covers a list, not even top 10, just the ones I could remember. Hopefully, the team can come up with more and perhaps better translate the meaning of what they think I’m saying and some cool and colorful stories along the way. 

Until the next time I decide to do this…

Lift heavy, train smart & eat more pizza. 

Feelings and Why They Don't Matter

Ahhhh feelings. Feelz. Warm and fuzzy. Love. Anger. Jealousy. Lust. Pain. Pleasure. Sadness. Happiness. All dem feelz.

If you've read any of my other posts you might have an idea of how passionate I am. If you haven't, well, go read my other posts! I'm a passionate person. I care a lot. I obsess. I try too hard. I get overly excited. I get overly angry. I most definitely get overly frustrated. This has both it's benefits and it's drawbacks. I would say for the vast majority of the time, it has been a drawback for me. But why?! But how?! It's been a drawback because far too many times, I've let my feelings, my emotions control my reactions and my decisions. Which kinda sucks because I've made some bad choices, done and said things I later regret, let nervousness get the best of me, let my lack of interest keep me from fulfilling my potential, missed opportunities, etc. It's not all bad. This passion has also served me well in some cases. Generally in the arena of overcoming physical feats, mental toughness, reflection, and self evolution. Which is pretty much what has brought me here to this post.

The thing about feelings is that they all go away. ALL OF THEM.  Repeat this to yourself. All feelings go away. Don't get me wrong. I love feelings. When the feelings are good, it's really good. When the feelings are bad, it's really bad. Anyone that's been in love or has had a broken heart knows this saga well. But guess what? All feelings go away. So what's the point?

The point is this: Feelings will wreak havoc on your goals and commitments if you give them control.  If you decide to you want to accomplish a huge goal and you aren't prepared to face the feeling of wanting to quit, well, you're already defeated. My husband, my muse, has this incredible way of feeling things. I know he feels them, I've seen his emotions expressed outwardly. He feels them, but he does not dwell. He moves forward. He feels and forgets. Sometimes this can be enraging for a passionate obsesser. Recently however I have learned the freedom and power that comes with understanding that ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY.

How is this useful? Set a goal. Come up with a plan. Execute the plan. Simple. While you're executing this plan, unless you're just sandbagging like crazy, you're likely to not feel like doing what you have to do at some point during the process. In the beginning you're all gung-ho and no one can crush your PMA (positive mental attitude). Then, some things will happen, you'll get tired, you'll get frustrated, you'll lose interest, you'll think you're failing and wonder why you even started. Now at this point is when you repeat it to yourself, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. I'm not dismissing your feelings, I'm not saying they aren't important. I'm saying they are temporary. Quitting is forever. You can tell yourself you can start over. Start over on Monday. Start again next training cycle. Start again next week. Start again when you 'feel' it. But that's bullshit. You already started. You can't erase what you already did. You can't go back and make it perfect. Time only moves in one direction. When you call it quits because it isn't all rainbows and sausages, you're sending a message to yourself that you're weak and you can't hang and you quit. That becomes a habit. A habit of quitting.

Let's talk about trees and weather (metaphor coming at ya and probably not a new one). Feelings are like the wind. They come, they are inevitable. Some are gentle and nice and pleasurable. Some are strong and exhilarating. Some come with rain and cold. Some come in spirals and really try to fuck you up. Leaves let the wind carry them. Leaves let the wind decide where they land. Now I'm starting to feel cheesy but just don't be the leaf ok? Be the fucking tree. Feelings will come and they will sway you in one direction or another, some will test your roots, some will be so strong that you'll just want to uproot and go somewhere else. Repeat it when it gets so hard that you want to quit. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the wind pass over you but remain committed to the goal. Failure is not fatal. Quitting is fatal.

Imagine some strong feelings you may have about anything. ANYTHING. Like let's say you get really pissed off at your kid/spouse/animal/teacher/boss/whoever and you experience extreme feelings of anger. In this moment, when you want to say or do something fueled by this anger, this is when you repeat it, ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Let the feeling of anger pass over you like the wind. THEN, react. And when you react and the feelings have somewhat passed, try to do it from a place of love (cheesy again, right?! This is sorta segueing into a future post). You can use this anytime in any situation. ALL FEELINGS GO AWAY. Be the tree. Don't be the fucking leaf.  

Even Feelings like this go away

Potential, Heart, and Interest

Today in the gym I was talking with Wade about one of the lifters who seems have a fire under their ass about training lately. The conversation didn't go much further than that.....but of course it got me thinking because thinking is my fav.

Let's start with records. Are all lifters/athletes capable of being the best? Of breaking records? No. Of course not. I struggle with how to answer/react to comments like 'well I'm not breaking any records or anything'......and today, I am able to articulate why this type of comment drives me bonkers. If you're writing yourself off because you aren't breaking records, then are you selling yourself short of fulfilling your potential? Not everyone is going to be the best, not everyone is going to be number one, but is that a reason to slack in training? I continue to compete and train because I believe I've still got room to grow. I've still got weight to put on the bar. I know that I am capable of more than I have accomplished this far, and I can't stop until I reach the ceiling of my potential. Will I break some records as I approach my ceiling? Probably. But that's my ceiling. My ceiling doesn't look like anyone else's ceiling but mine. The thing that is great about the lifter in the gym is that they are in it to reach their potential. The fire that is under his ass is the desire to fulfill his potential. Will he break any records? I have no idea. BUT DOES IT MATTER? Nope. There is nothing more satisfying than working your ass off, knowing that you didn't let up, knowing that you gave it everything you had, that you followed through, that you took every intentional step you could and seeing it all come together. Will you fall short of your goal every now and then? Yep. BUT DOES IT MATTER? Nope. It doesn't matter because you will have become a better person, a better athlete, a better boss, a better employee, just better. Well, you will have become better, you will have gave it everything you had IF you have......heart.

Heart. What does it mean to have heart? It means having the desire to fulfill your potential. I'm not sure that there is anything that drives me more crazy than a person with all the talent in world and no heart to see it through. I can't even take interest in those people. I. CAN'T. EVEN. This is what separates winners from losers. In life, winners have heart. And sprinkles.

Growing up, heart was my bread and butter. What the hell am I talking about? Heart was/is/always will be my bread and butter. That is IF I am interested in something. DAMMIT! Academics; not interested. I love learning, but man I hate going to class and doing school work. In the 8th grade I got really into school. Guess what? My grades were freakin awesome. Maybe it was the smaller class sizes. Maybe it was the teachers taking a vested interest in me. In college I took some summer courses one year. I again did awesome. Maybe because it was concentrated and again smaller class sizes? Who knows? Who cares? The point is, I have since realized some things about how I work. I have also since realized that sometimes you gotta just suck it up and get shit done. DAMMIT! If only I could go back to high school sports and college academics! Nah. I'm pretty good where I'm at. But, just for the record, I'd murder that shit.

Potential+Heart+Interest=Greatness

Do you always have all three? Nope. Are you always capable of fulfilling your potential? Yeah buddy.

Now, get to work.